"You're In Charge" with Glenn Pasch
"You're In Charge" with Glenn Pasch

Episode 107 · 1 year ago

Self Awareness & Optimized Leadership with Wylie McGraw

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

As individuals and leaders, we constantly strive to improve our performance. We read books, listen to podcasts like this or attend masterminds or conferences. All great things to help improve performance. 

But without self awareness of strengths and weaknesses, you could be building your skills on a faulty foundation. How do you know? What can you do?  

In this episode, Wylie McGraw, Combat Veteran, Star Athlete and now Performance Accelerator shares what he feels are the building blocks of being an optimized leader. He takes the audience through his journey to success and now how he works with individuals to unlock their true potential  

Exciting conversation and really tactical as well. Enjoy the conversation. 

Please don't forget to subscribe, share and rate the show!!! Thanks for the support.   

About Wylie McGraw  

Wylie is a Performance Accelerator who thrives on assisting high-performing CEOs, entrepreneurs, and public figures break through their limitations and take their performance and their business to an even higher level.  

He draws on his experience as a former star baseball pitcher, competitive bull rider, and 3-tour combat veteran to help individuals eradicate stress and push beyond their boundaries to achieve new levels of sustained success in everything they do.  

For more than a decade now, Wylie has been working one-on-one with the highest-performing professionals, from Wall Street and Hollywood to pro sports and Fortune 500 companies, helping them accelerate beyond what they ever imagined possible. Wylie believes that self-mastery can be attained by pushing way beyond your comfort levels to discover levels previously unknown to oneself.  

Connect with Wylie:  

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wyliemcgraw/

Website: https://www.wyliemcgraw.com/ 

About Glenn Pasch:   

"Everyone finds themselves in charge at some point in their lives. Yet many of us lack the skills to generate consistent results. My goal is to help you learn the skills to adapt and grow in your personal and business life.”  

Glenn Pasch is CEO of PCG Digital, a full service digital marketing agency that specializes in helping businesses create and deliver customers raving, recommending & returning for more. 

He is author of 2 books including "The Power of Connected Marketing" and has spoken and educated audiences throughout the US and internationally.     

Let’s Connect:   

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/glennpasch/​

Personal Website http://glennpasch.com/

​Company website: https://pcgdigital.com/

Support for this episode comes from PCG digital. It is anywhere from difficult to impossible to manage every aspect of the changing digital landscape. Rather than trying to do it yourself, why not leave it to an award winning team of Digital Marketing Specialists who have mastered at all connect to your message with more potential customers with PCG digital? Go to PCG digitalcom for more information. As leaders, or just as individuals, were constantly looking for ways to optimize our performance. Have better relationships, better health, better performance at work, leading our team to, you know, new levels of success. And a lot of times we're reaching out to maybe other coaches, or there's mastermind programs or we're listening to selfhelp books, all in order to achieve this new level of success. But what if we're not really grounded and centered ourselves first, like we really understand our foundation? If not, what we're doing is we're trying all of these new things but we're really not changing, and that's what my guest today is sharing. His philosophy of trying doesn't really work. It's it's about transformation, it's about optimizing your true self. and His name is Whiley McGraw. He was a professional athlete, he was a professional bull rider as well as a soldier and over his years of working as a leader, developing himself as a leader, he then moved into helping leaders become more successful, optimizing their performance. But truly the very first thing is understanding who you are and what stresses you still carry around with you that you haven't addressed, because if we're not dealing from that position of being centered, as they said earlier, all we're doing is trying things as a bandaid and nothing moves forward. So I'm really excited this. This conversation was so passionate. He is one fired up individual, but he really hones in on how to help you optimize your self. So let's dive into today's episode of You'R in charge conversations that spark change with my guest, Whiley mcgrawl. All Right, whilie, thank you so much for joining me today. I'm very excited because when I got connected with you, just looking at your overview, there's a few disparate things. You know from military sports, and I think it's bull riding. Was I there writing you? Yeah, absolutely so. So I'm sure we're going to touch on all of those to figure out how that affects and helps leaders and what you've learned. But where I want to really start off, because all three of them contain this idea of, you know, self, doubt or fear of what we can accomplish. So I'd like to jump in there to say, in all of those different areas when you approached something new, something in some ways dangerous or fearful, how did you push through that in order to either get started or continue through to be successful? Well, first, thanks for having me on, Glenn. I'm happy that we got the opportunity to do this and, yeah, I want it. Let's jump into that. I realized in those very extreme environments that they were they were there for me to learn how to actually stretch my own capacity and be willing to embrace and yield to the unknown, even though it might be scary and cast highly uncomfortable or somewhat dangerous. was actually the only way we're really going to be challenged, the right way to stretch that capacity and be able to create more awareness...

...and consequently grow and accelerate and move ourselves into another level of our own personal performance. So those innate experiences really helped me cultivate my own intuitive nature to really discern what is really beneficial to me in those moments, in those environments, and versus what isn't, and that is the only way I was able to quote push through those challenges and actually take myself as high as I really wanted to go. So I want to make sure that that word is really landing right now as we start this off, is discernment is the key. Keen discernment is the key for anyone in leadership to get themselves on the path toward peak performance. That's where you actually start to know how to identify the right resources that you bring into your organization or into our life. It's where you can really identify more optimal solutions for the problems that you face. It really helps you, if you will understand the difference between helping and optimizing and realizing that the only way you're going to hit your peek and be able to sustain that is through optimization, and through optimization is where the real challenge lies. Right that makes so, you know it does, but to some folks listening I'm sure they're going to say, okay, I think he's talking about. Another way to phrase it is self awareness or to understand what you bring. Some people are going to sit there, I am sure, especially those who are new to being in charge of something. They're going to sit there and they're going to say why, that sounds great. How do I do that? How do I look at how do I audit myself to know what I bring in terms of value? I'm just trying to get through my day. So I love that's let's unpack that a little bit. Try to figure out how someone would be at a checklist or a thought. Sure, where do they start? Sure, so let's start with this. Let's get it out of our minds that we need to figure out how to do that right off the bat, especially those of who are new positions of leadership, like you said, new managers, even those that are experienced high powered leaders. Getting away from the incessant need to know how everything is broken down will actually provide you more awareness, so to speak, when it comes to your own leadership. Now, HM, unpacking that, I want to start off with this. In the world or the landscape of high performance and leadership, there is no such thing as trying or dealing with anything, despite whatever we want to believe, whatever we're taught by social norms or pressures. The the idea that I'm going to try to figure this out or that I'm going to just deal with certain things as I figure things out, is kind of it's akin to being in limbo, or a perfectory, if you will. It creates limitation. It's kind of like throwing a ton of rocks on your back and trying to run a marathon, or putting a parking break on a sports car and then stepping on the gas and expecting that thing to perform at its peak. So right there are first and foremost is, let's break down the idea that I need to figure out how right away, and allow yourself permission to step towards that discernment of the differences between and I have this in a paper that I wrote called why you need to get UN fucked, and it's the five major contrasts that you need to understand to take yourself in your organization to the next level. So even you say to show ahead. So so starting rep but so just what struck me right there where that idea of limbo where I'm trying in true let me see if I can explain this, in trying to figure it out. You don't figure anything out because, well, you're convincing yourself, you're you're doing thoughtful things, are busy things, but it's just this idea of planning to figure and trying and nothing, nothing's concrete moving you forward. Is it is sort of great where we're going? Okay, absolutely, and Glenn just said to add to that, the idea that you're going to quote, try something provides a level of relief and that level of...

