"You're In Charge" with Glenn Pasch
"You're In Charge" with Glenn Pasch

Episode 107 · 2 weeks ago

Self Awareness & Optimized Leadership with Wylie McGraw

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

As individuals and leaders, we constantly strive to improve our performance. We read books, listen to podcasts like this or attend masterminds or conferences. All great things to help improve performance. 

But without self awareness of strengths and weaknesses, you could be building your skills on a faulty foundation. How do you know? What can you do?  

In this episode, Wylie McGraw, Combat Veteran, Star Athlete and now Performance Accelerator shares what he feels are the building blocks of being an optimized leader. He takes the audience through his journey to success and now how he works with individuals to unlock their true potential  

Exciting conversation and really tactical as well. Enjoy the conversation. 

Please don't forget to subscribe, share and rate the show!!! Thanks for the support.   

About Wylie McGraw  

Wylie is a Performance Accelerator who thrives on assisting high-performing CEOs, entrepreneurs, and public figures break through their limitations and take their performance and their business to an even higher level.  

He draws on his experience as a former star baseball pitcher, competitive bull rider, and 3-tour combat veteran to help individuals eradicate stress and push beyond their boundaries to achieve new levels of sustained success in everything they do.  

For more than a decade now, Wylie has been working one-on-one with the highest-performing professionals, from Wall Street and Hollywood to pro sports and Fortune 500 companies, helping them accelerate beyond what they ever imagined possible. Wylie believes that self-mastery can be attained by pushing way beyond your comfort levels to discover levels previously unknown to oneself.  

Connect with Wylie:  

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wyliemcgraw/

Website: https://www.wyliemcgraw.com/ 

About Glenn Pasch:   

"Everyone finds themselves in charge at some point in their lives. Yet many of us lack the skills to generate consistent results. My goal is to help you learn the skills to adapt and grow in your personal and business life.”  

Glenn Pasch is CEO of PCG Digital, a full service digital marketing agency that specializes in helping businesses create and deliver customers raving, recommending & returning for more. 

He is author of 2 books including "The Power of Connected Marketing" and has spoken and educated audiences throughout the US and internationally.     

Let’s Connect:   

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/glennpasch/​

Personal Website http://glennpasch.com/

​Company website: https://pcgdigital.com/

Support for this episode comes from P CG digital. It is anywhere from difficult to impossible to manage everyaspect of the changing digital landscape. Rather than trying to do ityourself, why not leave it to an award winning team of Digital MarketingSpecialists who have mastered it all connect your message with morepotential customers with P C G digit go to P C G Digital Com for moreinformation, as leaders or just as individuals wereconstantly looking for ways to optimize. Our performance have betterrelationships, better health, better performance at work, leading ourteam to you know new levels of success and a lot of times we're reaching outto maybe other coaches, where there's master mine programs or we're listeningto self help books all in order to achieve this new level of success. But what, if we're, not really groundedand centred ourselves? First, like we really understand our foundation, ifnot, what we're doing is we're trying all of these new things, but we'rereally not changing and that's what my guest today is sharing his philosophyof trying doesn't really work. It's about transformation. It's aboutoptimizing! Your true self and his name is Wiley McGraw. He was a professionalathlete. He was a professional bull rider as well as a soldier and over hisyears of working as a leader developing himself as a leader. He then moved into helping leadersbecome more successful, optimizing their performance, but truly the veryfirst thing is understanding who you are and what stresses you still carryaround with you that you haven't addressed, because, if we're notdealing from that position of being centered, as I said earlier, all we'redoing is trying things as a band at and nothing moves forward. So I'm reallyexcited this. This conversation was so passionate. He is one fired upindividual, but he really hones in on how to help you optimize yourself. So,let's dive into today's episode of Ur and charge conversations that sparkchange with my guest wily Magra, all right Wiley. Thank you so much forjoining me today. I'm very excited because when I got connected with youjust looking at your overview, there's a few desperate things, you know frommilitary sports and I think it's bull riding was I o riting yeah absoluter.So so, I'm sure we're going to touch on all of those to figure out how thataffects and helps leaders and what you've learned, but where I want toreally start off, because all three of them contain this idea of you know self doubt or fear of what wecan accomplish. So I'd like to jump in there to say in all of those differentareas when you were approached something new, something in some ways:Dangerous or fearful. How did you push through that in order to either getstarted or continue through to be successful? Well, first, thanks forhaving me on Glenn, I'm happy that we got the opportunity to do this and yeah.I want to let's jump into that. I realized in those very extremeenvironments that they were. They were there for me to learn how toactually stretch my own capacity be willing to embrace and yield to theunknown, even though it might be scary, UNCO, highly uncomfortable or somewhatdangerous was actually the only way we're really going to be challenged.The right way to stretch that capacity...

...and be able to create more awarenessand consequently grow and accelerate and move ourselves into another levelof our own personal performance. So those innate experiences really help mecultivate my own intuitive nature to really discern what is really beneficial to me inthose moments in those environments and versus what isn't, and that is the onlyway I was able to push through those challenges and actually take myself ashigh as I really wanted to go. So I want to make sure that that word isreally landing right now, as we start, this off is discernment, is the keykeen discernment is the key for anyone in leadership to get themselves on the path touredpeak performance. That's where you actually start to know how to identify the rightresources that you bring into your organization or in goal life. It'swhere you can really identify more optimal solutions for the problems thatyou face. It really e helps you if you will understand the difference between helping and optimizing and realizingthat the only way you're going to hit your peak and be able to sustain thatis through optimization and through optimization is where the realchallenge lies. Right that I so yeah no, it does, but to some folks listening,I'm sure, they're going to say, okay, I think he's talking about another way tophrase it is self awareness or to understand what you bring. Some peopleare going to sit there. I am sure, especially those who are new to beingin charge of something they're going to sit there and they're going to say wily.That sounds great. How do I do that? How do what do I lookat? How do I audit myself to know what I bring in terms of value, I'm justtrying to get through my day so yeah? I love it. Thatstole em pack that alittle bit try to figure out how someone would be at a checklist or a thought, sir.Where do they start sure? So, let's start with this: Let's get it out ofour minds that we need to figure out how to do that right off the bat,especially those who are in new positions of leadership. Like I said,new managers, even those that are experienced high powered leadersgetting away from the incessant need to know how everything is broken down,will actually provide you more awareness, so to speak when it comes toyour own leadership, now, HMM on packing that I want to start off withthis in the world or the landscape of high performance and leadership. Thereis no such thing as trying or dealing with anything, despite whatever we wantto believe, whatever we're taught by social norms or pressures, the the ideathat I'm going to try to figure this out or that I'm going to just deal withcertain things, as I figure things out, is kind of it's a kin to being in limboor a perker. If you will, it creates limitation, it's kind of like throwinga ton of rocks on your back and trying torun a marathon or putting a parking break on a sports car and then steppingon the gas and expecting that thing to perform at its peak. So right. Therefirst and foremost, is let's break down the idea that I need to figure out howright away and allow yourself permission to step towards thatdiscernment of the differences between, and I have this in a paper that I wrotecalled why you need to get on fucked and it's the five major contrast that you need to understand to takeyourself in your organization to the next level. So so so in. So so justwhat struck me right? There wert that idea of limbo, where an try in in letme see if I can explain this, I in trying to figure it out. You don'tfigure anything out because well, you're convincing yourself, your you'redoing thoughtful things are busy things, but it's just this idea of planning tofigure and trying it and nothing nothing's concrete moving you forwardis. It is like sort of correct where we're going: okay, absolutely in Glen,just to add to that the idea that you're going to quote try somethingprovides a level of relief and that...

