"You're In Charge" with Glenn Pasch
"You're In Charge" with Glenn Pasch

Episode 97 · 11 months ago

Is Your "Why" a Lie? with Dan Moore

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Dan Moore, President of VistaDash, author and TedEx speaker shares his journey to understanding your "Why" with host Glenn Pasch.  

Understanding why you are working so hard, why you act certain ways and what really matters at times can just be words. We may think our family is our "Why" but do your actions match up to that?  

One of the highlights is when Dan challenges Glenn to think of the times he is speaking with his wife, but when the phone dings with a message and your eyes dart to check. So if family is your why, was his wife really the most important in the moment? Fascinating conversation that will make you think about your why and how to be present to deliver the actions to validate it.   

Always a great conversation with Dan Moore.  

Enjoy it. Don't forget to subscribe, share and rate the podcast.  

About Dan Moore:  

Dan is a big-idea thinker and strategist currently serving as the President of Vistadash and Author of the book “Do Moore, Get More". He also is a TedEx speaker. A devoted husband and father of three, he lives in Scottsdale, Arizona. Despite his commitment to self-awareness (or perhaps because of it), he remains steadfast in his dislike of tomatoes.     

Get Dan's book: https://amzn.to/3uVg7D2

Connect with Dan: linkedin.com/in/mooreofdan/  

About Glenn Pasch:  

"Everyone finds themselves in charge at some point in their lives. Yet many of us lack the skills to generate consistent results. My goal is to help you learn the skills to adapt and grow in your personal and business life.”  

Glenn Pasch is CEO of PCG Digital, a full service digital marketing agency that specializes in helping businesses create and deliver customers raving, recommending & returning for more. 

He is author of 2 books including "The Power of Connected Marketing" and has spoken and educated audiences throughout the US and internationally.    

 Let’s Connect:   

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/glennpasch/​

Personal Website http://glennpasch.com/​

Company website: https://pcgdigital.com/

Support for this episode comes from PCG digital. It is anywhere from difficult to impossible to manage every aspect of the changing digital landscape. Rather than trying to do it yourself, why not leave it to an award winning team of Digital Marketing Specialists who have mastered at all connect to your message with more potential customers with PCG digital. Go to PCG digitalcom for more information. All of us are so busy day in and day out and we think we're working towards the right goal. If I ask most people what's most important to you, they may say, well, my family is most important to me, or maybe it's my employees or my business or my health. All of those are valid and you also can have multiple wise like why are you doing what you're doing? But today my guests Dan Moore, author and Ted Ex, speaker, poses a question. Is Your why a lie? And he explains that, while we may say our family is most important, are we really present for them when we're with them, or are we distracted with phone and work and other things that are pulling our attention away? So if your why really is your family, are you actually sabotaging it? And when we unpack this you may say a my why is a lie and I need to make some adjustments. I'm really excited. This is such an impactful of such a powerful episode I can't wait to share with you. So let's dive into today's episode of you're in charge conversations that spark change with Dan Moore. All right, Dan, so, welcome back again. So happy to have you back on the show. So I wanted to have you back because now you can add tedex speaker to your resume and very proud of that. I wanted to talk to you about two things. One is the experience of that. I think we have a tendency to look at the Ted x speakers and were where. We love what we see, but what it was really like going through that process, number one. But then I also want to really dive into your your topic, which was is your why a lie? So whichever way you want to go first, but again, thanks for being here. Always a pleasure. Excited to be on again. I mean, how many episodes are you on now, my friend, by the time this air is we're going to be closing in on one hundred. Yeah, so hopefully I gave a FY this one to be one hundred but if I'm close, you'll be close. It'll be close. But now you know that the the tedex experience. I mean first a humbling because you're like, okay, you set a target, you achieve it. Then you're like, oh now I got to deliver. So you know, the part of going through it, I would say for me, was probably one of the most challenging because I wanted to get it so right. So there was a lot of conflict from yea. Let me just roll right back hot so so someone's going to be listening to this and they're going to say, well, that's now you're there. How did you even get chosen that? That that I think would be an interesting place to start. How did you get there? And then I definitely want to hear about this. You know how you actually did it? Yeah, the book opened the door. So the book opened the door to that through some mutual friends. You read the book and was like Hey, this is great, I'm going to host a TEDX. I want you there. So that was really kind of that, that premise to it. And again, you know,...

...it was a great event. Matt Budreau in the Acting Academy, which, if you want to look at education in schools. You've got to check out active academy. What they're doing with kids is amazing. They actually had their students running the event. Yeah, yeah, so super cool. The just just the whole the way that they operate and teach and power these young children that just, you know, go kind of tap into that entrepreneurial mindset's really incredible. So that was exciting, along with the journey of getting ready for Ted. It was just it was a good as I always say, it's always good to have internal struggles, that whole fight of okay, what am I going to talk about? You know, is your Hyli was like a lot. It took me a while to land there and it finally just clicked through some conversations I had with you, for example. I mean you, you played a heavy hand, and me bouncing ideas and just being a soundboard. I'm thinking this, if you'd be like okay, that's great, but what if? Or what about this, or punch the holes, and it's like having such a good circle of friends that I can reach out to that look at me in different ways and know how I think and go MMM, you know, because my goal was to be as authentic as possible. Like there's no fluff, there's no BS, there's no like, Hey, that's somebody else's material. I wanted to be right online with pieces from the book, but even some new content that really challenged the way you'll think, because I want you know, obviously we all watch a lot of Ted. I picked up so many nuances of it's not me getting you action, it's me making you think, and so I really wanted to pull at the emotional strings to kind of go who that hurts a little bit. I need to I need to do some self reflection. So that was kind of the driver behind everything. So so for the audience again, Ted you you are limited to sixteen minutes, eighteen minutes. It's really like right now it's between ten and eighteen minutes. is kind of a sweet spot where they want you to in. Okay. So when you're crafting your talk, walk me through the the the how do we tug the whittling away? I think I've always been fascinated with ted because it seems, to your point, they're not saying here's a list of things to do. They want to inspire you to go out and question or learn or be inspired to move on and dive in more so, walk us through a little bit of how did you whittle it down? How do you decide what sticks what goes to to come up with this focus on your message? Yeah, that was the that was a challenging part too, because a you want to even in the PRINCI goes, you're careful how much you give up because it takes the oh out of it. So I started just kind of breaking it into fundamentals of you know, if I'm hitting on why, first I've got to unpack why. It's like telling a story. First I got to tell you. Let's unpack why a little bit. Then I got to get you into that state of where I start to reach in and I start to pull it some emotions and then I've got to exit on the pieces that make you go back and reflect on is your whilie. Right. So it really kind of was an interesting journey which led me into kind of the opening of why. Right. So the quicks you know again, it's so funny when you do as you get through a quick so opening up with why, we talked about why is being a child and so curious, like the purest point of curiosity. There is being a child. Why is this guy blue. Why is purple? Like you can get why to death right. And then we talked about as we age up a little bit more, are why kind of takes a pivot or turn and it becomes why me? Why is this happening? Why do they have X, Y or Z? And you're so your why starts to shift from curiosity to more of...