...relief makes you feel, like you said, things are moving. We're unfortunately, things are not moving in the way or in the in the speed that you want them to. Right. We get lost in this idea that if I'm trying, if I'm attempting, if I am figuring things out, how I must be changing or transforming and growing. And yet we still find leaders of all calibers suffering in silence. They're still stuck in the grind, they're still stuck in the stress of what's next? What else do I need to do? And nobody is operating from a place of that piece, that freedom and the knowing and and bringing in the right solutions. Everybody's trying to figure out the solutions and then we never really get anywhere. That's what I wanted to make sure that I'm gus know that. That makes see. That to me makes that crystal clear and I hope everyone really understands that. Is that a lot of times it's we try something without a plan and we think we're moving forward. Or we spend so much time by speaking to someone the other day and they use that term death by meetings. Were constantly meeting to figure something out and nothing gets done because no one really understands how to plan, how to break down what I can bring to the situation. So we get caught up in the illusion of effort and we're not really moving forward right and we call I call it the I talk called getting high on the dopamine of change, when in fact nothing's really transforming. There's this level and again, these contrasts. Want to go back to that quickly. That paper, these five contrast and I even have them, is first and foremost understanding the difference between transference and transformation and what that means for you, the difference between helping and optimizing, addition versus removal, deflection versus acceptance, and the last one is relief versus resolution. Now, the biggest thing that I've noticed in the work that I've done and being around high powered leaders is we are stuck in the ladder. We're stuck in the transference to help, the addition, the deflection and the relief, and we feel that that is what it takes to be successful. But high performance requires us to go far beyond that. It requires us to step into the real world of transformation, be an optimized per A. First, personally and professionally, understanding that you're never going to get to where you want to go if you keep adding more in instead of removing what actually occupies space and affects your ability to prove right, top your game, if you keep deflecting from things that are very uncomfortable, the things that are very unknown to you, instead of accepting it, regardless if you work with the resource or you accept that deal or you whatever might become in your way. Is Understanding that in that moment, every opportunity has benefit in gold that you could pull from it. You have to discern right, but is what is actually a threat and what is actually a benefit. But we don't have that discernment. And then, lastly, it's we're constantly stuck in this idea that as long as I find relief, I will grow. Resolution is the key and until you can get that keen discernment in place and get on the path towards that peak performance, that is where real resolution and real world results can show up for you to actually changes your direction and transforms you and your company and your leadership and power. Now see see that. I Love I love that breakdown because especially the relief and resolution just because something is over, you know, be it all that meeting or that conversation or boy that I can't that day. It's over and we're relieved. But did anything, and I love that idea, did anything really change? Or is tomorrow just going to be another version of the same thing and we'll be relieved when that day is over? But right not. But six months from now we're going to look back and say we're still in the same place or we're dealing with the same frustrations instead of really in embracing, as you said, embracing this...

...idea. We have to change, and changes transformation. That mean something has to be different. We have to think it through, we have to plan and, to your point, we have to can't keep deflecting. We have to focus, we have to embrace and that that's that really is true leadership, because you you are willing to face those who known's, face the uncomfortable, face the unknown, and be willing to set sail and say that's where we're going, based on all of our data, based on our resources, based on what our experience is. Here's where we're going, and we commit to it. Doesn't mean we can't change, and I know of course it is. Back to what your first conversation was, is that we want to plan everything out and know how it's going to end before we get started. Right. That's not life. Well, and that's the thing is we look at at I've noticed this. This is the world of personal development, leadership development. We are constantly bombarded with all of these programs, steps, processes and systems. We, as human beings, are so afraid, truly of the unknown, the white space, the ambiguity, as I call it, that we get caught up in the idea that everything needs to be broken down into steps so that we can actually evolve. But unfortunately, what happens, and this is through my experience, from being a star athlete to a bull rider to a combat veteran and then beyond, working with high powered leaders for selfmastery and peak performance is understanding that we are dynamic, complex be means. The state of who we are and how well we live our life actually directly impacts our performance in our ability to succeed. The idea that we can chase money and popularity first as a means to look like we're successful is why we are all watching the world around us feel and stay limited. Steps are necessary to a certain degree, but when it comes to your performance and how you show up as a leader, optimization, holistically, getting to that place of real resolution, resolving, eradicating chronic stress that has plagued you your entire life that creates those undetectable patterns of doubt, fear and cautiousness. That is how you get onto the path and map out blowing past your limits, if you will. Like. I know that's one of the things that we discussed already, was how do we map this out? Well, start with the discernment. Understand that when something comes into your life, when the kind of resources you bring into your world feel very uncomfortable and very challenging, you need to sit in that for a moment and discern whether or not they're a threat or they're actually an asset and that is where you get onto the right path to to be able to discern which way to go and watch your leadership grow. But we have people they're stuck in this idea that if it doesn't look the same, it doesn't feel the same, if it's, you know, slightly uncomfortable, then this must be the thing I need. And then we never really see people living their life as the way they portray themselves in public. Right, right, right. Yeah, that that makes sense. So let's let's let's dive in and pivot little bit. You view is the word a few times optimizing. So when you say to someone, or you're sitting across someone or me, we're having our conversation sharing, you're saying, okay, optimization of yourself, be it your life, Your Business, your personal when you start talking through optimization, what does that mean? What? What does it what? What are the things that you're looking at in order to to, as you said, sit with it and embrace it and discern what when you say optimized, he explain that a little bit. Will consider the difference between being helped, the power and the energy behind that word help, versus the power and energy behind optimized. You can already feel it when you even say it out loud. There's a huge difference between the two, and that's why that I have another paper, it's on the home page of my website, called helping versus optimizing, and it's why leaders are wasting their life chasing peak performance instead of master right now, when I you and I are talking about optimization, I'm talking about holistically looking at every aspect of your life like...