...level of relief makes you feel, likeyou said, things are moving right. Fortunately, things are not moving inthe way or in the in the speed that you want them to right. We get lost in thisidea that, if I'm trying, if I'm attempting, if I am figuring things out,how I must be changing or transforming and growing, and yet we still findleaders of all calibers suffering in silence. They are still stuck in thegrind, they're still stuck in the stress of what's next. What else do Ineed to do and nobody is operating from a place of that peace, that freedom andthe knowing and bringing in the right solutions, everybody's trying to figureout the solutions, and then we never really get anywhere. That's what Iwanted to make sure that I I know that that makes see that to me. It makesthat crystal clear, and I hope everyone really understands that is that a lotof times it's. We try something without a plan and we think we're movingforward or we spend so much time by speaking to someone the other day andthey use that term death by meetings were constantly meeting to figuresomething out and nothing gets done, because no one really understands howto plan how to break down what I can bring to the situation. So we getcaught up in the illusion of effort and we're not really moving forward rightand we call I called the. I talk, call getting high on the dopamine of ofchange when, in fact nothing is really transforming. There is this level andagain, these contrasts want to go back to that quickly. That paper, these fivecontrasts- and I even have them- is first and foremost, understanding thedifference between transference and transformation and what that means foryou, the difference between helping and optimizing addition versus removal,deflection versus acceptance, and the last one is relief versus resolution.Now the biggest thing that I've noticed in the work that I've done and beingaround high powered leaders is, we are stuck in the ladder were stuck in thetransference to help the addition, the deflection and the relief, and we feelthat that is what it takes to be successful. But high performancerequires us to go far beyond that. It requires us to step into the real worldof transformation being optimized per of first personally and professionallyunderstanding that you're never going to get to where you want to go. If youkeep adding more in instead of removing what actually occupied space andaffects your ability to Porto your game, if you keep deflecting from things thatare very uncomfortable things that are very unknown to you, instead ofaccepting it regardless. If you work with the resource or you accept thatdeal or you whatever might become in your way, is understanding that in thatmoment, every opportunity has benefit and gold that you can pull from it. Youhave to discern right, but is what is actually a threat and what is actuallya benefit, but we don't have that discernment and then. Lastly, it'swe're constantly stuck in this idea that, as long as I find a relief I willgrow resolution is the key and until you can get that keen, disern in placeand get on the path towards that peak performance. That is where realresolution and real world results can show up for you to actually changesyour direction and transforms you and your company, and your leadership andpower now see see that I love. I love that break down, becauseespecially the relief and resolution just because some ring is over. You know be it oh, that meeting or thatconversation or boy that I can't that day it's over and we're relieved, butdid anything, and I love that idea- did anything really change or is tomorrowjust going to be another version of the same thing and will be relieved whenthat day is over but R, not but six months from now we're going to lookback and say we're still in the same place or we're dealing with the samefrustrations instead of really embracing, as yousaid, embracing this idea of, we have...

...to change and change his transformation.I mean something has to be different. We have to think it through. We have toplan and your point we have to can't keep deflecting, we have to focus wehave to embrace and that that's. That really is true leadership, because youare willing to face those. You known face the uncomfortable, face theunknown and be willing to set sail and say that's where we're going based onall of our data based on our resources, based on what our experience is. Here'swhere we're going and we commit to it doesn't mean we can't change, and Iknow, of course, is back to what your first conversation was. Is that we wantto plan everything out and know how it's going to end before we get startedright, that's not life! Well and that's. The thing is we look at at I've noticedthis. This is the world of personal development leadershipdevelopment. We are constantly bombarded with all of these programssteps, processes and systems. We as human beings are so afraid, truly ofthe unknown. The white space. The ambiguity as I call it that we getcaught up in the idea that everything needs to be broken down into steps sothat we can actually evolve, but, unfortunately, what happens- and thisis through my experience from being a a star athlete to a bull writer to acombat veteran and then beyond, working with high powered leaders for selfmastery and peak performances, understanding that we are dynamic,complex beans, the sting of who we are and howwell we live. Our lives actually directly impacts, our performance andour ability to succeed. The idea that we can chase money and popularity firstas a means to look like we're successful is why we are all watchingin the world around us feel and stay limited steps are necessary to acertain degree, but when it comes to your performance and how you show up asa leader, optimization holistically getting tothat place of real resolution, resolving eradicating chronic stressthat has plagued you, your entire life that craves those undetectable patternsof doubt, fear and consciousness. That is how you get on to the path and mapout bowling past your limits. If you will like, I know, that's one of thethings that we discussed already was: How do we map this out? Well, startwith the discernment understand that, when something comes into your life,when the kind of resources you bring into your world feel very uncomfortableand very challenging, you need to sit in that for a moment and discernwhether or not they are a threat or they're actually an asset, and that iswhere you get on to the right path to to be able to discern which way to goand watch your leadership grow. But we have people that are stuck in this ideathat if it doesn't look the same, it doesn't feel the same. If it's you knowslightly uncomfortable, then this must be the thing I need and then we neverreally see people living their life as the way they portray themselves inpublic right right, right, yeah. That makes sense. So, let's, let's, let'sdive in and pile you've used a words a few times optimizing. So when you sayto someone or you sitting across for someone or me we're having ourconversation, read you're, saying: okay, optimization of yourself, be it yourlife, Your Business, your personal, when you start talking throughoptimization, what does that mean? What does it? What what are the things thatyou're looking at in order to to, as you said, sit withit and embrace it and discern when you say optimized curt, explain that alittle bit well consider the difference between being helped, the the power andthe energy behind that word, help versus the power and energy behindoptimize. You can already feel it when you even say it out loud riter's, ahuge difference between the two and that's. Why that I have another paper,it's on the home page of my website called helping versus optimizing, andit's why leaders are wasting their life chasing peak performance instead ofMastrat. Now, when you- and I are talking about optimization, I'm talkingabout holistically looking at every aspect of your life like there'ssomething you shared with me previously...