...a little bit of like pity or, you know, unhappiness or, you know, kind of just diverting away from your own true happiness. So ding moves from why you were saying, that inquisitiveness of a child, to what I heard in that description as you aged up was your why starts to pivot a little to comparison more than just pure why. You do. And you think about it too, because again, you know, I talked about the phone and social media and it's like you think about it. We're constantly in that state of comparison addiction. So it just starts to make sense because we've been pulled away from that being just curious and we don't ask questions as much, and society plays a heavy hand in that because again, if I ask too many questions, why are you being nosy? Why are you in my business? Why do you ask so many questions and you're like well, to seeking to understand, I want more information. But right again, we go through that whole phase and you start thinking about it you're like, wow, okay, I really have changed. I should ask more questions. That explains a lot. So you can see people following along and in that particular moment and then just the pull of, you know, holding up the phone and saying, you know, a list and this device is probably the greatest utility ever placed in the palm of our hand but at the same point in time, the greatest addiction, right, and everybody's like yeah, and then you kind of you know, like and then you kind of equated to you know, think about that last time that you misplace your phone, you didn't have service, you know, all those different points and that fear right, that fear of missing out, that those emotions that kind of come over you like Oh, panic. I mean, we've all been there. And then and then you kind of start to bring them back full circle and say now, think about those feelings right now, think about the last time you had those same exact feelings, that fear missing out, you know, with your spouse, with your family, with yourself with your life, right, because we get so distracted by life we forget about our own self at time. We forget about you know, are we going down the path that we wanted to? Are we chasing our goals, or we just simply kind of going through the motion because that's what society's taught us? So it becomes an interesting journey along the way it. Yeah, I think that's that's an interest, really interesting point, because a few episodes ago I interviewed a gentleman named Garland Vance and he wrote a book gold getting unbusy, and he was talking about how being busy is a badge of honor and how a lot of times people are just busy without direction. They're doing things because either they think they should be doing things, but they don't have a goal in mind, they don't have an endpoint. So then they also default to that comparison right, like you were saying, I'm going to compare myself to someone else and then all of a sudden say well, I just have to work harder. But they may not even know why they're working on what they're doing or what the end result is going to be, and so you just, you know, become more busy, right and well, it is working harder. Yes, yes, exactly like that. That's the whole piece that I think we get hung up on is we're toll hey, if you're not getting up at two o'clock in the morning and crushing it, and if you're not doing this and you're not you're not winning. It's like, we'll wait a minute. It's like those that I love it. I used to sale time. I'm a multitasker and then you, when you start to unpack all those different points, you to wait a minute. Basically, all I am is a Jack of all and master of none. Right, so you have to have intension, you have to be extremely intentional in everything that you do because, again, your most precious commodity, which is time, has to be put in the right direction, or you don't accomplish anything to your peak. You just you just haven't. You live along if you will know, and that's what you know. The that gentleman said in his book, he his question always was because it...

...happened to him. He made a conscious decision to say, what do I want? And I love this. He goes, what do you want the piece of your life to be like? I love that. Because then he said you want you understand that, then you control. Then you can work as hard as you want towards a goal. You have a direction versus and I thought your example was spot on, where it's I'm not up at three o'clock, I must be a loser. If I'm not working eighty seven hours a day, I'm a loser. If I'm not a doing forty seven things, I'm not doing enough. And so you just start doing things to say well, look, I'm doing things, but it's not getting you anywhere. Right, and it's like posting on Social Media High Frequency. What is it getting you? What is the intention behind what you're doing? Right, just posting because that's what everybody else is doing? Okay, well, that takes time. That's time and energy, and if it doesn't fit with what you're doing, then then you got to reevaluate. I think that's the biggest thing. I mean we heard all the time, especially even in our industry, right while the way we've always done it, it's like, well, that doesn't mean it's right. Right. I think it's always that idea of if I have a direction, if I have a goal, then the actions I'm taking or either bringing me towards it now they were. There are people that posting on social media is helping them achieve their goal grow their business. Right, that's fine. But if you're just posting with this the hope of it makes me feel good, if someone likes it, that that's risky, because then you're you're you're putting your self worth into this addictive machine. And then what happens? When I don't get the likes or I don't get the response I think I should, then it's either well, I need to do more, or now I start doubting myself, and that's a slippery slope to go down. Well, and not to mention is that taking you away from your goal. So if you're saying you're your family is your why? But you're on social media all the time to feel that, that affirmation, then hmm, wait a minute. Here for a second we got to reevaluate because again, you're not putting your time buckets off, you're putting your time in the wrong bucket. Got The right bucket. So there's it's a challenge then, because you know a lot of time people like, well, what's what is it exactly? It's like, well, there is no exactly it's whatever you deep and that's where you've got to put it into perspective, because what I choose to do is be there in the what you choose to do. Where our buckets are, where time goes, there's no we are individuals for the sake of being individuals. Yes, and I think it's very easy to default to that comparison from the outside. Right. How many people? We all know, people in our lives, and those of you in the audience, I'm sure you know people where you'll say, oh, they looked so happy and then you wonder why they got a divorce or they I thought they were x but there were. Why? Because that what they were showing to the world was different than the reality. But you are comparing yourself to the image and adjusting your life to their image when a reality, they weren't really that happy behind the scenes to begin with. Right, exactly, exactly. So let's let's talk about that, because we've been dancing around a little bit setting it up. So the topic is your why a lie? I remember when you reached out to me said this is my talk, is your Wylie, and I was like, okay, explain that to me. What do you mean? By that. So to those of listening, when you say is your why a lie, share what your thoughts, what that means and what you shared in the Ted talk around that topic. Yeah, so, simply put using myself as an example, I mean easy wife, three amazing daughters. My wife has my family right. But if we start being curious and...

