"You're In Charge" with Glenn Pasch
"You're In Charge" with Glenn Pasch

Episode 97 · 1 week ago

Is Your "Why" a Lie? with Dan Moore

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Dan Moore, President of VistaDash, author and TedEx speaker shares his journey to understanding your "Why" with host Glenn Pasch.  

Understanding why you are working so hard, why you act certain ways and what really matters at times can just be words. We may think our family is our "Why" but do your actions match up to that?  

One of the highlights is when Dan challenges Glenn to think of the times he is speaking with his wife, but when the phone dings with a message and your eyes dart to check. So if family is your why, was his wife really the most important in the moment? Fascinating conversation that will make you think about your why and how to be present to deliver the actions to validate it.   

Always a great conversation with Dan Moore.  

Enjoy it. Don't forget to subscribe, share and rate the podcast.  

About Dan Moore:  

Dan is a big-idea thinker and strategist currently serving as the President of Vistadash and Author of the book “Do Moore, Get More". He also is a TedEx speaker. A devoted husband and father of three, he lives in Scottsdale, Arizona. Despite his commitment to self-awareness (or perhaps because of it), he remains steadfast in his dislike of tomatoes.     

Get Dan's book: https://amzn.to/3uVg7D2

Connect with Dan: linkedin.com/in/mooreofdan/  

About Glenn Pasch:  

"Everyone finds themselves in charge at some point in their lives. Yet many of us lack the skills to generate consistent results. My goal is to help you learn the skills to adapt and grow in your personal and business life.”  

Glenn Pasch is CEO of PCG Digital, a full service digital marketing agency that specializes in helping businesses create and deliver customers raving, recommending & returning for more. 

He is author of 2 books including "The Power of Connected Marketing" and has spoken and educated audiences throughout the US and internationally.    

 Let’s Connect:   

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/glennpasch/​

Personal Website http://glennpasch.com/​

Company website: https://pcgdigital.com/

Support for this episode comes from P CG digital. It is anywhere from difficult to impossible to manage everyaspect of the changing digital landscape. Rather than trying to do ityourself. Why not leave it to an award winning team of Digital MarketingSpecialists who have mastered it all connect your message with morepotential customers with P C G digit go to P C G Digital Com for moreinformation. All of us are so busy day in and day out and we think we'reworking towards the right goal. If I ask most people what's most importantto you, they may say well, my family is most important to me where maybe it'smy employees, where my business were my health. All of those are valid, and youalso can have multiple wise. Why are you doing what you're doing? But todaymy guest Dan, more author and Tede Speaker poses a question. Is Your? Whya lie- and he explains that, while we may say our family is most important,are we really present for them when we're with them, or are we distractedwith phone and work and other things that are pulling our attention away? So,if you're, why really is your family? Are you actually sabotaging it and whenwe unpractised, you may say my? Why is a lie, and I need to makesome adjustments? I'm really excited this. Is such an impactful of such apowerful episode? I can't wait to share with you so, let's dive into today'sepisode of you're in charge conversations that spark change withDan. More all, I dance a welcome back again sohappy to have you back on the show. So I wanted to have you back because now youcan add TEDX speaker to your resume and very proud of that. I wanted to talk toyou about two things. One is the experience of that. I think we have atendency to look at the TEDX speakers and we we love what we see, but what itwas really like going through that process number one. But then I alsowant to really dive into your your topic, which was, is your y a lie? So,whichever way you want to go first, but again, thanks for being here always apleasure excited to be on again I mean how many episodes are you on now, myfriend, by the time this airs were going to be closing in on one hundredyeah. So hopefully I gave him five this one to be one hundred, but if not I'mclose, you be ca, it be close, but now youknow the the the ten experience I mean first, a humbling because you're likeokay, you set a target. You achieve it then you're like oh now I got a deliver, so you know the the part of goingthrough it. I would say for me, was probably one of the mostchallenging because I wanted to get it so right. So there was a lot ofconflict from Yale me just roll right back. So so someone's going to belistening to this and they're going to say: Well, that's now you're there. Howdid you even get chosen that that that I think would be an interesting placeto start? How did you get there and then I definitely want to hear aboutthis. You know how you actually did it yeah the book opened the door, so the look open the door to that through some mutual friends. You readthe book and I was like Hey. This is great. I'm going to host a TEDX. I wantyou there, so that was really kind of that. That friend is to it and again.You know it was a great event:...

Matt Medro, in the Acting Academy,which, if you want to look at education at schools, you've got to check outactive academy. What they're doing with kids is amazing. They actually hadtheir students running the event o yeah yeah, so super cool, the just just thewhole, the way that they operate and teach and and empower these youngchildren that just you know, go kind of tap into that entrepreneur. Al Linesets really incredible, so that was exciting along with the journey ofgetting ready for Ted. It was just. It was a good, as I always say, it'salways good- to have internal trucks, t that whole fight of okay. What am Igoing to talk about you know is our Wyl was like a it tookme a while to land there and it finally just clicked through some conversationsI had with you, for example, and you you played a heavy hand and me bouncingideas and just being a soundboard. I'm thinking this if you'd be like I okay,that's great, but run if for what about this or punch the holes? And it's likehaving such a good circle of friends that I can reach outto that. Look at me in different ways and know how I think and go m. You know,because my goal is to be as authentic as possible. Like there's, no fluff,there's no BS, there's no! Like Hey, that's somebody else's material. Iwanted to be right online with pieces from the book, but even some newcontent that really challenged the way do think is I want you know.Obviously we all watch a lot of Ted. I picked up so many nuances of it's notme giving you action. It's me making you think, and so I really wanted topull at the emotional streams to kind of go o that hurts a little bit. I need to. Ineed to do some self reflection, so that was kind of the driver, mindeverything so so for the audience again Ted you, you were limited to sixteenminutes. Eighteen minutes, it's really like right now. It's between ten andeighteen minutes is kind of a sweet spot where they want you to land. Okay.So when you're crafting your talk, walk me through the the the: How do we Tuthe the whittling away? Ithink I've always been fascinated with ted, because it seems to your point:They're not saying here's a list of things to do. They want to inspire youto go out and question or learn or be inspired to move on and diving more sowalk us through a little bit of how did you whittle it down? How do you decidewhat sticks? What goes to come up with this focus on your message? Yeah, ifthat was the that was a challenging part too, because a you want to even inthe Frenchies are careful how much you give up because it takes the the Oh outof it. So I started just kind of breaking itinto fundamentals of you know. If I'm hitting on why first I've got a unpack.Why it's like telling a story? First, I got to tell you let's a hack, why a little bit, then Igot to get you into that state of where I start to reach in, and I start topull at some emotions, and then I've got an exit on the pieces that make yougo back and reflect on Israeli right, so it really kind of wasan interesting journey which led me into kind of the opening of why right?So the quick you know began it's so funny. When you do. Is You get throughquick, so opening up with? Why we talk about? Why as being a child and socurious? Like the purest point of curiosity, there is a big, a child,wise sky blue. Why is purple like I get wide to death right and then we talkabout as we age up a little bit more or why kind of takes a pivot or a turn,and it becomes why he? Why is this happening? Why do they have x, Wirz andyou're? So your wife starts to shift from curiosity to more of a little bitof like pity, or you know unhappiness...