...before we get on here- was health.That's one of those components of who we are that leaders especially like tooverlook and because they don't see any value in their health because they areso addicted to the grind and because they are addicted to that grind. Theother aspects of their life. They're willing to sacrifice so that they canmake that bottom line grow, so they can feel like they've accomplishedsomething right. So when I say optimize, I'm talking about going into your lifeand and being aware of and eradicating every aspect that is not acceleratingyou and and getting you to the place you choose and want to be it's not it'skind of like my health is suffering. My relationships are in turmoil. My kids,don't listen to me. Yep, I'm worth a billion dollars, yet I'm popular andpeople know about me right. I'm considered a real leader. Well to me,that's not real leadership, because if you are suffering in silence behind thecurtain, why would anyone want to emulate that truly right? What kind oflegacy do you want to leave as a manager, a leader, etcetera, sooptimization is all about you bringing in the right outside force. That knowshow to get into the trenches with you to truly eradicate every aspect of yourunresolved stress, the blind spots that have developed over the years ofcompensation with those stresses you just quote, dealing with things rightand that that is where you can actually elevate your performance and experienceit on a daily basis. It's kind of like with the athletes I work in the past.They call it being in the zone. Well, imagine what it would be like to be inthe zone every moment of every day, knowing how to tap into all youreventual watching our relationships, thrive, feeling at peace and feelinglike you can accomplish anything. You put your mind to and despite what comesyour way, you know how to manage it rather than just deal with it. Sothat's what optimizations all about! Is You holistically being UN fucked ifyou're not well, your leadership is limited and you're only going to takeso many of the people you lead so far, yeah. That makes me now that clarifiesit. For me, I hope for the audience as well at me too, especially the pointabout health, because one, I think people assume they're,always going to be healthy. Righthe short change, the that this this body.I need this body to be present. I needed to be functioning well to bepresent for my team for my relationships, whoever and then also it is. You know there isthis idea of being busy right. I interviewed agentleman Garland Vance who wrote a book called getting unbusy, because Isaid you know being busy. Is this badge of honor now, and so everyone is toyour point, everyone, let's everybody up at three o'clock or five o'clock orI have to work seventeen hours and look. I have all these things where we startbelieving it even even I fell into it for a while of well, because there's always somethingto do right where you own a business. There's always something to do. You canalways work, but is that really what you should be doing to your point is?But if I'm with my family, I'm not really present, because I'm over herethinking of something else- and I and his idea was very similar to yours,where it's the removal. Remove these things because they're, you know justbeing busy for busy's sake- is not really getting you where you want to beas not health is impacted. Well, you got to go to the core of that.First and foremost, it's honestly crazy. It seems so remedial tome because health is absolute priority. There's s only one way, I'm going to bethe best possible performance accelerator for leaders is if I livethat life. If I truly hold up the highest standards- and I show up everysingle moment every day- living what it is, I'm telling leaders they can have,then I'm going to really transform their lives and get them to the top oftheir game and then get out of their way. So they can go off and keep havinga bigger impact. But absolutely if, if...

I'm suffering with my health and mywife and I are not getting along- and you know, I'm not taking care of my dogand all of these things around me are crumbling because I have not beenwilling to face or address them, then then, at the end of the day, I have nobusiness going out to the world and doing the work that I do period. Andyet we compensate that's a key word. Is people compensate with their lifeexperiences their TRAUMAS, their stresses? They suppress them and theyfeel they can overlook them, sweep them one the rug and they can hack their wayby pass, circumvent and compartmentalize themselves to a levelof success that they, like you said: We've become accustomed to it and usedto it and we've made it the norm so that anything outside of that thatchallenges. It sounds weird different and like wrong, and right, I'm sayingis like no. At the end of the day. How well you live? Your life does directlyimpact your ability to perform and that performance is what creates the byproducts of your monetary success. Your notoriety and your ability to grow yourbusiness and go back to this last point Glen, and I want you r audience to hearthat you said it was the idea that I'm busy I'm busy as a badge of honor. Ifyou really pull yourself back and you look at it from the the more the macroview or the fivty thousand foot like overview of it, you really see thatpeople that are stuck in the grind that are busy there is a an avoidance there.They are trying to get away from something there's this level again ofcompensation to one side of the spectrum and they're creatingunwittingly this world of busy around them to not feel something that mightbe going on in their life. Men especially are culprits to that. We'retaught suck it up and deal with it get over it already, and those are theunresolved stresses that literally occupy space. They fester within us andthey directly create live wires that attract into our lives, things that arein total opposition to what we say we want, and then we wonder why thingsaren't working out as oftenly as we want them to be. So then we chase aftermore and more relief, more grind and keep pushing pushing pushing and webreak things around us and that's why our world crumbles. That's whyleadership fails and why societies fall apart and people are in factionsfighting against each other is because our leaders are not living the lifethey're telling other people to live. That's what all about yeah no, and Ithink that that that's spot on and what happens is if you don't take the timeto audit to really sit down. As you said, optimizing you're going to end up end of your life end of your journeywherever you are or a period of time, and look at it and say I'm incompletely the wrong direction. Absolutely I base to your point: IsI've broken everything? I've lost everything or I'm just not happy I'veconvinced myself. I keep working hard at a bad process and all of a suddenI'm way away from where I wanted now time. I've wasted time. So I think what I think is really incredible aboutthis conversation is at any moment in time. You have permission to stop toabsolutely to optimize and pivot. If you have to, or at least start to planto pivot, to say my health isn't what it should be, I'm going to work downthis road. This isn't where I want it to be. I can start making changes, butyou have to take that first step to sit there and and and and that you've saida couple times and I love it is you have to sit in it and you have to feelit got to be comfortable and the discomfort, because that's no wayanything actually grows well, because then your body is really changing. Youversorand your mind, can convince you of a lot of things of course finallyfeel it like. Like you said you tamp it down enough. Eventually it's going toblow and that's when you really feel it and then then that's change. Yeah!Absolutely absolutely- and I want it to your point I want to Tony. She rememberthe Zappos founder, he's a prime example of the type of quote a leaderas we look at him nowadays, but...