...asking questions over a course of time when I was traveling six, seven days a week, when you know, constantly airports, airport, meaning to meeting, you know, device in my hand, you know, literally my wife is talking to me and I'm just like yeah, honey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, good, good, good. So again, at that point in time my life, I'd say my why it was a lie. So when you start understanding what it is you're doing right, what it is you're doing, what you're doing, who you're doing it for, what you're doing it for, you got to kind of self inspect that. And again the hardest thing we can ever do is get up every morning to look at that mirror and say, am I doing the things that that I'm supposed to be doing right? And what is that? So that pivot of measurement and and that's where I kind of again the wall is your Hyli. I think we've all through our life. You know what do you want it? Who Do you want to be when you grow up? What do you want to be when you grow up? You know what's your why. You know why do you do what you do. We've been asked it's so many different ways. We give a very surface level response because that's what we're trained to do. We've lost that curiosity. Or the second someone questions are why, then it becomes a point of defensiveness because again, wait a minute, there must be cheek in the armor here, because I'm getting I'm you know, if you're automatically going defensive if someone starts to ask you a few more questions, I mean that's an immedia red flag. But that was kind of the whole premise to it was there's a point in my life where I was like basically why? I was a total lie and I had to reevaluate, revamp and reset the goal to if my family is everything and that is my why. So creating memories, you know, because that's really kind of how I look at everything in the families. The goal is to create as many memories as possible because at the end of the ride. That's all we're left with. It isn't how much money you have, it isn't the it isn't the cars, the toys, the whatever, whatever, it's the memories, and those people that you shared it with in majority of those memories are you were family. So that really kind of drove that for me. So then someone listening might push back or let me be them for you and saying, okay, well, in that situation your job required you to be on the road. You know, leave on a Sunday, leave on a Monday, come back on a Thursday. So for that, if you're saying, well, if my family was most important, does that mean then making sure that you're checking in with them or making sure that when your home they're a hundred percent? Walk me through that, because someone like saying, well, listen, I have to work, Glan I or Dan, I have to work. I mean, yeah, my family, I'm doing this for them. So how could someone make adjustments in that framework to be living their family is their most important? No, several different ways. I mean a and again that was a beauty of beautiful thing about Ted is there was another speaker there that literally moved to Barbados like left his job, said we're going to simplify life. I'm all about you know, and they went crazy. So there's the extreme right. What about not going to share it, because there's the question that that really is that person that's probably watching this right now. I'm going. Not Sure I'm boughting just yet or to your point, but yeah, I got a job. Okay, not saying you got to do anything about quitting your job. If you have a job and you're making money, but yet your family is your why? And you're on twenty four seven, three hundred and sixty five? There becomes a point to where you've got to be able to the balance. Is A cluche word because it's really not balancing. I call it, you know, basically overdrawing your account at times. But when you walk in that door, even though you may have a con some work to do, it's hey, right now, I've got to put the next three hours into my family because they're coming up from school, we're going to have dinner and then they're going to go to bed.

