"You're In Charge" with Glenn Pasch
"You're In Charge" with Glenn Pasch

Episode 95 · 2 weeks ago

What Does Personal Accountability Really Mean? with Marc McGurren

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

What does personal accountability mean in today's environment. As a leader are you holding yourself to the same accountability for action as you do your team or fellow employees? 

Are you aware of what your strengths and weaknesses are? How do you improve yourself? 

In this episode, Marc McGurren shares with Glenn his journey as a leader and how he had to face himself and make certain changes to his life.

And as Marc asks in this episode "Are you happy with who you see in the mirror?" 

Hope you enjoy this powerful episode.

Don't forget to subscribe, share and rate the show!!!!

About Marc McGurren

Marc McGurren is an entrepreneur at heart and the proud co-founder of McGurren Consulting. Prior to creating McGurren Consulting he was a partner with Brian and Glenn Pasch at PCG Companies and Internet Director for a nine-store auto group in Texas. For almost six years at PCG he helped dealerships all across the country sell more cars through his proven processes, training, and best practices.

Now with the formation of McGurren Consulting with his wife Amber McGurren, they continue their training with clients on an even more intimate level. McGurren Consulting was formed out of the passion of Marc and Amber to help dealers be more profitable in an ever-changing digital world.

Connect with Marc : https://mcgurrenconsulting.com/

About Glenn Pasch: 

"Everyone finds themselves in charge at some point in their lives. Yet many of us lack the skills to generate consistent results. My goal is to help you learn the skills to adapt and grow in your personal and business life.”

Glenn Pasch is CEO of PCG Digital, a full service digital marketing agency that specializes in helping businesses create and deliver customers raving, recommending & returning for more. He is author of 2 books including "The Power of Connected Marketing" and has spoken and educated audiences throughout the US and internationally.  

Let’s Connect: 

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/glennpasch/​

Personal Website http://glennpasch.com/​

Company website: https://pcgdigital.com/

Support for this episode comes from P CG digital. It is anywhere from difficult to impossible to manage everyaspect of the changing digital landscape. Rather than trying to do ityourself, why not leave it to an award winning team of Digital MarketingSpecialists who have mastered it all connect your message with morepotential customers with P C G digital go to P C G, digital com for moreinformation, personal accountability, it's a word togets thrown around, or we all think we do a very good job of that. But are youhappy with the person that you see in the mirror? That's really what personalaccountability means! Are you delivering what you should bedelivering to those close to you, those you interact with at work? The reasonwhy this topic came up was brought in Mark Mc Guran, who travels around theUnited States with his company. Helping teams perform better and focusing onthe leaders, because a lot of times the leaders don't understand how to holdtheir team accountable and hold themselves accountable to develop thisand along this conversation mark, was brave enough to share how hehad to look in the mirror for himself personally, because he was lettingalcohol get in the way of his life so that accountability allowed him to lookinto Mer and say. Is this the direction I want, because I need to take charge so that I can bebetter for my family better for myself better for my company better for myclients and so for the past four years. He has been sober and he shares thatstory of what it took and how that his journey could help others, be it thatthey are the cause of toxicity in the workplace, they're working in a toxicworkplace relationship, you name it. Personal Accountability is not as easyas it sounds, and I want to thank mark for his bravery of being so open toshare his journey with us. So, let's dive into today's episode of UrineCharge conversations that park change with Mark Magura, all right mark, so just fortransparency, we've known each other for a very long time and I've seen your journey as a leader, someone who, whenwe were working together, you know you took over a whole division built adivision. So I want to talk about that you're out working with teams, buildingteams making teams more successful. So in your mind, when you are arriving towork with a team, who's asked you to come in what are some of the key thingsthat are missing, that either the previous leader either didn't know howto do or just took their eye off the ball. The great question when Yeah andso we've known each other for quite a while- and it's been fun doing workingwith you in the team and now and doing what I do now. That's one of thebiggest things I focus on is building sustainability. You know as a as aconsultant that comes in and trains. You know my job is to work myself outof a job, and one way to do that is through. Accountability is tosustainability, and the biggest thing that I found when working with dealersand teams all across the country is the fact of a lot of folks. Don't know howto hold their team accountable at a high level. You know, and what they'lldo they'll have a meeting here beating there, but it's not ingrained in theirculture. Accountability. Coaching training is not you know consistent, and so that's oneof the biggest things that I'm a huge huge proponent on is thatsustainability, accountability and so getting a routine in place, gettingliterally a process in place for the manager to coach train and lead thatteam on a daily basis, and so I found...