...or you know kind of just diverting awayfrom your own true happiness, so it sae moves from why, as you were saying thatinquisitiveness of a child to what I heard in that description as youaged up was your wi starts to pivot a little to comparison more than justpure. Why you do and you think about it too, because again you know, I talkedabout the phone and Socialia, it's like think about it, we're constantly inthat state of comparison addiction. So it just starts to make sense,because we've been pulled away from that being just curious and we don'task questions as much, and society plays a heavy hand in that. Becauseagain, if I asked to many questions, why are you being nosy? Why are youwith my business? Why do you ask so many questions and you're like Oh just seeking to understand? I want moreinformation, but right again we go through that full phase, and you startthinking about it. You're, like wow, okay, I really have changed. I shouldask more questions. That explains a lot, so you can see people falling along inthat particular moment and then just the pole of you know, holding up thephone and saying you know, a list of this device is probably the greatestutility ever placing the palm of our hand but at the same point time thegreatest edition right and everybody's like yeah, and then you kind of youknow like, and then you kind of acquainted to you know think about thatlast time that you misplaced your phone, you didn't have service, you know all those different points andthat fear right that fear of missing out that those emotions that kind ofcome over. You, like, oh panic, I mean we've all been there and then, and thenyou kind of start to bring a back full circle, say now think about thosefeelings. Right now think about the last time you had those same exactfeelings that you're missing out. You know with your spouse, with your family,with yourself with your life right, because we get so distracted by life.We forget about our own self at the time would forget about you know: Are we going down the paththat we wanted to? Are we chasing our goals or we just simply kind of goingthrough the motion, because that's what society is cause, so it becomes aninteresting journey on the way yeah. I think that's, that's a intreater stingpoint, because a few episodes ago I interviewed the gentleman named GarlandVance and he wrote a book called getting unbusy and he was talking abouthow being busy is a badge honor and how a lot of times people are just busywithout direction they're doing things, because I rely think they should bedoing things, but they don't have a goal in mind. They don't have an endpoint so then they also default to that comparison. Right, like you, weresaying, I'm going to compare myself to someone else and then all of a suddensay well, I just have to work harder, but they may not even know why they'reworking on what they're doing or what the end result is going to be, and soyou just you, become more busy and one isworking harder. Yes, yes, exactly like that's the whole piece that I think weget hung up on is we're told hey if you're not getting up at two o'clock inthe morning and crushing it and if you're not doing this and you're, notyou're, not winning. It's like we'll wait a minute. It's like those! I loveit. I used to sal time an a multitask and then, when you start to unpack allthose different points, you wait a minute. Basically, all I am is a Jackof all and master of nut right. So you have to have intention. You have to beextremely intention in everything that you do because again, your mostprecious commodity, which is time, has to be put in the right direction oryou don't accomplish anything to your realy. Just you just kind of you livealong. If you will no and that's what you know the that gentleman said in hisbook, he his question always was...

...because it happened to him. He made aconscious decision to say what do I want, and I love this. He goes. What doyou want? The pace of your life to be like? I love that because then he saidyou once you understand that then you control, then you can work as hard asyou want towards a goal. You have a direction versus and I thought yourexample was spot on where it's I'm not up at three o'clock. I must be a loser.If I'm not working eighty seven hours a day, I'm a loser. If I'm not a tewing,forty seven things, I'm not doing enough, and so you just start doingthings to say. Well, look I'm doing things, but it's not getting youanywhere right. An maks like posting on social media,high frequency. What is it getting you? What is the intention behind whatyou're doing where I'm just posting, because that's what everybody else isdoing? Okay? Well, that takes time that's time and energyand if it doesn't fit with what you're doing he, then you got to reevaluateand I think that's the biggest thing I mean we near it allthe time, especially even in our industry right. Well, THAT'S THE WAY!We've always done it! It's like! Oh! That doesn't mean it's right right. I think it's always that idea of. If I have a direction. If I have a goal, then the actions I'mtaking are either bringing me towards us now there there are people thatposting on social media is helping them achieve. Their goal grow their baitright, that's fine, but if you're, just posting with thehope of it makes me feel good if someone likes it that that's risky,because then your your you're putting yourself worth into thisaddictive machine and then what happens when I don't get the likes or I don'tget the response. I think I should then it's either will I need to do more ornow I start doubting myself and that's a slippery slope to go down well andnot to mention. Is that taking you away from er? So ifyou're saying your your family, is your wife but you're on social media all thetime to feel that that affirmation then wait a minute here for a second, we gotto reevaluate because again, you're not putting your time buckets off, you're,putting your time in the wrong bucket, not the right bucket. So there's it's achallenge thing because you know a lot of time. People like well: What's whatis it exactly it's like? Well, there is no exactly it's whatever you dead andthat's where you've got to put it in a perspective, because what I choose todo is, is we diferent than what you choose to do or our buckets are whereour time goes? There's! No. We are individuals for the sake of beingindividuals, yes, and I it's very easy to default tothat comparison from the outside right. How many people we all know people inour lives and those of you in the audience? I'm sure you know peoplewhere you'll say: Oh, they looked so happy and then youwonder why they got a divorce or they I thought they were x, but they were onbecause that what they were showing to the world was different than the reality. But youwere comparing yourself to the image and adjusting your life to their imagewhen a reality, they weren't really that happy behindthe scenes to begin with ritely. Exactly so. Let's, let's talk aboutthat, because we've been dancing around a little bit setting it up. So the topic is your wily. I rememberwhen you reached out to me said this is my talk. Is Your Wylo and I was likeokay explain that to me: What do you mean by that? So to those of listeningwhen you say is your? Why a lie share, what your thoughts, what thatmeans and what you shared in the Ted talk around that topic yeah so simplyput using myself. As an example, I mean I easy wife, three amazing daughters.My wife is my family right, but if we...