...there's something you shared with me previously before we get on here, was health. That's one of those components of who we are that leaders especially like to overlook and because they don't see any value in their health, because they are so addicted to the grind and because they are addicted to that grind, the other aspects of their life they're willing to sacrifice so that they can make that bottom line grow, so they can feel like they've accomplished something right. So, when I say optimize, I'm talking about going into your life and and being aware of an eradicating every aspect that is not accelerating you and in getting you to the place you choose and want to be. It's not. It's kind of like my health is suffering, my relationships are in turmoil, my kids don't listen to me. Yet I'm worth a billion dollars, yet I'm popular, people know about me right, and I'm considered a real leader. Well, to me, that's not real leadership, because if you are suffering in silence behind the curtain, well, why would anyone want to emulate that? Truly right, what kind of legacy do you want to leave as a manager, a leader, etc. So optimization is all about you bringing in the right outside force that knows how to get into the trenches with you to truly eradicate every aspect of your unresolved stress, the blind spots that have developed over the years of compensation with those stresses you just quote. Dealing with things right and that that is where you can actually elevate your performance and experience it on a daily basis. It's kind of like the athletes I've work in the past. They call it being in the zone. Well, imagine what it would be like to be in the zone every moment of every day, knowing how to tap into all your potential, watching your relationships thrive, feeling that peace and feeling like you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. And, despite what comes your way, you know how to manage it rather than just deal with hood. That's what optimization is all about. Is You holistically being unfucked or if you're not well, your leadership is limited and you're only going to take so many of the people you lead so far. Yeah, that that makes he now. That clarifies it for me, I hope for the audience as well. You too, Um, especially the point about health, because one I think people assume they're always going to be healthy. Rightly, they short change the that this this body. I need this body to be present. I needed to be functioning well, to be present for my team, for my relationships, whoever. And then also it is, you know, there there is this idea of being busy. Right. I interviewed a gentleman, Garland Vance, who wrote a book called getting unbusy, because he said the you know, being busy as this badge of honor now, and so everyone is to your point, everyone, let's everybody up at three o'clock or five o'clock, or I have to work seventeen hours and look, I have all these things where we start believing it. Even even I fell into it for a while. Of Well, because there's always something to do right will. Where you own a business, there's always something to do, you can always work, but is that really what you should be doing? To your point is, but if I'm with my family, I'm not really present because I'm over here thinking of something else and it and his idea was very similar to yours, where it's the removal, remove these things because they're you know, just being busy for busy sake is not really getting you where you want to be. It's not health is impact. It what you got to go to the core of that first and foremost. I it's honestly crazy. It seems so remedial to me, because health is absolute priority. There's only one way I'm going to be the best possible performance accelerator for leaders is if I live that life, if I truly hold up the highest standards and I show up every single moment every day, living what it is I'm telling leaders they can have, then I'm going to really transform their lives and get them to the top of their game and then get out of their way so they can go off and keep having a bigger impact. But absolutely if if...

I'm suffering with my health and my wife and I are not getting along and you know, I'm not taking care of my dog and all of these things around me are crumbling because I have not been willing to face or address them. Then at the end of the day, I have no business going out to the world and doing the work that I do period. And yet we compensate. That's a key word, is people compensate with their life experiences, their TRAUMAS, their stresses. They suppress them and they feel they can overlook them, sweep them under the rug and they can hack their way bypass, circumvent and compartmentalize themselves to a level of success that they like you said, we've become accustomed to it, use to it and we've made it the norm, so that anything outside of that, that challenge is it sounds weird, different and like wrong and right. I'm saying is like no. At the end of the day, how well you live your life does directly impact your ability to perform, and that performance is what creates your the by products of your monetary success, your notoriety and your ability to grow your business. and Go back to this last point, Glen, and I want your audience to hear that, you said it was the idea that I'm I'm busy, I'm busy as a badge of honor. If you really pull yourself back and you look at it from the more the macro view or the fifty thousand foot like overview of it, you really see that people that are stuck in the grind, that are busy, there is an avoidance there. They are trying to get away from something. There's this level again, of compensation to one side of the spectrum and they're creating, unwittingly, this world of busy around them to not feel something that might be going on in their life. Men, especially our culprits, to that. We're taught suck it up and deal with it, get over it already. And those are the unresolved stresses that literally occupy space. They fester within us and they directly create live wires that attract into our lives things that are in total opposition to what we say we want, and then we wonder why things aren't working out as optimally as we want them to be. So then we chase after more, more relief, more grind, and keep pushing, pushing, pushing, and we break things around us, and that's why our world crumbles and that's why a leadership fails and why societies fall apart and people are in factions fighting against each other is because our leaders are not living the life they're telling other people to live. That's why all about yeah, now, and I think that that that's spot on. And what happens is, if you don't take the time to audit, to really sit down, as you said, optimizing, you're going to end up end of your life and of your journey, wherever you are or a period of time, and look at it and say I'm in completely the wrong direction. Absolutely, I base it to your point is I've broken everything, I've lost everything, or I'm just not happy. I've convinced myself. I keep working hard at a bad process and all of a sudden I'm way away from where I wanted. Are Now time, I've wasted time. So I think what I think is really incredible about this conversation is at any moment in time you have permission to stop. Sure absolutely to optimize and pivot if you have to, or at least start to plan to pivot, to say my health isn't what it should be, I'm going to work down this road. This isn't where I want it to be. I can start making changes, but you have to take that first step, to sit there and and and that. You've said it a couple times and I love it. Is You have to sit in it and you have to feel it, Gett a becomfortable in the discomfort, because that's the way anything. I should grow as well, because then your body is really changing you versus or mind. Your mind can convince you of a lot of things. Of course, I only feel it like like you said, you tamp it down enough, eventually it's going to blow and that's when you really feel it, and then then that's change. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely, and I want it to your point. I want to Tony Shay, remember, the Zappo's founder. He's a prime example of the type of quote leader as we look at him and nowadays. But understanding, I've run around in some of the circles that he was in...