So that means I've got three hours on the tail end of that that I got to put in to get worked Ne. So that's where it's not being busy. That's where it's being intentional. So right, for me, some of the things that I did, I mean I did change jobs, but didn't mean that the task didn't become I was able to control the job better, meaning I didn't allow the travel to get out of control. But what I did do was set boundaries in the fact of and again you always have relapse. I'm saying you can give up a film for here and there, but it happens. But we have dinner and there's no devices at the table. I think that rules more for me than anybody else in my household. But that's a fair rule. Right. But when you start setting rules and communicate as a family and again that that's a conversation with the family, like hey, we're we're going to have no device table, we're going to talk about our day, we're going to do when you start setting the expectation in the standard, then it becomes the way of life. I mean even today I have teenage daughters and we still have no devices at the table. Right. So there's there's things that happen on the way. There's no perfect formula, but the first step is acknowledging it and then making adjustments to better and each day. I always say, when you get up every day you ask yourself. One thing is you're brushing your teeth in the mirror, whatever it is you do in the morning, whatever your routine is, is that you look yourself a dead in the face. You Go, was I better than yesterday the day before? Like, if you're constantly making progress, great, the days you have a set back and you stay man, today was yesterday was a big setback. What am I going to do different today to make up for yesterday? And when you have those conversations and when you know if you have to write it down again. Some people have to get up every morning write their goals down. Everybody has different ways. So what I would tell that everybody watching is is do what works for you. Just because everybody else is doing it doesn't mean you have to. I don't necessarily write everything down. I have a conversation with myself every morning. It helps start the day right. It allows me to kind of silence everything in my head and hold myself accountable. Now I'll go into my office, I'll write a few checklist things like these are the key things I want to get accomplished. I never have more than five because for all of you that are in the real trenches, you know the deal. You could have to pay ages of everything you want to get done to day. Good Luck, you'll get maybe one or two done right. I always say shoot realistic. Everything you're doing has to be realistic. Start with the easiest wins and then have your bigger ones become more of a mid or long term because we're humans. If you set a crazy goal that is very hard to reach and it's high up on the top of the hill and you don't get there, or you get halfway and you hit some turbulens, you're going to fail and go back down again. You know it's like seventy five hard challenge right. You got to set little milestones to keep the momentum going that helps you get those bigger ones along the way. So I just tell everybody watching there's no perfect formula. It's one foot in front of the other and you've got to do what works for you. Start with the easy thing and then add the more complex things. If the phone is the hardest thing for you to let go find the easier ones or just find a little bit of time, like Hey, I'm going to put my phone in phone jail for thirty minutes or an hour and be a part of dinner or whatever it might like. I guarantee you, because again, I was that guy too. I was Mr you can call me and I'll answer anytime, any day, anywhere. Thirty minute delay isn't going to change the world. There's nothing that's that. The House will never be on fire enough for the fact you can't disconnect for thirty to forty five minutes and have time with your family. Now, I think, just to unpack a few things there that I hope you are all of you listening or watching or, you know, writing down these notes. I think it's the words that keep popping into my head are intentional and also being present. Right when you're at work, be present at work, or if you're in a meeting, be present in that meeting. But when you come home, I had...

...very similar challenges as well because, you know, running a business you never turn off. But I did same thing, probably talking with you, you know, a year ago. But I've been doing were over time. We've been doing it for a while, as when I would come home, everything went away. Just leave it, just be present and then after dinner maybe a half an hour go check in, do things. But I was guilty of the same thing, of cooking and talking to the kids but having a phone near me or a text came right in the middle of a conversation and I would look away from them and go, Oh, what's that? And it could have been a text from somebody, it could have been a notification. I turned all notifications off from social media, off of my phone as well, because they were distraction from me being present, and I think too. So those two words of intentionality, of saying small little winds in order to be present, because you can do that. So again, it's not I need to quit my job and go to Barbados, but when I'm working, I'm working, when I'm home, I'm home. If I'm traveling, I have a ritual of calling every night to spend some time, facetime or whatever, to because if that is your importance will, then day shouldn't go by that you don't talk right. So I love that intentionality. I love that idea of putting something in place to help you achieve this why, or else your why is a lie and you could end up losing it because you're focusing on the wrong thing. Right, a hundred percent. And the kind of piggyback on that. I mean that if you know, you get a chance to watch the Ted. It's not up yet, but when it does. But one of the things that that kind of Lake segues into that is is that to unpack your why is a simple formula of cast. So curiosity, right, we've got to be curious. We have to we have to have action, which is being intentional. You have to take action. Nothing happens. It's kind of well sings. You know, a goal without action will forever be a dream. You have to put one foot in front of the other to make things happen, no matter what. Intention and action are the combination to getting things done. And then, you know, so we've got that, then we've got s self awareness. You've got to have the the self awareness and the discipline to hold your self account. It sucks, it's not fun, but when you get to that level, man, things start to kind of click. And then finally you just have to live life as the fact of you know, you have one ticket, right, one ticket on this ride called life. So when the ride is up and you step off, do you really want to be full of regret? Where do you want to be full of, fulfilled with all the things that you did, the time you spent with your family, the things that you did for your community, the work that you you know, the legs, if you're work, and what you achieve, whatever those things are. Again, you have one ticket and when you really frame it in, you got to one ticket on this rock called life. It does change because there's no guarantee. Yes and I, ride could end before you think it does. So you've really got to kind of accelerate your thought process and what you do, because there's no guarantee. No, I. So I think that's I think that's I think that's one of the best you know, excuse me, that that thought of the ticket, because you don't know when the rides can end. We all like to think we know, but we don't know. And so every day you're making those deposits, and again I go back to that word intentional, those deposits into what you feel is important, right. So that's my why and if it's my family, at the end of the day you should be saying what it what? What did I put into that? What did I deposit into that account today? And some days it's going to be...