...understanding I've run around in someof the circles that he was in and, unfortunately Tony compensated, so muchthat he in despite his massive fortune, his massive success and business. Hewas unhappy and didn't know how to find peace within. So he would hate peopleto be around him to portray that transference of happiness so that hecan somewhat feel a little bit high on that and feel like he's actuallyexperiencing life. The way he really at the core wanted experience it, butnobody in his circle knew what to do with them, and this is a problem that Isee with high powered leaders, especially I mean managers. Youraudience is listening. Is it doesn't matter who you are no matter? What yourcapacity is it all matters is when you have the right resources or peoplearound you who are willing to actually get you to face those demons, as I callthem and really do something about it, rush you through them, so you canbattle them head on and eradicate them. Then you can actually experience what Icall acceleration and when I call transformation not just transference,you can go to a huge seminar and feel excited jumping around with people andfeel like you're getting somewhere, but that's just getting high on the energyof that environment. That's no! Transforming your life. Thetransformation I'm talking about is the ugly dark truth that people try attemptto overlook and ignore so Tony Sha was a prime example of that, and the manunfortunately created a scenario on which he died, because he just couldn'tfigure out who he was. He didn't know how to be in a relationship to himself,and he didn't know where I who power was derived from so he compensatedconstantly and despite the fact that he had a seven hundred million dollar networth and he grew one of the biggest companies in the world. That is not alegacy, if you're any type of leader who do values the legacy you want toleave. That is not something to emulate and it takes someone who's willing towalk towards the most uncomfortable things, to truly take their game toanother level and lead by example. Yes, yeah and- and that was such a tragic.It was very tragic because the company he's built was so focused on taking care of people, and Iresolving situations and listening and spending as much time as you need tohave a conversation to understand by his company was built on understandingrighters. For some reason he could not heeren himself, so he surroundedhimself with the illusion and people and had people on payroll to basicallycater to him or just have fun with him. He just tried to see if I could fund my way out of this depressionright and I just couldn't it just couldn't do broken up. Yeah broke emyeah. I did so so. Let's talk about you sent me a video and I'll yes upI'll link it up in the show notes as well fascinating thing about the idea offear and and stress yes, that that sits in our life. So I'd like to pivot alittle bit because we're all dealing with this idea of stress a lot fromwhat we talked about earlier. The lock to do we're very busy were if we are ina leadership position, we have more responsibility. We may not have theskill set right now, so it's a little fake until I make it- and hopefully Iget through- I mean it- I'm getting stressed just thinking about it, so weright n you're talking about this idea of stress and how to deal with it andhow to work your way through it not ignore it right like we said we don'twant to ignore it right. So walk me through that your or thought on stressand facing and working through it. I love. I would love to you and youraudience, and I want this is a very valid valid topic to discuss and I willshare with this in the world. I let me back up here. Iwas born into this world with a specific type of of Super Power,people or gift, and I didn't understand it as a kid. I didn't realize andunderstand why I was the bearer of...

...everyone stress everyone's constantlydumping it on here's wily he's the place for me to take it right all right,as I was an athlete in performing and being coached by the pros, I grew roundproval players. My Dad, who just was incessant with my perfection, is withmy arm and become a pitcher. The outside stress of my family dynamicstarted to break me and it really drove me into wanting to push past what wasexpected of me and find out who I really was as a man. So I'm going toshare this story quickly, so we can get to that. That fear and stress you justasked about, and that is where the world of Rodeo came knocking and Iintuitively at some degree felt like I needed to go there, and when I did, Ibroke away from that family dynamic. Thatexpectation my dad placed on me. It pissed them all off, and that was okay.I did it anyway, because I started to feel alive. I started to feeling anunleashing of who I really was this wild warrior that I knew was inside me,but was being suppressed by my family. I was made wrong for it, so I waspushed into this place of being more reserved, even though I was moreassertive and it was it was, it was punished. So when I got into that world,I bullring it ignited. This new found awareness of myself and I realized thereal world challenges that scare me or where I'm really going to grow andexpand my capacity now I started to under and start to figure out. Okay,let me understand the differences in stress and how they do affect myability to perform in these environments, and it wasn't until I gotinto the military, and I became a comment. Infantryman and I went toAfghanistan was my second tour. My first tour was a coast of all. Mysecond tour was Afghanistan, and when I went to Afghanistan, I started to leadmen. I started to really experience. It's almost like this awareness to whatstress really is the and the two types we actually experience and live with ona daily basis as human beings, so that video I sent you, I discovered incombat in the most chaotic of situations, this early calm, nature ofmyself in those situations and moments where I was able to identify wise blindspots quickly. I was able to move my men into better performance and betteraction. Our missions were accomplished much more efficiently and I realizedthat there's only two types of stress we actually experience in life- and Icall one chronic stress- and I call the other acute stress- The chronic inacute stresses- are tied together. The acute stresses that you experience justlike the word acute is short term. Are the life experiences that keephappening to you, no matter how much you think you have things under controlor figured out period. They just reoccurring situations that are notoptimal for yourself and your organization, your performance, yourlife and those acute stresses are tied into the chronic stresses of life'sexperiences. Those are those stresses that you have had through familydysfunction, trauma chaos, pain, suffering that you have not reallyeradicated. You've not faced like we talked about right and those chronicstresses will occupy space in your mind, they will occupy space in youenergetically and unconsciously, and they will fester and they will createacute stresses or situations that keep happening in your life and until youaddress them and face them and eradicate them. You are going toexperience that up and down roller coaster of your experience. So Idiscovered that in combat- and I wanted to further explore that, because what Irealized was we have, what's normal stress in life being a leader runningcompanies taking care of people. High responsibility is going to bring aboutwhat we consider a stress, but when you have learned to manage your innervolatility first and you understand the differences between those stressesthose acute and chronic stresses, and you eradicate the chronic ones, youwill realize that no matter what situation comes your way, you know howto manage it and turn it into an asset for your performance for your team'sfunction, for your leadership development. Instead of its beingsomething that causes you to go back to. What we talked about is chasing reliefon a daily basis, who I'm done with hot...