...start being curious and askingquestions over a course of time when I wastraveling six seven days a week when you know constantly Airports AirportMeeting de meating, you know device in my hand, you know literally, my wife istalking on to me and I'm just like yeah honey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, nogood God good. So again, at that point in time my lifeI'd say, my wife was a lie. So when you start understanding what it is, you'redoing right what it is you're doing, what you're doing, who you're doing itfor what you're doing it, for you got to kind of self inspect thatand again the hardest thing we can ever do is get up every morning. Look atthat beer and say: am I doing the things that that I was supposed to bedoing right and what is that so that Pimodan measurement and that'swhere I kind of again the Wa is your wyly. I think we've all through our life. You knowwhat do you want to? Who Do you want to be when you grow up? What do you wantto be when you grow up? You know what your wit, you know, why do you do whatyou do? We've been asked at so many different ways. We give a very surface level response,because that's what we're trying to do? We've lost that curiosity or the second.Some of questions are why then it becomes a point of defensivenessbecause again wait a minute. There must be chakingthe armor here, because I'm getting I'm, you know if you're automatically goingdefensive. If someone starts to ask you a few more questions, I mean that's animmediate itle, but that was kind of the old premise to was. There was apoint in my life where I was like. Basically, my wife was a total lie andI had to reevaluate, revamp and reset the goal to. If my family is everything-and that is my wise, so creating memories, you know, because that's really kind ofhow I look at everything on my family is the goal as a create as manymemories as possible, because at the end of the ride, that's all we're lesswith it. Isn't how much money you have it? Isn't he it isn't the cars, thetoys, the whatever, whatever it's the memories and those people that youshare it with, and the majority of those memories are. You were fan sothat really kind of drove that for me. So then someone listening might push back or let me be them for you andsaying, okay! Well in that situation, your job required you to be on the road.You know leave on a Sunday leave on a Monday come back on a Thursday. So for that, if you're saying well, if myfamily was most important, does that mean then making sure thatyou're checking in with them or making sure that when you're home there, ahundred percent walk me through that because someone like say well, listen,I have to work clan I or Dan. I have to work, I mean yeah, my family, I'm doingthis for them. So how could someone make adjustments in that framework tobe living? Their family is their most important now several different ways Imean a and again that was a beauty of beautiful thing about tenis. There wasanother speaker there that literally moved to Barbados like left his jobsaid we're going to simplify life, I'm all about you know, and they went crazy,so there's the extreme right it would have been going to share it becausethere's the question. That really is that person? That's probably watchingthis right now, I'm going not sure, I'm bout in just yet or to your pointmentyeah. I got a job. Okay, not saying you got to do anything about quitting yourjob if you have a job and you're making money, but yet your family is your. Whyand you're on twenty four seven, three D, sixty five there becomes a point towhere you've got to be able to the balance is a cliche word, because it'sreally not balancing. I call it. You know basically overdrawing your accountat times, but when you walk in that door, even though you may have a somework to do, it's hey right now, I've got to put the next three hours in myfamily because they're coming off in school, we're going to have dinner andthen they're going to go to bed. So...