...most teams aren't being heldaccountable to the high level that I believe they want to be held. I think people thrive in structurepeople thrive in that ability, no, not micromanaging, but with that managingwith that leading and with that coaching on a daily basis. Okay, sothere's a couple things to unpack one is you mentioned, there's not a process for training,there's a process for doing a lot of rot. Let's just assume that if I'm onthe team and here's my job description, someone has written out a process forme to say here the things you're daily. You know your job is Posti, but whatyou're saying is is that we don't a lot of times. We don't have a process wherethe leader of that team, the manager of that team, has a schedule or a processof one. How to train someoneor whole brack, accountable. Number two is howoften so right your opinion. How often should or when you're sayingsomeone's holding them accountable. How often should the manager be inspectingor coaching developing, to help their team become better? It's a great question. I think,depending on what that team is doing there, you know firm, an automotiveprocess standpoint. It allows for a daily base. So it allows you to go infrom following up with the consumer thatit's there's so many opportunities that if you don't hold your team, ancoutonais basis, you look up and you go holy crap, it's the middle of the monthand we aren't signing the cars well. Why we got complacent, we got we got inthe routine of just doing right, because that's what I find a lotof people come in will do my job. I Kin, theoretically, the punch in punch outright and I checked the box right. Well, I did what I'm supposed to do. Well, technically, yes, you check the box,but did you move that ball? For? Did you do everything you're capable of doing tocomplete your job? You know to the best of your ability. First is just doing itto say yeah. I did it okay, so so in that, in that point you know my wife who used to be insales. She used to always say the further way you get from the money, theless important not in you are but your job. So really, if you're like in yourexample here, if I'm in sales or I'm close to customer interaction, rightthey're interacting face to face in retail, be at hospitality sales thatneeds more inspection, because the interactions happening all the time. Sowe need to make sure the we're delivering the right customerexperience or, to your point, is they're executing at a high level togenerate opportunities to sell right, absolutely you know, and so to fullcircle about your question. I think it's a daily that you know the closerto that money that custer facing it allows you. I mean you're in best byright. If you you're were blue shirt and best spy, that's training all thetime right. You right have that opportunity every single day with somany customers, and so with that said, as if it's further away, I think that'seither way. I can't speak to the project, but I will say this is that most employees need that structure mostin right as need that ability teams the that ability to where we're keepingthem on path now are you? Are you going? Did you do x today? Did you do XistoDay, probably not necessarily the further way that structure is but againit is that accountability that touching base- and this is the thing that Ifound- is that it shows the team that you care number one m right. You know,and two is that you are watching right...