...one. Thank all right. What that's? Thatis not how anyone should be living their life period. So I discovered that-and I created that little video on purpose. So I wanted people to reallysink their teeth into understanding those two types, so they can reallystart navigating and discerning what is really stressful for themselves andwhat is just something that they have basically harbored, that they have notaddressed, and when you can identify those keen differences, you'll see thatyour life will change in ways that you least expect it. So I hope that Aranswers the question yeah so so so what I'm hearing is the chronic onesare just either behavior or some, as you said, stress, something that wecarry with us all the time and it may be low level or whatever, but maybeit's a family. The way to your point, how you always have behaved with thefamily or how you're seen in your family or your group of friends oryou're coming, and you feel this behavior and stress up. Well, I'm goingto work- and I have to put on this face or I'm over here and I put on this faceright and it's it's you just you never feel like. You can be the real you, butit's this constant, almost like a jacket I have to put onwhen I'm heading into a certain situation, the acute one it sounds likeyou're, never going to get rid of those, because that's just life and stimulusand something that's coming at you all the time. Well, the you acute. If Iwill, the cute, the cute stresses, will tranto transform around you becauseyou've dealt with the chronic stress, so that's why I say that on expresscreates the acute stress, yeah, yeah, so you're, the what I'm hearing is, ifI can level out or dress or confront or put put to bed, so to speak these someof these chronic ones. I become more myself on some of those acute stressesthat were popping up were tied to the chronic, but this way, if otherstressful situations come you're more in control of it, one because you'vedealt with other bigger stresses. But more importantly, is you just are in a more whole place as yourself to be able todeal with this is. Is You become fully right? You become fully aligned withwho you are at the core. It's an UNNEETA experience because it doesn'tmean that, as I run my multiple seven figure business, I'm not going toexperience as I work with these type of leaders, I'm always interacting withthe the kind of stress that comes with it, but I realize that this is not mine,and I understand because I am in alignment with whom I am at the core. Ihave eradicated my chronic stresses. I do live a life of optimization thatwhen this happens, I know how to utilize it as an asset for my abilityto support those leaders. So they do the same thing. So the fear that isbirthed from stress that has not been faced or resolved is what creates thosepatterns of doubt and consciousness when it comes to leadership, despitewhat might be a convincing factor in our own minds that oh no, this is justa normal cost of being human and the normal costs. Yes, it's like Eli'llgive you an example, Glenae and your audience to Elon Musk, despite what wesee and what we feel about him as a man and what he has been able to do. I donot deny his genius, however. I can see the truth of what's really going onwith them. That's just what I that's my gift and what I'm able to do and why Ido what I do is if Elon Musk would have addressed the abuse and him beingbullied as a kid and actually done something about that stress that stillplagues him. To this day, we would not see the ups and downs with him when itcomes to himself as a public figure. We would not consider what he is doingwhen it comes to battling other billionaires in the way he does in theway he talks and kind of throws. He these digs on twitter etc. Right we'renot. We would not reward that and celebrate. That is. Oh, that's, just abillionaire guy who's! Amazing, because he's transforming the role. Imagine whoElon Musk would actually be if he was fully optimized and completely resolved.We probably would be on Saturn or in another galaxy by now, because he'sjust brilliant but he's, but we're...

...gilling with this up and down andconstant back and forth, and we're watching these billionaires battle eachother, because they're just unfortunately unresolved little boyswho have never really done anything to Loll. But do you think part of theirsuccess is from not resolving certain thing? No bastey still have that edgewhere they're going I'm going to prove you wrong. I don't know I let you knowwhat that's the unfortunate part about leaders. We think that we're going touse our pain in our stress to build our empires but think about what happens iswhen you build your empire on the back of chaos and stress you're, going toinfect the people that follow you and people are only going to get so farperiod. It doesn't. We can fight that all day. Long Right, they have created,quote success, but why do we use money and notoriety as a benchmark of whatsuccess is supposed to look like? Why are we looking at who? The hell is theperson and how well are they living their life and what are therelationships like? Do? I want to emulate somebody who's, just like aspite bull, human being, who just got a bunch of money and did a bunch of stuffthat again great he, he built something that the masses by so, if you have thea hundred million people buying a twenty dollar product, of course,you're going to make a ton of money right. What is the quality of you inyour leadership role? How is that actually in affecting or impacting asuch lead, and I want to shift that paradigm and start challenging peoplewhen they think about leadership and success and realize that the money andnotoriety are by products of alignment. It does not Rigan you're a good person.We have narcissis that run companies and organizations and countries who areliterally just because they have something in public eye. We go. Oh lookat that that that's got to be really good. That's got to be strong. I wantthat too, and I'm going to stop trying to be like that and start focusing onyou and finding out where your power is derived from find out who you reallyare at the court and lead from that position. That's why I bring them up no,and I think that's I you know and and the reason I pushed back is that's because that'swhere people are going to say, of course, I agree with you is that we arein a it's always happened and we've alwaysheld people up on pedestals because of the image that was presented. You knowit could be right movie stars in the S and t who had you know you saw what waspresented, but they had horrible lives. There were Har people, they all thisdysfunction, but again and we are in a society whereit's really quick, you know instagram life and you look at all of what I haveand, and I love what you're talking about- is that the more centered youcan be on? You doesn't mean that you won't achieve, but who cares? If youhave everything and you look around and nobody's there with you or you'remiserable as you I love, the thing you said is that you've just brokeneverything along the way everything is just demolished ran. Yes, you W one. Ihave ex whatever on the bank account I want, but I turn around and go. Oh. Ihave no one to share it with I'm not fulfilled I'm not healthy, mentallyphysically or whatever. What I really love about this conversation is thatidea of you know it all starts with you and you have to make that decision fromto say I want to resolve some of this. I want to know why do I want to have alife full of stress and argument and fight and a mean that to me just it's just feel so unhealthy yeah that,but so why are we doing that? Why are we celebrating that and Sing Glen? Whyare we celebrating and going you know what I'm just going to deal with that?Well, guess what you that's, not high performance, true high performanceright! Is You eradicating and not dealing with those aspects of of lifethat feels stressful? Why do we consider that something to achievewhere we go? You know, as long as I can basically hold it back and justaccomplish ex over here I'll be good...