...more. Some days it's going to be less. Maybe a Saturday, like you said, where we're going on a vacation and it's fully every day is to change, to change, to Chang and other days I'm traveling and it's just a couple. But you're aware of it, you're intentional about it and you understand that that is and you make decisions through that lens of what's important, versus getting distracted by a myriad of other things that all of a sudden will potentially claim to be like a mirage. Oh this is way more important in your family. Oh, this is going to help your family, and then all of a sudden you haven't made deposits. I think, I think what you're talking about here is so important because it's easy to just get busy for busy sake, like we talked about earlier, and you wake up a couple years later and there's that bank is closed. Well again, this is the other part, back to self awareness on that one too, is that we make deposits right, but sometimes we're not aware of the withdraws were making. So you do the right thing, you show up the dinner table, you're there, you're depositing into that into that bucket, right. But then you're sitting there having a conversation with your spouse and again that notification pops on the phone and you go and then you come back and you've lost that conversation. All of that what you just put them that to what you just deposit. You just drew a deficit. Now because you just said you're not important to me. Right, and for those not watching, basically Dan, I mean you know, for the people listening, you know Dan sitting there going, just looking away. Right, all of a sudden that notification became more important than the person you're talking to. So there's your why? Is a lie, because if you my spouse is the most important in this conversation, then me getting up and walking to go get something, even if it's something to drink, is like, well, where the hell are you going? Or you're looking at your phone, or you hear a Ding and you're your you become addicted to it. Those things you may not think are important, because you could say, well, I'm still here, I'm still listening, but are you? Are you if you flush the toilet down? If you I think one of the best things you ever said was what happens that. That's why I loved your talk. Is that feeling of when you don't have service, when you have a feeling that you can't connect or your ran out of or it's broken, you literally get nauseous. Yeah, but do you do that for if your spouse? Like I'll say, most people would say no, I don't, and I think that's why it's so important to discuss this topic. What and that's kin to we go through life and it goes back to the ticket right. See, you have one right on this, you know, but yet you're missing the boat because your you can't live without your phone if it's disconnected. You have this feeling, but then you can go through life, you know, your kids, your wife, and not miss a beat, do the things and totally take it for granted, and then all of a sudden, one day when that ride comes to an end, the amount of regret that comes over you, it's like you didn't have to you those to hmm hmm. So something popped into my head. It's a slight pivot, but I think this is a can apply also to this idea of being present so great. A lot of people will say there, why is their family? Some people will say their why is their career, right, they make say I don't have a throne. Right. So then then my business is my why or my team is my why. So put put this same conversation through the Lens of business where, if so easy, if I'm sitting here saying my team is the most important thing or my business or my employees are the most important thing to me, pivot just a little into the business side of your why. COULD BE A lie. Yeah,...

...no, absolutely so. First I'm I say this too, as we say, into this is that your why? There isn't one why. There's a multitude of Wy. So don't think that. Okay, well, family, it can beat family, and business there can be layers. No one put rules on this. So, as we say, que now into the business side of it. Let's have some fun. First and foremosts you want. You want to show your team how much you matter. Keep showing up later, rescheduling meetings. You basically just said the ultimate signal how much they matter. Right. I've been guilty. Show five, ten minutes later got tied up on another call. There's no I mean bottom line is, if you value your people, you have to show up and you have to be present. Meeting. If I'm having a meeting and all sudden go oh, I got to take this call, it's dangerous or the same rules apply. People are people right if you're if you're having a one on one and you're distracted. That's why I say meetings are dangerous and and everybody watching the running company, Keyword. Have Intentional meetings, meeting on a meeting about a meeting, meeting just to get people to be like fluffiness, like stop. If you're having a meeting, what is it? What is it we're trying to accomplish? There's a point of the meeting. If you're having like weekly updates, I mean we kind of you know, again for us will have like you know, weekly updates and again you kind of get a state of what everything's going on in the business and it's an overview. It's only x amount of time and then you move into the some of the more critical meetings. But again, our life is full of meetings. So, especially with the team, we have to show them the same respect we would show our family. It's that same exact intentionality of I'm here, I'm on time, I'm present what we want to accomplish. You know, especially and it can be the flip side to I know we're talking about leaders running the meetings, but how many times we've all been in meetings where someone else is talking and we're looking at our phone or they're now we used to have a rule of no computers, no phones in the meetings. You know, turn them off, turn them over, whatever. Several rolls out. Some people would sit there and say, Oh, I'm going to, you know, take notes, but then g chats up there or they're working. So realistically, I think this is again going back to that intentionality and present. How much time do we waste in meetings because people were distracted by something else and next thing you know they say oh, sorry, Dan, what were you saying? And to one disrespectful to we just wasted time, versus we're going to spend ten minutes, seven minutes, five minutes, whatever the number is all hyper focused and we can all get out of here, versus a meeting for an hour and you go this could have been an email, right. That's the joke. One percent. No, it is a joke, and I do think some of it's how you set your culture up. I mean you've got to give people the opt out right, because again, some people get pulled into meetings that are in there and they're like this, there's nothing I can contribute here. Right like you got to have the no one should feel stuck in a meeting. I always say, if you're not, if there's no value here or there's nothing to contribute, you have the right to back out, you know. But at the same point in time, it especially now because it can't put your device away because nine times out of ten we're doing zoom calls or Google meets or whatever. So you're on advice. But I think that you've got to have intentionality. I think that you've got to depending on the type of meeting, you know, there's flexibility and some humor and some kind of you know, it can kind of go off the rails a little bit and then you bring it back for the rigid stuff. We're trying to move something along to the point. Have A cadence, keep, you know, hurt all the cats. Get to the objective, get to the end result. It's your point. Could it be couldn't start on an email and if it needs to progressed to that, great, but again it's just having that conversation with the teams setting the guidelines to how you guys want to navigate meetings or conversations and then being intentional in those moments and having some accountability measures.