...that means I've got three hours on thetalent of that that I'm going to put in to get worked up. So that's where it'snot being busy. That's where it's being intentional! So right. For me, some ofthe things that I did I mean I did change jobs, but it didn't mean that the test didn'tbecome. I was able to control the job better, meaning I didn't allow thetravel to get out of control, but what I did do was set boundaries in the factof and again you'll always have relapse of saying you can give up a polefritter there, but it happens, but we have dinner and there's no devices atthe table. I think that rules more for me than anybody else in my household,but that's a fair rule right. I, but when you start setting rules andcommunicate as a family and again that's a conversation with the familylike Kayee, going to have no device table, we're going to talk about ourday were Ye. When you start setting the expectation in the standard, then itbecomes the way of life I mean. Even today I have teenage daughters and westill have no devices of the table right. So there's there's things thathappen on a way, there's no perfect for me, but the first step is acknowledging itand then making adjustments to better and each day I always say when you getup every day. You Ask yourself one thing as your brushing or chief in themirror, whatever it is, you do in the morning one over your routines is thatyou look yourself up dead in the face. You know was I better than yesterdaythe day before, like if you're constantly making progress great thedays you got a sec back. An he statement today was yesterday was a bigset back? What am I going to do different today to make up for yesterday, and when youhave those conversations- and you know if you have trit it down again somepeople off to get up her one and write their goals down an everybody hasdifferent ways. So what I would tell everybody watching is is do what works for you just becauseeverybody else is doing it doesn't mean you have to. I don't necessarily writeeverything down. I have a conversation with myself every line. It helps startthe day right. It allows me to kind of silence everything in my head and holdmyself accountable. Now I'll go into my office I'll write a few checklessthings like these are the key things I want to get accomplished. I never havemore than five because for all of you that are in the real trenches, you knowthe deal. You can have two pages of everything you want to get done to day.Good Luck, you'll get maybe one or two ducks right. I always say shootrealistic everything that you're doing has to be realistic, start with theeasiest winds and then have your bigger ones, become more of a bit or long termbecause we're humans, if you set a crazy goal that is very hard to reachand it's high up on the top of the hill and you don't get there or you get halfway and you hit some turbulents you're going to fail and go back down again.You know it's like seventy five hard challenge right. You got to set littlemiles to as to keep the momentum going that helps you get those bigger ones along way. So I just tell everybody watching: There's no perfect farminly,it's one foot in front of the other and you've got to do what work treat startwith the easy thing and then add the more complex things. If the phone isthe hardest thing for you to look out, find easier ones or just find a littlebit of time like fat, I'm going to put my phone in phone jail for thirtyminutes or an hour and be a part of dinner or whatever. I, like I,guarantee you because again I was that guy to I was Mr. you can call me andI'll answer any time any day anywhere thirty minute delay isn't going tochange the world. There's nothing! That's the house will never be on fireenough for the fact you can't disconnect for thirty to forty fiveminutes and have time with your family. No, I think just to unpack a few thingsthere that I hope you are all to be listening or watching, or you know,writing down these notes. I think it's. The words that keep popping into myhead are intentional and also being present right whenyou're at work be present at work where, if you're in a meeting be present inthat meeting, but when you come home, I...

...had very similar challenges as well,because you know running a business. You never turn off, but I did samething probably talking with you. You know a year ago, but I've been doing itwere over time. We've been doing it for a whiles. When I can wouldn't come home, everything went away, just leave it tobe present and then, after dinner, maybe half an hour go check in dothings, but I was guilty of the same thing of cookingand talking to the kids, but having a phone near me or a text came right inthe middle of a conversation and I would look away from them and go o.what's that and it could have been a text from somebody it could have been anotification. I turned all notifications off from social media ofon my phone as well, because they were distraction from me being present and Ithink to so those two words of intentionality of saying small littlewinds in order to be present, because you can do that s so again, it's not. Ineed to quit my job and go to barbadoes, but when I'm working I'm working when I'mhome I'm home, if I'm traveling, I have a ritual of calling every night tospend some time face time or whatever to because if that is your importance,well, then day shouldn't go by that you don't talk right. So I love thatintentionality. I love that idea of putting something in place to help youachieve this. Why or else your? Why is a lie and you could end up losing itbecause you're focusing on the wrong thing it, but a hundred percent and the kindof picky back on that. I mean that if you know you get a chance to watch, theten is not up yet, but when it does, but one of the things that that kind ofLe same ways into that is is that to unpack your? Why is a simple formula ofcast so curiosity right, we've got to be curious. We have. We have to haveaction, which is being intentional. You have to take action. Nothing happens,it's kind of well sank, you know a goal without action will forever be a drink.You have to put one foot in front of the other to make things happen, nomatter what intention and action are thecombination to getting things done, and then you know so. We've got that.Then we've got s self aware. You've got to have the self awareness and thediscipline to hold yourself account. It sucks it's not fun, but when you get tothat level, man things start to kind of click and then finally, you just haveto live life. As the fact of you know, you have one ticket right. One ticketon this ride called life. So when the ride is up and you step off, do you really want to be full of regretwhere you want to be full of fulfill with all the things that you did thetime you spent with your family, the things that you did for your community,the work that you you know the legs. If your work and what you achieve,whatever those things are again, you have one ticket and when you reallyframe it in you got to one ticket on this rock call life. It does changebecause there's no guarantee yeah and that right can end before you think itdoes so. You've really got to kind of accelerate your thought process andwhat you do because there's no guarantee. No, I I think that's, I think. That's Ithink. That's one of the best you know, excuse me that that thought of theticket- because you don't know when the rides can end, we all like to think weknow, but we don't know, and so every day you're making thosedeposits. And again I go back to that word intentional. Those deposits intowhat you feel is important right. So that's my why and if it's my family atthe end of the day, you should be saying what it. What what did I putinto that? What did I deposit into that account today and some days it's goingto be more some days, it's going to be...