...and I've met so many public figures.I've had dinners with here like no I'm pretty, I'm good where I'm at it's likereally because I can see the pain in your face. I can see how you'resuffering, but yet, when your face was something that's challenging you that'swhen you clam up and your ego comes out and goes no, no, no, I'm going to whereI'm at look. Who I am it's like you get caught up in this like right, this,this facade of vanity and false, almost a false leadership and P, and you think,because you have all these millions of people kind of Gawking at you that arebasically the masses. But it's like look at the Leggies, like you said. Ifyou look around our politicians, especially look at the chaos they leavein their wake sure. What are we doing? Why, if your decisions are notuplifting, people and things are not healing and growing, and transformingand feeling optimal and people are in peace and and everything is feelinggrowing and moving in the right direction. Then there's clearlysomething wrong with you, not things outside of you and I've met. So manypeople in positions of power and influence that think when things arebroken around them, it's everything outside of them. It's never them. No, no and a lot of times. It's becausewe're measuring the EMETIC, and it's not about how you got there. It's didyou win or lose. You know I I remember dealing with sales people when I wouldrun to rooms they would be. I would go, Oh my God, but they there their answer.When I said we have to change this there, their default was, but did yousee my numbers? Did you see what I sold? You see how good I'm doing I'm going,but no. This is not the way we need to look at my numbers or you're, not doingthe look of my numbers and to the point is we celebrate the numbers, we're notcelebrating how we got there, what the person is? It's just Oh, look at allthe things they have and yet they're the there they're just they're, notoptimized, like your sad right, there's a constant addiction to accumulationand when Poitou ulate they are a compensating an overlooking really thetruth in the back of their mind, despite what their ego might say, Iknow people that are listening to this leaders that might end up. You knowrunning into this conversation, will here and go yeah at the core. I knowthat I'm not living my best life, but then, when we get around the circles ofinfluence that we're in and around people that have success at a higherlevel than us or others that are emulating or looking up to us, it'slike we switch on a different person like you said earlier right and then weoperate from that place, and then we go back home and were like. Oh, I stillfeel like nothing, I'm not fulfilled and fully satisfied. Why do I feel aswell? Let me just keep adding numbers to my books. Let me just keep rowingthe bole play. Let me ten X and twenty x, my business, that's what we compareif you think about right. The image just you had is like the business meeting of conference and whatevery Bonis comparing what they have. What are your numbers? What do you have?Where did you go vacation? What did you do and it seems that that's what we'resharing, especially down to our workers, our employees or people on our team orchildren, that it's all about accumulation of things things outsideof our sercies right versus really being able to center yourself and say:I still can have things sure: that's, okay, but along the way it. How arepeople talking about me? How do I want them todeal to feel about me? What is I love the word that you use a couple timeshis legacy. You know why aren't we sell it? If I will I'mTart Interruptin, O G, I why don't we start shifting the mindset around what wecelebrate as success? Why don't we actually start celebrating self masteryas as the highest level of success and realize self mastery is feels verydaunting because it means you have to battle through anything and everythingthat you have not addressed period, and...

...until you do that you will neverachieve that level of self mastery that at the core, you really want that'speak performance. So why an we start celebrating that together and realizethat the more we can get to that level of self mastery, the more we can geteven new managers that are listening on that path towards it and people thatare at the top or in the middle. It doesn't matter where you're at get tocelebrating that do that first, that means slow down just enough so that youcan be present with that type of optimization and then understand yourbottom line, your money, your fame, your notoriety, whatever you desire,will actually become exponential and highly sustainable. You think, becauseyou made ten million dollars last year, you did it imagine if you want, youwant to be a hundred million dollars and then that's your desire. What itwould be like to actually attain that at a much faster rate, because you haveachieved self mastery and realize that when you are in that position ofoptimized power, what you can create, there's no limits to it, yeah what it? What and a way to sort of wrapthis section up here or what it sounds to me and it just like flashed in myhead. Is it's like fine tuning, a car right? Ifyou tune it, you can go faster. You know training for an athlete, as youwere an athlete they train, so they don't have to think, but they canaccelerate and what I really like about that image of slowing down for a momentto assess, what's going on, to find tune yourself, get rid of some of thebaggage like address the baggage, that's weighing you down fromacceleration, because, yes, I could go attain the ten million dollars, butit's a hell of a struggle. I don't! May Not even realize how hard it is for me,but if all of a sudden I stop all of a sudden, I can really accelerate becauseI'm aligned right it I'm not being dragged down, and I think that's soimportant for everyone. Who's listening is allowing yourself while he's givingyou permission to stop for a moment, and I do that assessment for yourselfand and be willing to face the struggle of addressing any of that. That stress,that's bogging, you down and making it, because once you get on the other side,the lightness you will feel the ability to see clearer move faster is whereyour potential can be in exactly that. That's amazing! If you get to thatplace, your potential is not something to a chase or try to accomplish. Wehear it. We get sold on all these programs. Yea Hundreds of billions ofdollars is spent in personal development every year, banking, on theidea that we are in this never ending process of development. We're alwaysgoing to need to seek more, and you know UN least more am all these coachesnow are on at least you're potential, or not even at least they just useunlock our potential tappin your potential, I'm saying right and you canactually accelerate get to the top of your game and always have access toyour potential without effort you just it will be there as a fuel source touse, like you said, a fine ton car performing at the top of its it's inits prime is where you want to be. We can get there sooner than we think wejust have to be willing to face and and yield to the unknown into the fear ofthe unknown and realized. That is where our true power potential lies. Is thatalignment that clarity, that balance and that optimization and and to yourpoint and is if these, if people are listening to your show here- and theywere my my soldiers and I was leaving them or training them getting them prepfor combat. I was with the hundred first Airborne Division, the one of themost prestigious United States Army divisions in the world as a cometinfantry leader, and I would tell them this first and foremost so matters is.We got to learn how to crawl walk, run. Slow is smooth smooth as fast and thenfast becomes lethal, but what we have...