Right. I mean there's nothing wrong with a little bit of team karate, you know, team kind of coming together and say hey, Dan, do we now? Not a good time for you? No, no, no, no, I'm sorry. Right, you got me right, shame on me, and that's part of also having a good team. If your team can't call you out, and especially if you're a leader or whatever, then you got a question some of your leadership. Because again, we're in this together. The team is really the mechanics of everything. We're just there to clear the runway. So we've got to be held accountable to because again, if we're just saying I'm so busy, what I'm doing is excusable, what you're doing isn't. It's doesn't work that way, right. So pace the leader, pace the pack. So if you're captain, I'm on my phone and half in a meeting, you can't expect your team to be the meeting either. Well, that the the poor leader would do that. All of a sudden they'd put their phone down say okay, well, now you put all your phones away, because now I'm ready, I'm mentally here, so snap to order. When someone else is presenting and they're sitting there on their phone, or I've seen it a million times, is the Oh, let me go take this call, and everyone goes well, now we're stuck here for twenty minutes, like we can't move the meeting forward till Dan comes back. And where's Dan? And next thing you know we're going on and everybody starts work, but the energy of the meeting just goes up. This why I hate meetings. Versus ignoring that. I mean literally, if you give your phone, if you left your phone in the office and you're in another office for a meeting, you wouldn't know that the phone rang. You'd go pick it up later on and go, Oh, Glenn called, let me Call Glen Bat Right. I think that's where everything we've been talking about is that intentionality of being present because the people here are important to me, and it could be my family, it could be my friends, it could be it could be my my employees or my boss or whoever. The fact is, when I'm here with you, it's important to me, so nothing else should matter. So then act that way agree and also shows some humility. I mean I can't. Sometimes I've had to apologize in the team because, I mean, I made the cardinal said right. Or Hey, Dan, this question for you. Whoo yeah, sorry, wasn't paying attention. Instead of trying to like poof through it, it's like no, no, dot, my bad. It like you've got to fall on the sword a couple times because again, we're human, we're going to be. Nobody's perfect. So you're going to, as I call you're going to have relapses. The question is is, can you catch it? Meaning there's been times where I'm like talking to my wife in the phone start and I go I'm sorry, and I just side arm it to the side and going sorry, like it got me, but I'm still here. Yeah, and then other times like I'm in it and and then the talking, because Hercue to me now is I'll just stop talking to you. It's the second he goes silent, right. I'm like, Yep, I know really, but again it's accountability and that's why I'm saying you should never be off limits, right to your family or to your team. I don't care what your position is and how high might you think you are. You should never be off limits. You can't, I think, your mouse to the line and then you you get the exception. Does it doesn't? Yeah, no, I think that's what was interesting. What you were saying earlier is, and you and I share the same philosophy of you know, my job as the leader, whatever position I'm in, is no important than anybody else's. I just do different things. But if you're going to build a culture, which is a word that gets thrown around all the time, but if you're going to build a successful team, and a successful ones buzzword. He's saying it's about that could be a...

...buck stalize, which is a buzz word. There's a lot of culture and no one knows what it is. But I think to your point is that if we're building an organization where we're all focused on the goal and we're all working hard, that we should all as teammates, no matter what your rank is. We're successful. To that point, there was a gentleman I was having a conversation with who was a new general manager and took over an automobile dealership. At this could be any business right and it was failing. And one of the best things he said he did was he took everybody's business cards away and he replaced every business card and everybody had the title manager. He says, you all worked to drive this into the ground, we're all going to work together to build it up. So by giving everyone the title of manager, everybody was empowered to talk, everyone was empowered to fix the problems without fear of I can't say that to x y Z. I thought that was just a brilliant strategy. And you know, four years later it's one of the top most well run organizations I've run across. Well, and that's a key word right there that you said is the word empower if you want people to do their job and and the and think about how many business we go into and it's like I can't find good people, they don't want to work. You know all these things that go wrong. Now there's some truth in some of it. Who aren't? We also have to ask more questions is, what are we doing? What's our contribution to the problem? Right, because again there's those leaders that are very micro manager style, which means you can't sneeze without a counting through me. So then, therefore, they're never going to have an idea, right and then there's others where it's like, yes, I empower you, just like you were talking about you. You have the same power I do now if something goes sideways. And again, I have the same methodology as well, as I didn't hire someone to make my job harder, right, I hired someone to do that job and empower them to make the decisions if something's doesn't work right or there's there's something that went wrong. I'm not going to go Tarim Anu one. I'm just to say let's have a conversation. What, right? Why? First off, why meagine that. Why did you get you? Why did we do this right? What was the goal of that decision? What were you trying to solve? And if you could do something differently based on what? What? What occurred? What would you have done differently? Right? Because, again, everybody's so we are so buzzword, cliche and sense of you know, a lot of business fail fast and fail often. Then you go to their business it's like the second someone makes a mistake, they're getting crucified. You're like, yeah, totally want to fail here, right, right. So, so. So on that point, I think as we pivot a little bit, one one last pivot here to take that, because I think we would be remiss. Because I know you explain it so well. Is this idea of if I have a team and I train them really well to do their job to the point that I don't have to what you mentioned, micro managed, or I feel that, wow, my team is really executing well. For some that's scary. They think, well, maybe they don't need me. Versus what you and I were talking about before we jumped on today, this idea of by clearing off some of those things off of my plate and empowering them to do this, my plate is empty and I can add on new things that will help the organization move forward. Versus we're both trying to do someone's job. Versus, no, that's your job, I have other things to do. Talk about that. Yeah. So there's a lot of different fundamentals to it, but essentially, you know, there comes...