...and unfortunately Tony compensated so much that he in despite his massive fortune, his massive success in business, he was unhappy and didn't know how to find peace within so he would pay people to be around him to portray that transference of happiness so that he can somewhat feel a little bit high on that and feel like he's actually experiencing life the way he really, at the core, wanted experience it, but nobody in his circle knew what to do with them. And this is the problem that I see with high powered leaders, especially, I mean managers. The your audience is listening to. It doesn't matter who you are, no matter what your capacity is. It all matters is when you have the right resources or people around you who are willing to actually get you to face those demons, is I called them, and really do something about it, Bush you through them so you can battle them head on and eradicate them. Then you can actually experience what I call acceleration, and when I called transformation, not just transference. You can go to a huge seminar and feel excited, jumping around with people and feel like you're getting somewhere, but that's just getting high on the energy of that environment. That's not transforming your life. The transformation that I'm talking about is the ugly, dark truth that people truck to attempt to overlook and ignore. So Tony she was a prime example of that, and the man unfortunately created a scenario in which he died because he just couldn't figure out who he was. They he didn't know how to be in a relationship to himself and he didn't know where true power was derived from. So we compensated constantly. And despite the fact that he had a seven hundred million dollar net worth and he grew one of the biggest companies in the world, that is not a legacy. If you're any type of leader who to values the legacy you want to leave, that is not something to emulate and it takes someone who's willing to walk towards the most uncomfortable things to truly take their game to another level and lead by example. Yes, yeah, and and and that was such a tragic it was very tragic because the company he's built was so focused on taking care of people and right resolving situations and listening and spending as much time as you need to have a conversation to understand that. His company was built on understanding right. There's for some reason he couldn't undersunderstand himself, so he surrounded himself with the illusion and people and a people on payroll to basically cater to him or just have fun with him. He just tried to see if I could fund my way out of this depression, right, and a just couldn't it, just couldn't do it tooke him up. Yeah, broke him. Yeah, it did. So let's talk about you sent me a video and all, yes, it up. I'll link it up in the show notes as well. Fascinating thing about the idea of fear and and and stress. Yes, that that sits in our life. So I'd like to pivot a little bit, because we are all dealing with the idea of stress a lot from what we talked about earlier. The Lot to do were very busy, where if we are in a leadership position we have more responsibility. We may not have the skill set right now. So it's a little fake it till I make it and hopefully I get through. I mean it. I'm getting stress just thinking about it. So right, when you're talking about this idea of stress and how to deal with it and how to work your way through it, not ignore it. Right, like we said, we don't want to annoyice it right. So walk me through that your thought on stress and facing and working through it. I I would love to you and your audience and I want this is a very valid, valid topic to discuss and I will share with this in the world. I let me back up here. I was born into this world with a specific type of superpower, if you will, were gift, and I didn't understand it as a kid. I didn't realize and understand why I was the bearer of everyone's stress. Everyone's constantly dumping it on. Here's...

Wiley, he's the place for me to take it. Right so, right as I was an athlete in performing and being coached by the pros, I grew around paroleball players. My Dad would just was incessant with my perfectionist with my arm, and become a picture the outside. Stress of my family dynamic started to break me and it really drove me into wanting to push past what was expected of me and find out who I really was as a man. So I'm going to share the story quickly so we can get to that, the fear and stress you just asked about. And that is where the world of Rodeo came knocking and I intuitively, at some degree, felt like I needed to go there. And when I did, I broke away from that family dynamic, that expectation my dad placed on me. It pissed them all off and that was okay. I did it anyway because I started to feel alive. I started to feel an unleashing of who I really was, this wild warrior that I knew was inside me but was being suppressed by my family. I was made wrong for it, so I was pushed into this place of being a little more reserved, even though I was more assertive, and it was it was, it was punished. So when I got to that world, writing it and ignited this new found awareness of myself and I realized the real world challenges that scare me are where I'm really going to grow and expand my capacity. Now, I started to understart to figure out, okay, well, let me understand the differences in stress and how they do affect my ability to perform in these environments. And it wasn't until I got into the military and I became a common infantryman and I went to Afghanistan, was my second tour. My first tour was coast of all my second tour was Afghanistan, and when I went to Afghanistan I started to lead men, I started to really experience it's almost like this awareness to what stress really is that and the two types we actually experience and live with on a daily basis. That's human beings. So that video I set you, I discovered in combat, in the most chaotic of situations, this early, calm nature of myself. In those situations of moments where I was able to identify life blind spots quickly, I was able to move my men into better performance and better action. Our missions were accomplished much more efficiently. And I realize that there's only two types of stress we actually experience in life, and I call one chronic stress and I call the other acute stress. The chronic in acute stresses are tied together. The acute stresses that you experience, just like the word acute is short term, are the life experiences that keep happening to you, no matter how much you think you have things under control or figured it out period. They just reoccurring situations that are not optimal for yourself and your organization, your performance, your life, and those acute stresses are tied into the chronic stresses of life's experiences. Those are those stresses that you have had through family dysfunction, trauma, chaos, pain, suffering that you have not really eradicated, you've not faced, like we talked about right, and those chronic stresses will occupy space in your mind, they will occupy space in new energetically and unconsciously, and they will fester and they will create acute stresses or situations that keep happening in your life and until you address them and face them and eradicate them, you are going to experience that up and down roller coaster your of your experience. So I discovered that in combat and I wanted to further explore that because what I realized was we have what's a normal stress in life. Being a leader, running companies, taking care of people, will high responsibility is going to bring about what we consider a stress. But when you have learned to manage your inner volatility first and you understand the differences between those stresses, those acute and chronic stresses, and you eradicate the chronic ones, you will realize that no matter what situation comes your way, you will know how to manage it and turn it into an asset for your performance, for your team's function, for your leadership development, instead of it's being something that causes you to go back to what we talked about, is chasing relief on a daily basis. Who I've done without one thank God right. That's that is...