...have happened in our societies.Everybody was just trying to be lethal, they don't they. They overlook, what'snecessary to get to that place of Orazai. So it's like slow down enoughwhere the slower you become the smoother you perform and when you be,are a performing at a very smooth pace. You'll see that your results areexponential and they become even more abundant for you. You'll find that yourpresence alone inspires your employees, your staff, your team, whatever labels,we give the people that work for us, you inspire them by your state of being,first and foremost long before you open your mouth right. That aspect is whatkeeps and retains high quality talent, as we see right now. What's going onthis math exod is of people leaving jobs because they don't feel valued isbecause the leaders are constantly thinking that everything outside of ofthem is the problem and they're not slowing down to realize that. Maybe I'min the culprit here and how I'm living my life and how I'm showing it up iswhat's pushing all of my talents away from me. I've never seen more things onLinkedin, since I join linkin businesses offering massive salaries topull people I shore for them, I'm going Holy Mackerel. Where was that at when Iwas in high school like exactly you, don't have that anymore so again, beingbehind this teen for thirteen years without a web presence was on purpose,because I only wanted to focus on optimizing specific leaders getting outof their way and just being passed on and move along, and let because for meit's not about getting hooked into someone else's stuff, it's aboutfinding out who you are and how you're going to lead. Others, that's what Icare about and if a leader can step back in wait a minute. Let me realizethat, what's going on again go back to our earlier conversation is chaotic andpeople are leaving it in droves. Maybe I got to stop and realize I have notunfunded first and until I get there, I'm always going to experience.Unfortunately, these acute stresses that keep happening to me, yeah, thatis that is powerful and that's such a great place to sort of land and wrapthis up, because I just listening to that makes so muchsense, because if I just think of the people who have inspired me leaders,I've learned from work, they moved a different way through the world. Theyseemed always in control. When stress was around them, they got slower, notfaster right, and you know I read there's an author that I love Jack Carr,who writes you know, and he talks always about that. Slow, you know,smooth, you know slow Y, smooth and smooth is great and smooth as fast. Youknow he talked the same way from the soldiers perspective, but I learnedthat because those leaders never seem frenetic, they assess they trustthemselves because they know themselves right. I think that's a really a great goal for all of us is the more grounded.We can be the slower everything moves, we're in more control, but then, whenwe want to accelerate, we can really can and to your point, it becomes lethal in a way, meaning that I does. Ijust am there quick fast and I can accomplish what I need to do and as allof a sudden, everyone goes how to hell. Did that happen and that's in spar andthat's very inspirational for people because they go wow. This person isoptimizing every aspect of what we're doing I want to. I want to make surethat I'm people want to work for the value of that relationship with a team,the organization first long before money. We all know that. So I want toadd to your point here. Real quick is the only way that people are going toin fact will pass. Their limits is if they actually embrace the type ofresources they've been able to discern that are unconventional, indifferentfrom what they're used to, because I know that I'm not for everyone. Iunderstand that. However, when people are listening that want to be able tofind those solutions in those resources is going back to that keen discernment,understanding that if you can start here, you'll find that you'll attractor pull in you'll find and look for the resources that actually serve you andfar, what's proper for you not something you lean on and follow fromthem, but for you that challenges you...

...because bowing past your limits movingthrough all these unresolved stresses requires that outside force. That knowshow to hold you in it and hold you accountable to it and what I'veexperienced Glen. You probably can agree with this. I'm sure you have inyour experiences most leaders like to higher resources that they can stillsomewhat control there on Il this Unterliegen. Oh, I feel uncomfortablemy resources, my my coach, my brain coach, my you know my advisor et Ceteraand I've seen them constantly, I'm like yeah, but you're still in a levelcontrolling them and they're, not really getting you the best results,because you still have your hooks in them and when you can get a resourcethat you are surrendered to and trust and realize that they were there for areason to really push you far beyond your own limits. You'll see thateverything radically evolves much more efficiently for you and that's wherethat slowest smooth smooth as fast comes into there's no way. I was evergoing to be an expert marksman. If I try to rush the trigger squeeze where Itry to rush the site picture, I had to learn of how to control my breathing,no matter what the stress was around me. Take that Inter volatility and eualineit for an asset, and that's why I was always lethal with my weaponsmarksmanship combat et Cetera, because I took that and I optimized who I wasas a soldier and that's what it takes to be a bet. The best leader possibleright, yeah and- and I think to your point- excuse me when you when you, if you're just hiring resources they can, if you don't, if you don'tstart from a place of really understanding who you are, what you'redoing is hiring resources like band ads for things that you say absolutely butyou're not really getting down to that core, because once you do embrace thatcore and say okay, this is who I am and here's some of the struggles I have toface. The resources will show up, but they'll, be the right resources to feltthe right problem versus just another Banda just another program, justanother audio book or whatever. It is yeah. Think about here. Here's I'llgive you an exact two examples: real quick just to kind of close. That upsure is. I I've been behind the scenes. I'm considered quote a no name correct,like nobody really knows. I exist until now, I'm starting to come out to theworld, because I'm tired of seeing how leaders are destroying our ortherdistorting it right. Consider the fact that I have worked with professionalathletes. I have worked with celebrities. I've worked at Hollywoodexecutives. I've worked with hedge fund managers fortune five hundredexecutives. I've worked with a rate of leaders on purpose is because, whensomebody sees the results of me being in their life and they go, I don't carewho that guy is. I don't care what his name is. I don't care what he's a youknow what he has done out in the public. What I care about is look at how he'soptimized my friend, my colleague, I want that for myself. That is why Ihave been so successful is because how I live my life, how I show up my myunique super power being able to irrup those unresolved stresses that areunderneath the surface of those leaders and get them to start feeling andfacing these things and watching the performance. Transform is why they havebeen turned on and why they say yes to it, and those are the types of leadersthat I'm out in the world saying: Hey, I'm here if you're looking for that, itdoesn't matter what your resource your resource, doesn't have to be ahousehold name. It's all about discerning like. I can feel somethingunique and different with this resource that I know I need that's going toreally push and college me and I'm not going to waste my time, energy andmoney year, an in your out. I met a guy who were a tech guy works, for, I think,an energy company years ago in San Diego and said man, I'm spending amillion dollars a year on these executive coaches. For my staff, my twothousand people, but none of them are really getting any results. I'm saywell you're blowing through a million bucks a year in your bottom line forsome some coaches, that don't really know how to coach your people and yeahare still doing it. Why? I don't have any other option. These are apparentlythe recommended best coaches for my industry and what I do so I'm justdealing with, and I'm like right. There he's like Ye crap like. Why are youdealing with that's, not high performance, you're, a an executive andan energy company responsible for two thousand people and yet you're blowingthrough a million dollars a year? Let's end this endless cycle of sacrifice,suffer and pain and get you to where...