...less. Maybe a Saturday like you saidwhere we're going on a vacation and it's fully every day is to change, tochange a chain and other days, I'm traveling, and it's just a couple but you're aware of it, yourintentional about it, and you understand that that is, and you makedecisions through that lens of what's important versus getting distracted by a myriad of other things that all of asudden will potentially claim to be like a mirage.Oh, this is way more important in your family. Oh this is going to help yourfamily and then all of a sudden you haven't made deposits. I think I think what you're talkingabout here is so important, because it's easy to just get busy forbusy sake like we talked about earlier and you wake up a couple years laterand there's that bank is closed. Well andagain. This is the other part that a self wareness on that one too, is thatwe make deposits right, but sometimes we're not aware of the withdraws weremaking. So you do the right thing. You show up the dinner table you're thereyou're, depositing into that end of that bucket right, but then you'resitting there having a conversation with your spouse and again thatnotification pops on the phone and you go and then you come back and you lostthat conversation. All of that what you just put in thatdo what you just deposit! You just drew a deficit now because you just saidyou're not important to me right and for those not watching. Basically Dan,I mean you know, for the people. Listening, you know Dan sitting theregoing just looking away right, all of a sudden that notification became moreimportant than the person you're talking to so there's your. Why is alie because if you, my spouse, is the most important in this conversation,then me getting up and walking to go, get something even if it's something todrink is like well, where the hell are you going or you're looking at yourphone or you hear a Ding and you're you're you become addicted to it. Those things you may not think areimportant because you can say well, I'm still here, I'm still listening, butare you? Are you if you flush the toilet down? If you, I think one of thebest things you ever said was what happens that? That's why I loved yourtalk. Is that feeling of when you don't have service, when you have a feelingthat you can't connect or you ran out of where it's broken, you literally getnauseous yeah, but do you do that? For if your spouse, like I'll say mostpeople would say no, I don't, and I think that's why it's so important todiscuss this topic and that's Kaye. We go through life and it goes back to theticket rights. You have one ride on it. You know, but yet you're missing the boat, because youyou can't live without your phone. If it's disconnected you have this feeling,but then you can go through life. You know your kids, your wife and not missa bet. Do things and totally take it for granted and then all of a suddenone day when that ride comes to in the amount of regret that comes over you,it's like you didn't have to you, those to h h. So I something popped into my head.It's a slight Pinot, but I think this is a can apply also to this idea ofbeing present. So great a lot of people will say there: Why is their family?Some people will say their. Why is their career right? They might say, Idon't have a throat right. So then, then my business is my Wy or my team ismy. Why so put put this same conversation throughthe Lens of business, where, if so easy, I I'm sitting here saying my team isthe most important thing or my business. My employees are the most importantthing to me: pivot, just a little into the businessside of in. Why could be a lie? Yeah?...

No, absolutely so! First Time I saythis two F, as we say into this, is that you're? Why there isn't one wi there'sa multitude of wife? So don't think that okay well family, it can be familyand business. There can be layers. No one put rules on this. So as we say wenow into the business side of it, let's have some fun first and four months, ifyou want you want to share your team, how much you matter keep showing upwaiting rescheduling meetings. You basically just said the ultimate signal:How much they matter right. I've been guilty show up five ten minutes lategot tied up on another call. There's, no I mean bottom line is: If you valueyour people, you have to show up and you have to be present, meaning if I'mhaving a meeting and all sudden go. Oh, I got to take this call. It's dangerous were the same roles.Apply. People are people right if you're, if you're having a one on oneand you're distracted, that's why I say: meetings are dangerous and, andeverybody watching a running company K were have intentional meetings meetingon a meeting about a meeting needing just to get people to be likefluffiness like stop. If you're having a meeting, what is it? What is it we'retrying to accomplish? There's a point to the meeting if you're having likeweekly updates, I mean we kind of you know again for us we'll have like you know, weekly updates and again youkind of get a state of and what everything's going on in the businessand it's an overview. It's only x amount of time, and then you move intothe some of the more critical meetings. But again our life is full of meetings.So, especially with the team, we have to show them the same respect we withshow our family. It's that same exact, intentionality of I'm here, I'm on time.I'm present. What do we want to accomplish? You know especially, and itcan be the flip side too. I know we're talking about leaders running themeetings, but how many times we've all been in meetings where someone else istalking and we're looking at our phone or there now we used to have a rule ofno computers, no phones in the meetings. You know turn them off turn them over.Whatever several world out, some people would sit there and say: Oh I'm gonna,you know take notes, but then g chats up there they're working. Sorealistically, I think this is again going back to that intentionality andpresent. How much time do we waste in meetings, because people weredistracted by something else? And next thing you know they say. Oh sorry, den.What were you saying and to one disrespectful to we just wasted timeversus we're going to spend ten minutes? Seven minutes five minutes whatever thenumber is all hyper focused and we can all get out of here versus a meetingfor an hour and you go. This could have been an email right, that's the go oversaid. No, it is a joke and I do think some of it's how you set your cultureup. I mean you've got to give people the opt out right because again somepeople get pulled into meetings that are in there and they're like thisthere's nothing. I can contribute here right, like you got to have the I. Noone should feel stuck in a meeting. I always say: If you're, not if there'sno value here, there's nothing to contribute. You have the right to back out. Youknow, but at the same point in time it especially now because you can't putyour device away because nine times out of ten were doing zoon calls or Googleleads or whatever so you're on advice, but I think that you've got to haveintentionality. I think that you've got to depending on the type of meeting youknow, there's flexibility and some humor and some kind of you know I cankind of go off the rails a little bit and then you bring it back so the rigidstuff for trying to move something along to the point you have a cadence,keep you know, hurt all the cats get to the objective, get to the end resultand to your point, could it be? Could I start on an email if it ees a progressto that great, but again it's just having that conversation with the teamsetting the guidelines to how you guys want to navigate meetings orconversations and then being intentional in those moments and havingsome some accountability measures right,...