...not how anyone should be living their life period. So I discovered that and I create that little video on purpose. So I wanted people to really sink their teeth into understanding those two types so they can really start navigating and discerning what is really stressful for themselves and what is just something that they have basically harbored, that they have not addressed. And when you can identify those keen differences, you'll see that your life will change in ways that you least expect it. So I hope that answers the question. Yeah, so so. So what I'm hearing is the chronic ones are just either behavior or some, as you said, stress, something that we carry with us all the time, and it may be low level or whatever, but maybe it's a family the way to your point, how you always have behaved with the family, or how you're seeing in your family or your group of friends or your coming and you feel this behavior and stress ass of well, I'm going to work and not have to put on this face, or I'm over here and I put on this face right and it's it's you just do you never feel like you can be the real you. But it's this constant, almost like a jacket I have to put on when I'm heading into a certain situation. The acute one. It sounds like you're never going to get rid of those, because that's just life and stimulus and something that's coming at you all the time. Well, the you a cute if I will, the cute the cute stresses will transform around you because you've dealt with the chronic stress. So that's why I'm saying that extress creates the acute stresses. Yeah, yeah, so your the the what I'm hearing is if I can level out or address or confront or put put to bed, so to speak, these some of these chronic ones, I become more of myself one some of those acute stresses that were popping up or tied to the chronic. But this way, if other stressful situations come you, you're more in control of it one because you've dealt with other, bigger stresses. But more importantly, is it you. You just are in a more whole place as yourself to be able to deal with this as is right. You become fully right, you become fully aligned with who you are at the core. Right it's UN an unbelievable experience, because it doesn't mean that as I run my multiple seven figure business, I'm not going to experience, as I work with these type of leaders. I'm always interacting with the the kind of stress that comes with it. But I realize that this is not mine and I understand because I am in alignment with WHO I am at the COREPS I have eradicated my chronic stresses. I do live a life of optimization that when this happens, I know how to utilize it as an asset for my ability to support those leaders so that they do the same thing. So the fear that is birth from stress that has not been faced or resolved is what creates those patterns of doubt and cautiousness when it comes to leadership, despite what might be a convincing factor in our own minds that oh no, this is just a norrmal cost of being human and the normal cost of buds. Yes, yeah, it's like Eli. I'll give you an example, Glenn, and your audience, to Elon Musk it. Despite what we see and what we feel about him as a man and what he has been able to do, I do not deny his genius. However, I can see the truth of what's really going on with them. That's just what I that's my gift and what I'm able to do and why I do what I do. Is if Elon Musk would have addressed the abuse and him being bullied as a kid and actually done something about that stress that still plagues him to this day, we would not see the ups and downs with him when it comes to himself as a public figure. We would not consider what he is doing when it comes to battling other billionaires in the way he does, in the way he talks and kind of throws these did these digs on twitter, etc. Right. We're not. We would not a reward that and celebrate that. Is, Oh, that's just a billionaire guy who's amazing because he's transforming the world. Will Imagine who Elon Musk would actually be if he was fully optimized and completely resolved. We probably would be on Saturn or in another galaxy by now, because he's just brilliant. But he's what we're...

...dealing with, this up and down and constant back and forth, and we're watching these billionaires battled each other because they are just, unfortunately, unresolved little boys who have never really done anything to fill then, true, but do you think part of their success is from not resolving certain thing? No, they still have that edge. Where they're going. I'm going to prove you're wrong. I don't really let you know what. That's the unfortunate part about leaders. We think that it we're going to use our pain and our stress to build our empires, but think about what happens is when you build your empire on the back of chaos and stress, you're going to infect the people that follow you and people are only going to get so far period. It doesn't we can fight that all day long. Right, they have created, quote, success, but why do we use money and notoriety as a benchmark of what success is supposed to look like? Why are we looking at who the hell is the person and how well are they living their life and what are the relationships like? Do I want to emulate somebody who's just like a spiteful of human being who's got a bunch of money? He did a bunch of stuff. That again great. He he built something that the masses by. So if you have the Matt, hundred million people buying a twenty dollar product, of course you're going to make a ton of money. Right. What is the quality of you in your leadership role? How is that actually, you know, affecting or impacting bays that lead? And I want to shift that paradigm and start challenging people when they think about leadership and success and realize that the money and notoriety are by products of alignment. It does not mean you're a good person. We have narcissists that run companies and organizations and countries who were literally just because they they have something in public eye. We go, Oh, look at that, that's got to be really good, that's got to be strong. I want that too, and I'm going to stop trying to be like that and start focusing on you and finding out where your power is derived from, find out who you really are the court and lead from that position. That's why I bring them up. No, and I think that's I you know, and and the reason I pushed back is that's because that's her people are going to say, of course I agree with you. Is that we are in a it's always happened it in we've always held people up on pedestals because of the image that was presented. You know, it could be right movie stars in the S S and s who had you know, you saw what was presented, but they had horrible lives, they were hard, evil, they all this dysfunction. But again, and we are in a society where it's really quick. You know, instagram life and you look at all of what I have and and I love what you're talking about is that the more centered you can be on you doesn't mean that you won't achieve. But who cares if you have everything and you look around and nobody's there with you or you're miserable as you I love the thing you said is that you've just broken everything along the way. Everything is just demolished. Right. Yes, you won, I have x whatever on the bank account, on I want, but I turn around and go who? I have no one to share it with. I'm not fulfilled, I'm not healthy, mentally, physically whatever. What I really love about this conversation is is that idea of you know, it all starts with you and you have to make that decision. Sure to say I want to resolve some of this. I want to know why do I want to have a life full of stress and argument and fight and mean not to me, just it's just feel so unhealthy. Yeah, that. But so why are we doing that? Why are we celebrating that and saying, Glenn, why are we celebrate and going you know what, I'm just going to deal with that. Will guess what. You that's not high performance. True high performance, right, is you eradicating and not dealing with those aspects of life that feels stressful. Why? Why do we consider that something to achieve? Where we go? You know, as long as I can basically hold it back and just accomplish x over...