...a point where you have to be in the weeds. There's time we're going to come out of the weeds. I can't help someone grow if I don't understand the job. So I get in the weeds. Shoulder shoulder, we go through whatever that might be. But again, as we kind of grow and develop. It moves past the points where, again, that comes off my plate. I can fill it with another, another task, another you know, goal and other action, whatever it might be. And it changes because, again, depending on your role, whether you're, you know, the CEO, a president, a manager or whatever, there's other things. So it's, you know, freeing up more time to go coach and develop. It's freeing up time to go seek that next partnership or that bigger deal or, you know, the the future of the you know platform. If you're running a software company, there's always stuff to be put on the plate. The question is, what are you allowing to get on your plate then? Is preventing you from the bigger picture? And and that's always a challenge. Always has been a challenge, and I do feel fortunate. I mean obviously we're smaller company sets a little bit easier. I mean, I get all time will Dan. You know, when you get more people it becomes more challenging. I'm like, it's all scale. I mean, if you build the right people, you build the right bench and as you move up and you build more people and you build more layers of management, if that management has the same mantra that you do, and doesn't fear their job so that they have to be the one look at what I'm doing all the time, which is getting it done. It can multiply and if you understand that and you understand, hey, there's just some people that work and don't work for positions, it does change the game. But yes, I don't have a fear of I've got to validate my position or if all these people are doing these things in my plate looks different. I don't have any fears. It's like I get to do something else. There's other things that start to free up and clear the clear out to where it's almost it's almost a recipabal effect. I've cleared their runway so they can get the planes off the ground and run run the way they need to. By doing that, it almost does the same thing for me, so that I can get off the ground and focus on the things that are critical to the growth of the company. Right, because again, if we're all doing it, then everybody wins. There's more growth in the company, which means whether that's revenue, whether that's people, whatever, everybody starts to win because they feel all of those impacts. But yet the point is their contributor well and and well. What I like about that is, and again a few pe I want to make sure you're not misunderstanding what day was saying, is that if I'm working with the team, if I need to scale and grow, eventually, you know, if I was had a team of five people and we expanded and now we have ten people, well, eventually I have to get someone else up there if five is the limit. And then eventually, as we scale, I have now three or four people who are that Middle Layer. That's my team. I'm not worried about the bottom people. I'll check in. Really my team is that and as I scale up, there's always a team under me. But to your point is, if we're all focused on doing the same job, we're only going to get so far because no one's able to pick their head up and go hey, we need to go that way. We're just as you say, we're all in the weeds and someone's going yeah, but you we should be going that way. So we have to clear that plate. But it is a strange feeling as you escalate up because you may lose that that, I'll call it, like the buzz or the high of really being in the weeds. It's very addicting and then all of a sudden you're sitting there feeling while I'm not really having an impact, but you are, because your impact is on that next layer down that impacts that so almost there was a gentleman two weeks ago I interviewed and and he said something I thought was spot on. He said the higher you move up in in leadership, it becomes more about building relationships with your teen's versus, you know,...

...going down into the tactical because you've left the tactical now because you have to build relationships with the layer of people who are coaching those people on the front lines. And I thought that was a really good way and relationships, building relationships don't feel they feel different, but it to your point is, if you're accepting of that, you then are looking in a different direction to be able to do more for your team. A hundred percent, and that's just but it's uncomfortable and the simply, you know, kind of putting perspective to for those watching is just think of it this way. You always should be training your replacement if you're if you have that mindset a that comes back to self awareness. I'm comfortable mild skin. I do what I do, it should be acknowledged. But at the same point in time, if you're going to get to the next level, which is so, it's chasing their career, right, it's that next level, then why aren't you training your replacement? Well, the fear is, if I train you to do what I need to do, what I'm doing, the fear is, well, they're going to fire me and keep Dan for whatever reason. Because now again, that also depends on the person who's above me. Right, as we eskal laid up. Always remember, if I get promoted to team leader, I'm on someone else's team, right, so I'm I sit at the table of someone else now who I report to. So the question really is, is that person empowering me or grooming me or training me and moving me up? If not, then I feel well, listen, if I train somebody, I'm not getting that pull up to say someone's looking to groom me to take their place. The only option is if I get these other people really good, then I'll get fired. But to your point of really well, organization should always be saying, Dan, I want you to replace me, but I can't have you replace me till if you find somebody to replace you, and that should constantly be the conversation through organizations in order to scale. Because then it goes back to what we were talking about the why. If the employees really are the most important thing, then I should be hoping and working towards them improving their position, their skill set to do more or if that's really important, then I have to, as you said earlier, all act on it and do it, not just lip service percent and it really kind of mind melt everybody. On that point you just made is if you have a fear of being fired, then then you've got to think to yourself, well, if I'm not going to level someone up because they might fire me or so there's so many different ways I've heard it spun. And someone ask the question, how do you get past it? I go I look at it as if I'm going to get fired, I'm going to get fired on my terms, not somebody else's. HMM. You don't control what you don't control. So someone doesn't like you, they can fire you if you're if you if you want to run and fear all the way. That's how that works. So at the end of the day, if I'm going to get fired. I'm going to get fired because I pushed all in and I'm going to I'm gonna let it happen for me, meaning I stood my ground, I did my job, I pushed through the barriers. If that wasn't good enough and you fired me, I'm not considering that a loss on my end. No, you just are on the wrong team. Right. That that that's the key, is that you're on the hundred, a hundred percent right and if you've got that kind of mindset and that kind of Mojo going for you, as we always joke, you're only a phone call or a social media post away for being rehired, because people will know who you are by the job that you do. And again, that separates everybody in any industry is everybody come in and has great lip service. It's the action that you do that will cement your business in this status and what you can accomplish. I didn't get to where I'm at just because I said, Hey, I'm good at whatever or like. None of that happened. It happened because people saw the action, they saw the result. Talk is sheet everybody. I...