I mean there's nothing wrong with alittle bit of team Cara. You know team kind of coming to get and say, Hey Dan.Do we now not a good time for you? No! No! No! I'm sorry right! You got me right. Shame on meand that's part of also having a good team. If your team can't call you out, especially if you're a leader orwhatever, then you got to question some of your leadership because again we're in this together, the team isreally the mechanics of everything we're just there to clear the runway.So we've got to be all accountable to because again, if we're just saying I'mso busy, what I'm doing is excusable. What you're doing is it it's? Itdoesn't work that way right so has the leader pace the pack? So ifyou're captain I'm on my phone and half in a meeting, you can't expect yourteam to be in the meetin either. Well that the the poor leader would do that all of a sudden they puttheir phone down, say: Okay! Well now now you put all your phones away,because now I'm ready I'm mentally here so snap to order when someone else ispresenting and they're sitting there on their phone or I've seen it a milliontimes is the let me go take this call, and everyone goes and now we're stuckhere for twenty minutes like we can't move the meeting forward, till Dancomes back and where's Dan, and next thing you know we're going on andeverybody starts or but the energy of the meeting just goes. This is why Ihate meetings versus ignoring that I mean literally, if you give your phone,if you left your phone in the office and you're in another office for ameeting, you wouldn't know that the phone rang you'd go pick it up later onand go oh glen called. Let me call Glen Back Right. I think that's where everything we've been talking about isthat intentionality of being present, because the people here are importantto me and it could be my family, it could be my friends, it could be. Itcould be my with my employees or my boss or whoever the fact is when I'mhere with you it's important to me. So nothing else should matter so then actthat way agree and also shows some humility. I mean I can'tsell any times I'm hot apologize in the team, because I mean I made thecardinal sin right or hey yeah this question: for You, Oh yeah, sorry was he hating attentioninstead of trying to like ov through it? It's like not out dude. My bad, like,like you've, got to follow the sort a couple times because again we're humanwe're going to be nobody's perfect, so you're going to as I call you're goingto have relaxed the question is: is: Can you catch it? Meaning there's beentimes where I'm like talking to my wife and the phone start, and I go I'm sorryand- and I just side arm in to the side of going sorry like it got me, but I'mstill here yeah and then other times like I'm in it and he and then thetalking because hurricane to me now I'll just stop talking to you. So,second, I go silent right, I'm like Yep, I know lily, but again it'saccountability and that's what I'm saying you should never be off limits right to to your family or to your team.I don't care what your position is and how mine I do you think you are. Weshould never be off on the its you can go why I think a oreto the line, andthen you get the exception. Does it yeah? No, I think that's what wasinteresting. What you were saying earlier is- and you and I share thesame philosophy of you- know my job as the leader. Whatever position, I'm inis no important than anybody else is. I just do different things, but if you'regoing to build a culture which is a word to gets thrown around all the time,but if you're going to build a successful team and a success e, U R eSaint e, that could be a butzer...

...culture and no one knows what it is.But I think to your point is that if we're building an organization wherewe're all focused on the goal and we're all working hard, that we should all asteammates, no matter what your rank is we're successful to that point, therewas a gentleman. I was having a conversation with who was a new generalmanager and took over an automobeel dealership, but this could be anybusiness right and it was failing and one of the best things he said he didwas he took everybody's business cards away and he replaced every businesscard and everybody had the title manager. He says you all worked todrive this into the ground, we're all going to work together to build it up.So by giving everyone the title of manager, everybody was empowered totalk. Everyone was empowered to fix the problems without fear of I can't saythat to Xyz I thought that was just a brilliant strategy, and you know fouryears later it's one of the top most well run organizations I've run acrosswell, and that's a key word right there that you said it's the word in power.If you want people to do their job and they Yahoudi abouthow many business we go into, and it's like, I can't find good people. Theydon't want to work. You know all these things that go on now. There's sometruth, and some of it so are we also have to ask more questions. Is, is whatare we doing? What's our contribution to the problem right because again,there's those leaders that are very micro manager style, which means youcan't seize without it coming through me. So then, therefore they're never goingto have an idea right and then there's others whereit's like. Yes, I empower you just like you were talking about you. You havethe same power I do now. If something goes sideways and again, I have thesame method all go as well as I didn't hire someone to make my job harder right. I hired someone to do that joband empower them to make the decisions. If something's doesn't work right orthere's, there's something went wrong. I'm not going to go, tear a new one. Ijust just say: Let's have a conversation. What right, why? Firstoff, why I imagine that? Why did you get it? Why did we do this right? Whatwas the goal of that decision? What were you trying to solve and if youcould do something differently, based on what what occurred? What would you have donedifferently right because, again everybody? So we are so buzzword. Cacheis of you know a lot of business fail fast and fail. Often, then you go totheir business. It's like a second someone makes a mistake. They'regetting crucified you're like yeah, totally want to fail here right right,so so so on that point, I think, as we pivot a little bit oneone last Pavit here to take that, because I think we would be remiss because I know youexplain it so well is this idea of if I have a team- and Itrain them really well to do their job, to the point that I don't have to whatyou mentioned micro managed. Well, I feel that wow, my team is reallyexecuting well for some, that's scary, they think. Well, maybe they don't needme versus what you and I were talking about before. We jumped on today thisidea of by clearing off some of those things off of my plate and empoweringthem to do this. My plate is empty and I can add on new things that will helpthe organization move forward versus we're both trying to do some one's jobversus no, that's your job. I have other things to do talk about that yeah. So there's a lot of differentFUNATO to it. But essentially you know...