...here, I'll be good. And I've met so many public figures, I've had dinners with their like now I'm pretty, I'm good where I'm at. It's like really, because I'm I can see the pain in your face, I can see how you're suffering. But yet when your face was something that's challenging you, that's when you clam up and your ego comes out and goes not, no, no, I'm good where I'm at, look who I am. It's like you get caught up in this, like right, this this facade of vanity and false almost a false leadership and pete. And you think, because you have all these millions of people kind of Gawking at you that are basically the masses. But it's like, look at the leg he's like you said, if you look around our politicians especially, look at the chaos they leave in their wake. Sure, what are we doing? Why? If your decisions are not uplifting people and things are not healing and growing and transforming and feeling optimal and people are in peace and everything is feeling growing and moving the right direction, then there's clearly something wrong with you, not things outside of you. And I've met so many people in positions of power and influence that think when things are broken around them, it's everything outside of them, it's never them. Ever, no, no, I know a lot of times it's because we're measuring the end metric and it's not about how you got there, it's did you win or lose? You know, I remember dealing with salespeople when I would run sale rooms. They would be I would go, oh my God, but they there, there answer when I say we have to change this. There their default was. But did you see my numbers? Did you see what I sold? You see how good I'm doing and I'm going but no, this is not the way we need. But look at my numbers or you're not doing that. But look at my numbers. And to your point is we celebrate the numbers. We're not celebrating how we got there, how the person is. It's just, Oh, look at all the things they have, and yet they're the they're they're just they're not optimized, like you're said, right, there's this constant addiction to accumulation and when people acumulate, they are are compensating in and overlooking really the truth in the back of their mind, despite what their ego might say. I know people that are listening to this leaders that might end up, you know, running into this conversation, will here and go yeah, at the core I know that I'm not living my best life. But then when we get around the circles of influence that we're in and around people that have success at a higher level than us or others that are emulating or looking up to us, it's like we switch on a different persona, like you said earlier, right, and then we operate from that place and then we go back home and royal, I still feel like nothing. I'm not fulfilled and fully satisfied. Why do I feel as well, let me just keep adding numbers to my books. Let me just keep growing the byway. Let me X and twenty X my business. That's what we compare. If you think about right, the image just you had is like the business meeting, a conference, and what everybody Sho is comparing what they have. What are your numbers? What do you have? Where did you go vacation? What did you do? And it seems that that's what we're sharing, especially down to our workers. Are Are Employees? Are People on our team? Are Children? That it's all about accumulation of things, things outside of ourselves, seas right, versus really being able to center yourself and say I still can have things. Sure, that's okay, but along the way it's how are people talking about me? How do I want them to deal feel about me? What is I love, the word you use couple times is legacy. You know, why aren't we selling? If I will, I'm start to interrupting El Glenn. If why don't we start shifting the mindset around what we celebrate as success? Why don't we actually start celebrating selfmastery as a as the highest level of a success, and realize selfmastery is feels very daunting because it means you have to battle through anything and everything that you have not addressed period,...

...and until you do that, you will never achieve that level of self mastery that, at the core, you really want. That's peak performance. So why am't we start celebrating that together and realize that the more we can get to that level of self mastery, the more we can get you, even new managers that are listening on that path towards it, and people that are at the top or in the middle, it doesn't matter where you're at. Get to celebrating that. Do that first. That means slow down just enough so that you can be present with that type of optimization and then understand your bottom line, your money, your fame, your notoriety, whatever you desire, will actually become exponential and highly sustainable. You think because you made ten million dollars last year, you go did it. Imagine it. If you want, you want to be a hundred million dollars and then that's your desire. What it would be like to actually attain that at a much faster rate because you have achieved selfmastery and realize that when you are in that position of optimized power, what you can create, there's no limits to it here. Yeah, what it what in the way to sort of wrap this section up here where what it sounds to me, and it just like flashed in my head, is it's like fine tuning a car right, if you tune it, you can go faster. You know, training for an athlete, as you were an athlete. They train so they don't have to think, but they can accelerate. And what I really like about that image of slowing down for a moment to assess what's going on, to fine tune yourself, get rid of some of the baggage, like address the baggage that's weighing you down from acceleration. Because yes, I could go attain the ten million dollars, but it's a hell of a struggle. I don't may not even realize how hard it is for me. But if all of a sudden I stop, all of a sudden I can really accelerate because I'm aligned right, I'm not being dragged down, and I think that's so important for everyone who's listening is allowing yourself, while he's giving you permission to stop for a moment and do that assessment for yourself and and be willing to face the struggle of addressing any of that, that stress that's bogging you down and making it because once you get on the other side, the lightness you will feel, the the the ability to see clearer move faster, is where your potential can be on leg exactly that it. That's amazing. If you get to that place, your potential is not something to a chase or try to accomplish. We hear it, we get sold on all these programs. Hundreds of billions of dollars as spent in personal development every year, banking on the idea that we are in this never ending process of development. We're always going to need to seek more and, you know, unleash more. M All these coaches now are unleash your potential, or not even unleash, they just use. Unlock your potential, tappen your potential. I'm saying right when you can actually accelerate, get to the top of your game and always have access to your potential without effort, you just it will be there as a fuel source to use. Like you said, a fine tune car performing at the top of its it's in its prime. is where you want to be. We can get there sooner than we think. We just have to be willing to face and and yield to the unknown and to the fear of the unknown and realize that is where our true power and potential lies. Is that alignment, that clarity, that balance and that optimization. And and to your point is if these if people are listening to your show here and they were my my soldiers, and I was leaving them or training them, getting them prep for combat, I was with a hundred first airborne division, the one of the most prestigious United States Army divisions in the world, as a combat infantry leader, and I would tell them this first and foremost matters is we got to learn how to crawl, walk, run, slow as smooth, smooth as fast, and then fast, because comes lethal. But what we have have happened in our societies?...