...mean how many times then? I'm sure you and I could share stories back and forth. Somebody comes in as a beautiful resume man, they have mastered the art of interviews. They get in and like, nothing happens right and I like, Whoa, no, you were sold a bill of goods or they sounded good and everyone was on their best behavior. But I think that that's such a to just sort of wrap this all and and whind this down with just this. These final thoughts. Is it goes back to the why. If your why is for your family, for your company, for your friends, for yourself, then that means I'm present, I want people, I am concerned, not in a bad way, but my action should be aligned in a way that I'm not worried about what people say behind my back, meaning that if somebody asks somebody about you, know, let's say you, I know what they're going to say and it's all going to be the same because your actions led to have people having that opinion of you, whether they worked with you, they met you, they heard about you. It's all aligned. But if your constant, if your why isn't important or you're not present or your actions don't align, that's where you get that disconnect. Of I hope they don't find out or you know little song and dance or what I call jazz hands, and you're not really delivering on it because you were not intentional to begin with. Oh yeah, and it's only a matter of time. I mean that's the thing. If you're playing the long game, you've got to have the depth. The short game is exactly what it is. It's very short. When you have no substance, your flighty, you're not focused, you can flush it out. Even the best people that say, Oh, I you know, I write my goals down, I do this, I could be I'm crushing life. Man. You know, some of US get more exposure than we needed times and you just kind of go wow, there's gonna be some people are going to be like wow, didn't see that. So they also, I mean you and I've seen people, just it's the story and the story can run for but then you go, well, why do you keep moving jobs, right? Why are you always in different places and versus, if if that really was aligned, it doesn't make sense. Right. That's where the as you said, the Ad said, the advertisement doesn't live up to the reality. But I think there's one critical point before we wrap up that everybody takes a second and here's is that your why could be something as simple as this. I'm going to make a comfortable living and I'm going to enjoy my life. That is one, a hundred percent, okay. Yeah, and we're in a society where they don't make that okay. Well, what is kind of funny, I think we got to take a step back and realize, is that it doesn't matter what you said it beautifully. People will talk, you know, behind your backs, as here, and you get some points where, if you're really comfortable, you're askin, you don't care, and I think that that is a huge, huge, huge piece. Is when you get comfortable in your own skin and your why is as clear as it can be, nothing else matters. Right, right, no, I think it's I was listening to and I've said it and I'm not always as good as I will. It will sound like I am and I'm not, as that my head gets a little twisted at times, but at the end of the day, I know who. There's a circle of people, family and very close friends that they came to me and said I'm disappointed. That would mean something and have an impact. Where someone I don't know, someone who I have any you know, even a nice relationship with that doesn't bother me. But that goes back to you, if you're aligned and that your goal. That goes back to...

...what you want your pace of life to be. You know, Gary Vanderd Chuck always taught says that, hey, listen, if you make fifty, sixty, seventy eight, whatever the number is, and you want to play on too softball teams and you want to take your family out, and that's great for you, great own it, but don't complain. Right. If you're then going to complain about something, then say well, there lies the shout. You have to change. But if you're saying, Nope, this is what I want. Going back to the the gentleman Dr Van's if that's the pace I want from my life like his. He designed his life where he and his wife Take Fridays off and that's their time. Their kids are in school and that so he works four days and he finds a revenue and ways to make his money and those four days so he can do it because that's the pace of his life and he's comfortable with it until nothing wrong with it. Nothing wrong and he's happy until he says, maybe I want to change but then that's a going back to what you were saying. It's intentional. Of now I'm changing, versus the complaining I didn't do this right. It all goes back to understanding what your why is, making it intentional, creating a strategy, creating a plan, executing it and then, long term, get there, versus getting beat up in the short term based on outside influences. And again, nothing's easy. So there's nothing like. Nothing's easy. There's no way. That's why I love every was like, you know, you look at somebody else. Is Really what's easy? It's like, no, it's not. No, no, trust me, it's not. All right. So listen, this has been phenomenal a. You and I could just sit and chat all long, long time. I love talking with you. So two things first, and then we'll get into our final questions. Just your name of your book again, because I have it and I just want people to know where to get it. The name of the book is do more, so do mo aready, got a play on your own name. Yeah, get more skilled, regular MRE on amazoncom. Great, great, great. Okay. So at the end of every show we ask questions. So these are that sort of titled them. One, the one thing. So we're going to ask you a few things. So, one place that you would like to have traveled that you haven't been to yet. That's a good one. We're you know, we were talking about that too. One place I want to travel, because we're big Disney people. I'd like to go to all of the disneys outside of the US. WHOO, that would be interesting. Okay, what's the one food that, end of the day, you think you cook the best? Oh, no, doubt. I mean even you have asked this one. I could any type of stake. I mean I crush stakes. So, yeah, I'm about yeah, that I got the title. Come. Okay, okay, the movie or show that, when you run across it on TV, you stop and you watch it. Well, there's few, but I'll go of my favorite, rocky. Okay, what's the book or that you're listening to or something that you're reading or listening to that's inspiring you right now that you would share with others your next silence? Great, will put that into the show notes. Two questions. Bring your close family, close friends all together in a room, described Dan, and one word. What is the most common word they will use? There's a lot I got one on here. You could probably answer for me and hold on, I got a notification. I'll say no because, yeah, I would say most of how here is hum humble. Okay, yeah, I would. I would agree with that. Last last question. Out of everything we talked about, if there's one thing you hope that the listeners take away from this conversation, one thing, what do...

...you think that one thing you would hope they would take away would be? I'm the one thing is just looking the mirror and challenge what they're doing and if they're on solid ground, great, but just having that honest moment with yourself, because at the end of the day, that's all that matters. It's just you against you. I love that. Love that, love that. Well, listen, thanks again. I appreciate it. You know how much you mean to me. You've been a sub phenomenal supporter for me as well. So where can people connect with you? On Social Media, and you should folks connect with Dan. Where can they find you? I am a a pretty much every channel. You can go to my site. Do More, get more, HMM, more of dancom done. Yet pretty much easy to get a hold of. And again, if I can help anybody you want to shoot me a Dan, have a question you want to, you know, challenge this a little bit Sam full of it. I love to connect. Always up for a conversation and I would highly recommend it, because he will he will challenge you. He makes you think. That is one good thing. So again, Dan, thank you so much. I appreciate that. Now, for all of you listening again, do not forget to please subscribe to the podcast, wherever you listen, being on apple or spotify or whatever platform, or jump over to Youtube. Subscribe if you want to watch Danon eyes conversation. I really appreciate and I know there's a lot of places where you can listen to content in the fact that you spend some time with Dan and me means the world to me. Please make sure you share this out. There's a lot of people that could use this information and, as always, please rate the podcast. Also comment below. This way I know what you like, what you don't like and who you'd like me to interview as well. So, as they say at the end of every episode, you're in charge. But Dan has now given you a few more things to help you become better, both professionally and personally, so that you become the leader that you want to be. Thanks again. I look forward to seeing you, guys, on the next episode.

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