...there comes a point where you have tobe in the leads. There's time where you got to come out of the week, I can't help someone grow. If I don'tunderstand the job, so I get in the weeds shoulder shoulder. We go throughwhatever that might be, but again as we kind of grow and develop it moves pastthe point where I get that comes off my plate. I can fill it with anotheranother task. Another you know goal another action whatever it might be andit changes because again, depending on your role, whether you're you know theCEO, a president, a manager, whatever there's other things. So it's you know,frein up more time to go coach and develop it's freeing up time to go,seek that next partnership or that bigger deal or you know the the futureof the Y. U N, W platform, if you're running a software company, there'salways stuff to be put on the play, the poestion is: What are you allowing toget on your plate? That is preventing you from the bigger pictureand and that's always a challenge always has been a challenge an and I dofeel fortunate. I mean obviously we're smaller company. So it's a little biteasier. I mean I get all title Damn you know when you get more people, itbecomes more challenging and like it's all scale, I mean if you build theright people, you build the right Bension as you move up and you buildmore people and you build more layers of management. If that management hasthe same mantra that you do and doesn't fear their job so that they have to bethe one to look at what I'm doing all the time it's getting it done, it canmultiply, and if you understand that- and you understand- hey, there's justsome people that work and don't work for positions, it does change the game. But yes, I don't have a a fear of I've got tovalidate my position or if all these people are doing these things and myplay looks different. I don't have any fear, because it's like I get to dosomething else, there's other things. It starts to free up and clear theclear out to where it's almost it's also a recipricate T. I've clearedtheir runway, so they can get the planes off the ground and run run theway they need to. By doing that, it almost does the same thing for me sothat I can get off the ground and focus on the things that are critical to thegrowth of the company. Well, because again, if we're all doing it, theneverybody wins. There's more growth in the company which feeds whether that'srevenue, whether that's people, whatever everybody, starts to winbecause they feel all of those impacts. But yet the point is they'recontributor. What and and well what I like aboutthat is and again a few pepe. I want to make sure you're, not misunderstanding.What Dan was saying is that if I'm working with the team, if I need toscale and grow eventually, you know if I was had a team of five people and weexpand it, and now we have ten people well, eventually, I have to get someoneelse up there. If five is the limit and then eventually, as we scale, I havenow three or four people who are that middle layer. That's my team! I'm notworried about the bottom people I'll check in really my team is that and, asI scale up, there's always a team under me, but to your point is: If we're allfocused on doing the same job, we're only going to get so far because noone's able to pick their head up and go hey. We need to go that way. We're just,as you say, we're all in the weeds and someone's going yeah, but we should begoing that way. So we have to clear that place, but it is a strange feeling, as you escalate up,because you may lose that that I'll call it like the buzz or thehigh of really being in the weeds, it's very addicting and then all of a suddenyou're sitting there feeling well, I'm not really having an impact, but youare because your impact is on that next layer down that impact that so almostthere was a gentleman two weeks ago I interviewed and- and he said somethingI thought was spot on. He said the higher you move up in leadership. Itbecomes more about building...

...relationships with your teams, verses.You know going down into the tactical, because you've left the tactical now,because you have to build relationships with the layer of people who arecoaching, those people on the front lines, and I thought that was a reallygood way and relationships building relationships, don't feel they feeldifferent. But to your point is: If you're,accepting of that, you then are looking in a differentdirection to be able to do more for your team, a hundred percent, andthat's just but it's uncomfortable, and it's simply, you know kind of put inperspective to for those watching is just think of it. This way, you alwaysshould be training your replacement, if you're, if you have that mindset a that comes back to self awareness,I'm comfortable mild skin, I do what I do. It should be acknowledged, but atthe same point in time, if you're going to get to the next level, which is, ifsomeone's chasing their career right, it's that next level, then why aren'tyou training your replacement? Well, the fear is, if I train you to dowhat I need, what I'm doing the fear is well they're going to fire me and keepdam for whatever reason, because now again that also depends on the personwho's above me right as we escalate up always remember. If I'd get promoted toteam leader, I'm on someone else's team right, so I'm I sit at the table ofsomeone else. Now, who I report to so the question really is: is that personempowering me you're grooming, me or training me and moving me up? If not,then I feel well. Listen. If I train somebody, I'm not getting that pull upto say, someone's looking to groom me to take their place, the only option is,if I get these other people really good, then I'll get fired. But to your pointa really well organization should always be saying Dan. I want you toreplace me, but I can't have you replace me to if you find somebody toreplace you and that should constantly be the conversation throughorganizations in order to scale, because then it goes back to what wewere talking about the. Why? If the employees really are the most importantthing, then I should be hoping and working towards them improving theirposition. Their skill set to do more. If that's really important, then I haveto, as you said earlier, will act on it and do it not just lip service andpercent and the really kind of mind melt everybody on that point. You justpay this. If you have a fear of being fired, then then you've got to think toyourself. Well, if I'm not going to level someone up because they mightfire me or some one there there's so many different ways. I've heard itspawning. Someone asked the question: How do you get past it? I go. I look at it as if I'm going to getfired, I'm going to get fired on my terms, not somebody else's H, you don'tcontrol what you don't control. So someone is a like you. They can fireyou if you're, if you, if you want to run in Fer all the way, that's how thatworks. So, at the end of the day, if I going to get fire, I'm going to getfired because I pushed all in and I'm going to I'm going to, let it happenfor me eating a stun, my ground. I did my job. I pushed through the barriers.If that wasn't good enough and you fire me, I'm not considering that a loss of myend, no, you just are on the wrong team right that that that's the key is thatyou're on the hundred hundred percent right and if you've got that kind ofmindset and that kind of Mojo boiling for you, as we always joke you're, onlya phone call or a social media post away for being rehired, because peoplewill know who you are by the job that you do and again that separateseverybody in in industry. Is everybody come in and has great lip service? It'sthe action that you do, that will submit Your Business Status and whatyou can accomplish. I didn't get to where I'm at justbecause I said: Hey, I'm good at whatever. Like none of that happened,it happened because people saw the action they saw. The result talk ischeap and everybody. I mean how many...