Everybody was just trying to be lethal. They don't, they've they overlook what's necessary to get to that place of organization. So it's like slow down enough, where the slower you become, the smoother you perform. And when you are a performing at a very smooth pace, you'll see that your results are exponential and they become even more abundant for you. You'll find that your presence alone inspires your employees, your staff, your team, whatever labels we give the people that work for us, you inspire them by your state of being first and foremost, long before you open your mouth right that aspect is what keeps and retains high quality talent. As we see right now. What's going on, this mass exod is of people leaving jobs because they don't feel valued. It's because the leaders are constantly thinking that everything outside of them is the problem and they're not slowing down to realize that maybe I'm at the culprit here and how I'm living my life and how I'm showing up is what's pushing all of my talent away from me. I've never seen more things on linkedin since I join linkedin of businesses offering massive salaries to pull people intore for them. I'm going, Holy Mackerel, where was that at when I was in high school? Like exactly. No have that anymore. So you can being behind the scenes for thirteen years without web presents was on purpose, because I only wanted to focus on optimizing specific leaders, getting out of their way and just being passed along and move along and let because for me it's not about getting hooked into someone else's stuff. It's about finding out who you are and how you're going to lead others. That's what I care about, and if a leader can step back in the wait a minute, let me realize that. What's going on again, go back to our earlier conversation, is chaotic and people are leaving in droves. Maybe I got to stop and realize I have not unfucked myself first and until I get there, I'm always going to experience, unfortunately, these acute stresses that keep happening to me. Yeah, that is that is powerful and that's such a great place to sort of land and wrap this up, because I just listening to that makes so much sense because if I just think of the people who have inspired me, leaders I've learned from or they moved a different way through the world. They seemed always in control. When stress was around them, they got slower, not faster. Right. And you know, I read there's an author that I love, Jack Car who writes, you know, and he talks always about that slow, you know, smooth, you know, slow as smooth and smooth as great and smooth as fast. You know, he talks the same way from the soldiers perspective, but I love that because those leaders never seem frenetic. They assess, they trust themselves because they know themselves right. I think that's really a great goal for all of us, is the more grounded we can be, the slower everything moves, we're in more control. But then when we want to accelerate, we can really can. And to your point, it becomes lethal in a way, meaning that, yeah, I guess I just am they're quick, fast and I can accomplish what I need to do and as all of a sudden, everyone goes, how to hell did that happen? And that's in spart that's very inspirational for people because they go, wow, this person is optimizing every aspect of what we're doing. I want to I want to make sure that I'm still people who want to work for the value of that relationship with the team, the organization first, long before money. We all know that. So I want to add to your point here real quick is the only way that people are going to in fact will past their limits is if they actually embrace the type of resources they've been able to discern that are unconventional and different from what they're used to. Because I know that I'm not for everyone. I understand that. However, when people are listening that want to be able to find those solutions in those resources, is going back to that keen discernment understanding that if you can start here, you'll find that you will attract or pull in, you'll find and look for the resources that actually serve you and face right what's proper for you, not something you've lean on and follow from them, but for you that challenges...

...you, because blowing past your limits, moving through all these unresolved stresses requires that outside force that knows how to hold you in it and hold you accountable to it. And what I've experienced, Glenn, you probably can agree with this. I'm sure you have in your experiences. Most leaders like to hire resources that they can still somewhat control. Their still this underlined. They're like, Oh, I feel uncomfortable my resources, my coach, my brain coach, my you know, my advice are etc. And I've seen them all constantly. I'm like yeah, but you still at a level controlling them and they're not really getting you the best results because you still have your hooks in them. And when you can get a resource that you are surrender to and trust and realize that they were there for a reason, to really pushing far beyond your own limits, you'll see that everything radically evolves much more efficiently for you, and that's where that slow as smooth, smooth as fast comes into it. There's no way I was ever going to be an expert marksman if I try to rush the trigger, squeeze right, try to rush the site picture. I had to learn of how to control my breathing no matter what the stress was around me. Take that inner volatility and utilize it for an asset, and that's why I was always lethal with my weapons, marksmanship, combat, etc. Because I took that and I optimize who I was as a soldier, and that's what it takes to be about the best leader possible. Right. Yeah, and I think to your point, excuse me, when you when you if you're just hiring resources. They could. If you don't, if you don't start from a place of really understanding who you are, while you're doing is hiring resources like band aids for things that you think solutely, but you're not really getting down to that core. Because once you do embrace that core and say, okay, this is who I am and here are some of the struggles I have to face. The resources will show up, but they'll be the right resources to fit the right problem versus just another band aid, just another program just another their audiobook or whatever it is. Yeah, think about here. Here's I'll give you an exampt two examples real quick, just to kind of close that up. Sure is. I I've been behind the scenes. I'm considered, quote, a no name, correct like nobody really knows I exist. Until now I'm starting to come out to the world because I'm tired of seeing how leaders are destroying our world. They're distorting it right, but consider the fact that I have worked with professional athletes, I have worked with celebrities, I worked with Hollywood executives, I've worked with hedge fund managers, fortune five hundred executives. I've worked with a array of leaders on purpose. It's because when somebody sees the results of me being in their life and they go I don't care who that guy is, I don't care what his name is, I don't care what he's a you know what he has done out in the public. What I care about is look at how he's optimized. My friend, my colleague. I want that for myself. That is why I've been so successful is because how I live my life, how I show up my my unique superpower being able to erupt those unresolved stresses that are underneath the surface of those leaders and get them to start feeling and facing these things and watching the performance transform. Is Why they have been turned on and why they say yes to it. And those are the types of leaders that I'm out in the world saying Hey, I'm here if you're looking for that. Doesn't matter what your resource. Your resource doesn't have to be a household name. It's all about discerning, like I can feel something unique and different with this resource that I know I need that's going to really push and challenge me and I'm not going to waste my time, energy and money. Year and in, year out. I met a guy who were a tech guy, works for I think an energy company years ago in San Diego and said, man, I'm spending a million dollars a year on these executive code which is for my staff, my twozero people, but none of them are really getting in a results. I'm well, you're blowing through a million bucks a year in your bottom line for some, some coaches that don't really know how to coach or people and you are still doing it. Why? I don't have any other option. These are apparently the recommended best coaches for my industry and what I do. So I'm just dealing with and I'm like right there, he's a kind of crap, like, why are you dealing with? That's not high performance. You're a an executive and an energy company responsible for zero people, and yet you're blowing through a million dollars a year. Let's end the endless cycle of sacrifice, suffer and pain and get you to where you want to go so that your people can up...