...you want to go, so that your people canup level their game and your then you can have all the by products you wantof, but new line et CE, more profits, more power whatever it is. You desirecomes from that place. First, exactly I love that love that love that so great,so man see I love these conversations time to s. This has been so powerful,so exciting. So, first off again I appreciate youbeing here so it Hap with every episode we just sort of wine things down with afew few questions just to get people to go, who all right? Let's e, let's let'ssay, answer a couple things so just five random questions. I call them theone, because this way you just one answer that pops into your head justOddo questions off. So we'll just dive writing. So you talk about your you know, healthand all the rest of that and living that good life. So then, what's the onefood that you just can't live without that sort of your cheap food that mayfall outside of your super healthy lifestyle? My cheat food that fallsoutside you know what I am a scotch single malt, Scotch connosser lashenthusiasts. I don't think I m that far in a conoscere yet, but I really enjoymaybe a one ounce, one and a half ounce poor once a week, it's kind of likethat's the thing outside of I don't. I am very high standers with my diet, soI love my vegetables. I eat, based on what my body wants my body type. Iunderstand how to test for what is sensitivities at allergies etc, and Inever wavered no matter what is around me, but that one little thing is thatsingle Malt Scotch I like to have a little drink once a week and sis alittle bit O in a personal thing, absolutely okay, so where in the world,would you like to travel next that you haven't been to yet where in the world wil I home a man I'min thirty countries in the military, but I never got to experience themoutside of that. But, honestly I want I want to go back to where my grandmother came from, and that wasScotland I'd love to go, spend a month in Scotland, maybe two months overthere and just explore. That's that I went there for about a week years ago,in the highlands and drove through and just one wonderful people beautiful, alittle spooky in certain areas, you sure, when you're in island they said.Oh, you feel the spirits I said. Oh, I felt them. Definitely No! What's theone thing that you are reading listening to, watching that isinspiring you that you'd like to share with the eligit reading watching andlistening to that's inspiring me. You know I just bought the book, theart of War. Now I practiced ancient martial arts, so I figured you knowwhat I have not read that book and I'm cracking it open this weekend. So Iwould say: That's something I you we can touch base on again. Okay, so I'mabout to dive into that. But I feel like it's just such a unique book andmany of my clients have read it and ever rait with me. So now I finallybought it and it's in my library right now get ready to crack it open. Okay,we like that if I gathered all of your very closefriends and family together and ask them to describe you with one word,what would the one word you think they would use to describe you wow one word to describe me: That's avery complex question. They would all say that I'm fairly intense, that wouldbe the word I'm in Tex, okay, I I can. I can see that I'm Conia now that'sgood, okay, so last question: We've talked about a lot of things andcovered a lot of different topics, and the information is just so wonderful,but if you wanted to make sure that the audience took one thing away from ourconversation, what would that one thing be? An optimized leader transforms theworld and unresolved one distorts it. That's what I want that. I want them tosit with that and realize what that actually entails and means is, whenyou're an optimized version of yourself,...

...you actually can transform the worldaround you. If you don't you're going to distort it. HMM, that is that's. Ilove that that is fantastic, break tinges great, listen, Sir Wiley! Thankyou so much for a brother, I'm so glad we connected and that you came here. I were with the audience where they canconnect with you. I know that you said you're coming out now from the woodworkand the house seems to so. Where can people connect with you online,socially or website? Where can they the connect yeah absolutely time to erupt?com is a forty link to my website, Wiley Magram, that's where they canreally delve into just connecting the more into my philosophy andunderstanding of high performance and leadership development. They can readthat paper, helping versus optimizing or why you need to get UN fucked orboth. They should read both highly recommend that but times or UPOM, and you and I areconnected on Linkedin, so Lindon Ford, slash, wile macra and I want to sharethis as well- is that I know that people are listening tothis. There are there might be. There might be this idea that there's Wiley'sproviding me this information and then there's going to be some form of, likeI guess, protocol, and how to connect with them and at the end of the day,Glen. I am not. My work is not a program and it's not a process. It'snot a system. I don't do sales funnels, I don't do click baits. I don't doemail list. What I care about is real world conversation for people to havethe capacity and have the desire for optimization. So if you feel compelledand you reach out and connect, you can pick up the phone and literally call medirectly and we can have a real world conversation and just exploreregardless word that might take us. That's why I put myself out there lovethat love the help to folks. Please take Wiley up on his offer. Again I trynot to have people on the show that are, like you said all of a sudden they'rein a funnel and hey. You know, program and rest of that. I I market for aliving and it annoys the help. I bet you do. I tally understand yeah soagain. Thank you. So much for me welcome brother, thank you, and soeveryone out there again. Please make sure you subscribe to. You know thispodcast. If you're listening to this ED episode on Apple or if you're, anandroid user on spotify jump over to the Youtube Channel, you can watch ushave the conversation. But, more importantly, please share this out. I'msure there's someone in your network that could benefit from what Wiley andI were talking about. I appreciate your attention. It meansthe world to me, there's so many places you can consume content in the fact youspend time with us today. That's just wonderful and, as I say at the end ofevery episode, you're in charge, but now Wiley gave you a few more tools andstrategies to help you become better both professionally and personally, andI thank you so much and I look forward to seeing you on the next episode wilyagain. Thank you so much you're welcome Glen. Thank you thank care. You too, I.

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