...times when I'm sure you and I couldshare stories back and forth. Somebody comes in as a beautiful resume man.They have mastered the art of interviews they get in and, likenothing happens right and you like what no you were sold the bill of goods orthey sounded good and everyone was on their best behavior, but I think thatthat's such a to just sort of wrap this all and windthis down with just as these final thoughts is, it goes back to the y. If you're, why is for your family foryour company for your friends for yourself, then that means I'm present. I wantpeople, I am concerned not in a bad way, but my action should be aligned in away that I'm not worried about what people say behind my back, meaning thatif somebody asks somebody about you know, let's say you. I know whatthey're going to say and it's all going to be the same, because your actionsled to have people having that opinion of you whether they worked with you.They met you, they heard about you, it's all a line, but if you're constant,if your, why isn't important or you're not present or your actions don't align?That's where you get that disconnect of well, I hope they don't find out, oryou know little song and dance or what I call jazz hands and you're not reallydelivering on it, because you were not intentional to begin with. Oh yeah, andit's only a matter of time. I mean that's the thing: If you're playing the long game you'vegot to have the depth, the short game is exactly what it is. It's very short:When you have no substance, your flighting you're not focused, you canflush it out, even the best people that say. Oh I, you know, I write my goalsdown. I do this, I it be on Presche man, you know some of us get moreexposure than we needed times and you just kind of go. Wow, there's gonna, be some people whoare going to be like wow didn't see that so they also, I mean you and I haveseen people just it's the story and thestory can run for, but then you go well. Why do you keep moving jobs right? Whyare you always in different places and versus? If that really was a mind, itdoesn't make sense right. That's where the as you said, the ader. Theadvertisement doesn't live up to the reality, but I think there's onecritical point before we wrap up that everybody takes a second adheres. Isthat your? Why could be something as simpleas it I'm going to make a comfortable living and I'm going to enjoy my life? That is one hundred percent okay, yeahand we're in a society where they don't make that? Okay, what is kind of funny? I think we gotto take a step back and realize it. It doesn't matter what you said itbeautifully. People will talk, you know by HydrabadSower, and you get to the points where, if you're really comfortable in yourskin, you don't care, and I think that that is a huge huge. Huge piece is whenyou get comfortable in your own skin and you're wise as clear as it can be.Nothing else matters right right. No, I think it's I was listeningto and I've said it and I'm not always as good as I will. It will sound like.I am and I'm not as that O my head gets a little twisted at times, but at theend of the day I know who there's a circle of people, family andvery close friends at they came to me and said: I'm disappointed that wouldmean something and have an impact. Where someone, I don't know someone whoI have in you know even a nice relationship with that doesn't bother me, but that goesback to you if you're aligned and...

...that's your goal, that goes back towhat you want your pace of life to be. You know Gary Baner, chuckle, Hays Tosssays that hey listen. If you make F sixty seven, eighty, whatever thenumber is, and you want to play on two softball teams and you want to takeyour family off and that's great for you great own it, but don't complainright. If you're then going to complain about something then say well there. Ilie the Shach, you have to change, but if you're saying Nope, this is what Iwant going back to the the gentleman dor vants. That's the pace I want formy life like his. He designed his life, where he and his wife Take Fridays offand that's their time. Their kids are in school and that so he works fourdays and he finds the revenue in ways to make his money in those four days.So he can do it because that's the pace of his life and he's comfortable withit until nothing wrong with it, nothing wrong and he's happy until he says.Maybe I want to change, but then that's a going back to what you're saying it'sintentional of now on a changing versus the complaining. I didn't do this right.It all his back to understanding what your Wye is, making it intentional,creating a strategy creating a plan executing it and then long term get there versusgetting beat up in the short term based on outside influences, Righta again,nothing's easy, don't there's! No like nothing, Sethe's, no Ay! That's why Ilove everyone's. Like you know, you look at someone else sat like what'seasy, it's like! No, not not! No! NO TRUST ME! It's not all right! So listen!This has been phenomenal. You and I could just sit and chat. Oh Long, longtime I love talking with you so two things first and then we'll getinto our final questions. Just your name of your book again,because I have it and I just want people to know where to get it. Thename of the book is, do more, so do mo already got a plan, your on an Yep getmore skull: Fre Gular, Amore, audison com, great great, great okay. So, atthe end of every show we ask questions, so these are have sort of titled ThemOne. The one thing so we're going to ask you a few things, so one place that you would like to havetraveled that you haven't been to yet o that's a good one. We were you know wewere talking about that too one place. I want to travel becausewe're big Disney people, I'd like to go to all of the disneys outside of the USwho that would be interesting. Okay, what'sthe one food that end of the day, you think you cookthe best? Oh no doubt I mean even you've ouchedthis one. I could any type of stake. I mean I crushstakes so yeah, I'm yeah that Wolcome I got the title. Come okay, okay, themovie or show that when you run across it on TV you stop and you watch it. Well, there's a few but I'll go with myfavorite rocky okay. What's the book for that you'relistening to or something that you're reading or listening to that'sinspiring you right now that you would share with others your next five months. Great we'll put that into the shownotes. Two questions bring your close family, close friendsall together in the room described Dan in one word: what is the most commonword? They will use an there's a lot of me. I got one onhere to you probably answer for me and hold on. I got a notification I'll sayno body yeah, I would say most to ars home, humble okay yeah. I would. Iwould agree with that. Last last question out of everything we talkedabout,...

...if there's one thing, you hope that thelisteners take away from this conversation. One thing: What do youthink that one thing you would hope they would take away? would be I, theone thing is just look in the mirror and challenge what they're doing and,if they're, on solid ground great, but just having that honest moment withyourself, because at the end of the day, that's all that matter. It's just youagainst you. I love that love that love that well, listen thanks again, Iappreciate it. You know how much you mean to me. You've been a subphenomenal supporter for me as well. So where can people connect with you onsocial media and you should folks connect with Dan? Where can they findyou? I am on pretty much every channel you go tomy site: Do more get more more of Daco than done yet pretty much easy to get ahold of and again, if I can help anybody, you want to shoot me at demand.Have a question you want to. You know, challenge this alittle bit Sam full of it. I love to connect always up for conversation, andI would highly recommend it because he will. He will challenge you. He makesyou think that is one good thing so again Dan. Thank you! So much Iappreciate that now for all of you listening again, do not forget toplease subscribe to the podcast wherever you listen t be an an apple orspotify or whatever platform, or jump over to youtube subscribe. If you wantto watch Dan an is conversation, I really appreciate- and I know there's alot of places where you can listen to content. The fact that you spend sometime with Dan and me means the world to make. Please make sure you share thisout, there's a lot of people that could use this information and, as always,please rate the podcast also comment below this way. I know what you like,what you don't like and who you'd like me to interview as well, so as they sayat the end of every episode, you're in charge, but Dan has now, given you afew more things to help you become better, both professionally andpersonally, so that you become the leader that you want to be thanks again,I look forward to seeing you guys on the next, so.

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