...level their game in your then you can have all the byproducts you want to new bottom line, etc. More profits, more power, whatever it is you desire comes from that place. First, exactly. Yeah, I love that, love that love. That so great. So, man, see, I love these conversations. Time to why this has been so powerful, so exciting. So first off, again, I appreciate you being here. So it count. With every episode we just sort of wind things down with a few few questions just to get people to go whoo, all right, let's let's let's answer a couple things. So just five random questions. I call them the one because this way you just one answer that pops into your head. Just odd questions off. So we'll just dive right in. So you talk about your you know, health and all the rest of that and living that good life. So then what's the one food that you just can't live without? That sort of your cheap food that may fall outside of your super healthy lifestyle? My cheap food that falls outside. You know what, I am a Scotch Single Malt Scotch Connoisseur, enthusiast. I don't think I'm that foreign accnosturs yet, but I really enjoy maybe a one ounce, one and a half pounce poor once a week. It's kind of like that's the thing outside of I don't I'm very high standards with my diet. So I love my vegetables. I eat based on what my body wants, my body type. I understand how to test for what is sensitivities, at allergies, etc. And I never waiver no matter what is around me. But that one little thing is that single Malt Scotch. I like to have a little drink once a week. It's a little that's a personal thing. Absolutely. Okay, so we're in the world. Would you like to travel next that you haven't been to yet. We're in the world when I home and I've been thirty countries in the military, but I never got to experience some outside of that. But honestly, I want I want to go back to where my my grandmother came from, and that was Scotland. I'd love to go spend a month in Scotland, maybe two months over there, and just explore that's that. I went there for about a week years ago and the Highlands and drove through and just one wonderful people, beautiful, a little spooky in certain areas. You know, sure when you're in an island. They said, Oh you feel the spirit? Say Said, Oh, I felt them definitely there. What's the one thing that you are reading, listening to, watching that is inspiring you that you'd like to share with the audience? Reading, watching and listening to that's inspiring me? HMM, you know, I just bought the book the art of War. Now I practice ancient martial arts. I figured, you know what, I have not read that book and I'm cracking it open this weekend. So I would say that's something I you we can touch base on again. Okay, so I'm about to dive into that, but I feel like it's just such an unique book in a many of my clients have read it and have read it with me. So now I finally bought it and it's in my library right now. Get ready to crack it open. Okay, we like that. If I gathered all of your very close friends and family together and ask them to describe you with one word, what would the one word you think they would use to describe you? Wow, one word to describe me? That's a very complex question. They would all say that I'm I'm fairly intense. That would be the word. I'm in takeing. Okay, I can I can see that. I'm going that. Wow, that's good. Okay. So last question. We've talked about a lot of things and covered a lot of different topics and the information is just so wonderful. But if you wanted to make sure that the audience took one thing away from our conversation, what would that one thing be? An optimized leader transforms the world, an unresolved one distorts it. That's what I want that. I want them to sit with that and realize what that actually entails and means. Is, when you're an optimized version of yourself. You actually can transform the world around you. If you don't, you're...

...going to distort it. HMM, that is that. I love that. That is fantastic. Right. Thing goes great. Listen, sir, why they thank you so much for a brother. I'm so glad we connected and that you came here, like we're, with the audience. Where they can connect with you. I know that, as you said, you're coming out now from the woodwork and behind the scenes to where can people connect with you? Online, socially or website? Where can they connect? Yeah, absolutely. Time to eruptcom is a forty linked to my website, while mcgrawcom. That's where they can really delve into just connecting them more into my philosophy and understanding of high performance and leadership development. They can read that paper helping versus optimizing, or why you need to get unfucked or both. They should read both. Highly recommend that. But time to ruptcom and you and I are connected on Linkedin, so linkedin forward, while mccraw and I want to share this as well, is that I know that people are listening to this. There ares there might be there might be this idea that there's while he's providing me this information, and then there's going to be some form of like, I guess, protocol on how to connect with them. And at the end of the day, Glenn, I am not a my work is not a program and up, it's not a process, it's not a system. I don't do sales funnels, I don't do Click Bates, I don't do email list what I care about is real world conversation for people to have the capacity and have the desire for optimist station. So if you feel compelled and you reach out to connect, you can pick up the phone and literally call me directly. We can have a real world conversation and just explore regardless word that might take us. That's why I put myself out there. Love that, love that's so folks, please take Wiley up on his offer. Again, I try not have people on the show that are, like you said, all of a sudden they're in a funnel and hey, here program and all the rest of that. I I mark it for a living in it a noise to help out. I bet you doing that's will interstated. Yeah, so again, thank you so much for be welcome. Brother. Thank you, and so everyone out there again, please make sure you subscribe to, you know, this podcast. If you're listening to this, ADDS episode on apple or if you're an android user on spotify, jump over to the Youtube Channel. You can watch us have the conversation. But, more importantly, please share this out. I'm sure there's someone in your network that could benefit from what while and I were talking about. I appreciate your attention. It means the world to me. There's so many places you can consume content in the fact you spend time with us today, that's just wonderful and, as I say at the end of every episode, you're in charge. But now why? I gave you a few more tools and strategies to help you become better, both professionally and personally, and I thank you so much and I look forward to seeing you on the next episode. Whilie again, thank you so much. You're welcome. Glenn. Thank you, take care. You too,.

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