...what they're what they're doing mattersyou know, I think a lot of times. What happens? Is these employees, these team?You know these folks that are working. It's like I'm doing my job right. Itdoesn't really matter right. So on that point, then so onthat point ties into what you had said earlier. Soif I'm, let me I'll be the counterpoint to this a manager or someone there. Youcome in to give me this advice and they say: Well, that's micromanaging ortheir adults. They should know so in your mind, what's the differencebetween micromanaging versus what you're talking about is helping peoplebe accountable to excellence? Let's say every day: it's a great question. I think thatmicromanaging from my own perspective is someone literally watching everymove. It's knit picking everything right of analyzing and then walking youthrough every nuance of the task for the job you're completing right,whereas that leading managing and accountability is you're, giving thatteam the freedom to do their job. What you're doing is you're looking atdepending on what your key performers indicators are your KPIS you'rewatching their Kpis on a daily basis, you're looking at their activities on adaily basis and if needed, right, you are watching what they're doing rightfrom that in their mind, potentially net picking but you're, not side byside with them. You are watching their task. You are insuring their own taskand so you're not over their shoulder. You know right infecting them, but froma far you're able to see what they're doing if they're on task- but this isthe thing that I found is a lot of mangers will look for a far they'regoing. They are checking the boxes right, they're doing what they shouldbe doing, and you know that's Ol thing the devils and the details you do needto ensure to get the highest level of execution from your team. Are theydoing it with excellence, and sometimes that does you know especially thatcuster facing that forward facing its nuances? It's finding those areas ofopportunity that, unless you're watching that conversation or listeningto that conversation, you miss out on that they do what they're supposed todo, but it's in those moments, you're able to coach them going hey- and thisis this- is the kicker of what I found of leading when they are able to dowhat they're doing you ask him the question: Why not in the condescendingway hey, you know he glani is there reason we did x, and this is the keyand how you grow your team, as you think these tell you walk if you'regeneal interested in going hey. Why did we do this they'll tell you and you go.You know what that's a great you're thinking is a hundred percent correctright. Let me show you had a better way to execute right that job you know, andwhat you're doing is an with that daily coaching and thinking. What I like tosay is: I want to change how people think, in the sense that of theirexecution, because if I can change what they think right and what they're doingright it becomes ingrained and who they are it's there. It's not just sayingyou know, Mark I'm doing what you're telling me to do. I'm doing acts rightand they just kind of go through the motions, yeah somebody a yeah. So we,where I'm hearing what I love about this is so what we're saying is the initial laying out of the tasks you have to beinvolved right. So that could be saying micro managing run that I have to showthem a well. I have to be there. I have to watch you, but eventually you haveto back away correct the danger is, I can look across the room and youcould look busy absolutely, but I'm not...

...necessarily sure one hundred percentyou're doing everything correctly or how could I be better, which goes backto what you were saying initially? Is We have to create a process to say,there's a difference between daily observation, right thinking of a coachon the sidelines watching the play happen right so I'm watching it, butthen I have to break it down and find times during my week to one on one.Let's look at the tape: Let's listen to the call. Let's walk you through yourprocess so that you're constantly tweaking their, as you said, their mind,to understand new opportunities, how to add to their tool box of things thatthey can execute to deliver results. But it's this balance of breaking downthe the the thought of a manager is, if I'm doing one on one or if I'm givingthat detail, feed that that's micromanaging reality. It sounds fromyour perspective. That's just good coaching and developing your people togrow absolutely, and I think that's that's the thing Lanas and that's howyou create that sustainability. We're talking about you put in that process.You put in that. What do you have a cram right? Put it that process in yourscrim? If you don't have that, depending on your what you're doing putit it's in your schedule, it's a non negotiable tope right that you willspend time managing your time, and this is the thing- and this goes back to theaccountability of the leader, HMM right, and so it's one thing to hold that teamaccountable you and and to do that. But then it's sporadic I've seen. I don'thave time to train. Well, I'm too busy a in the train. The best teams, I'veever found literally train on daily bases. The leader of the organizationbelieves in training the leader. The origination is it's ingrain and whatthey do. That's that accountability we're talking about because becausethey know they realize that it's got to be. It's got to be onthe forefront of what you're doing every single that. So what you'resaying is in this situation. These leaders look at training to say thatgoes on my schedule. First Yeah and I work everything else around that whereI I know, I have to work with each personindividually, once a m once a week twice a month, whatever whatever thenumber is. But again, I think this is that thatpivot, like you're, saying where, if I'm investing in people this wayright, then they want me to come. Like you said, it's almost you'reencouraging that that interest you're in curteous, when, if not when I seeyou as the leader coming, my first reaction is: What did I do wrong rockscoming? What ever right verses marks coming like a good coach who's going tosay this is great great here's where we can work on I'm Herre to help you, butdo you think? That's just. Do you think that's hard to break for someone whonever received it themselves, meaning they're mimicking what they sawpreviously and they're saying? Well, no one ever did that to me so and look atme now, so that style must work. So I was not involved in that I had. Ihad from my leader perspective, mad peers. That kind of took me n, O theirwing right. I to seek that out, but no, I remember I'm an automotive and likejust like you said. If the I remember where M office was, was a class fall?If I saw that be there coming towards me, I'm like, Oh man. What did I do? It was like what's wrong because he wasnever a pop and even check on it. It was we got to talk right versus it's anormal thing, and so I learned with that particular neither is to see. Iwas proactive with that either, but I was never trained. My training was go,follow Don Griffin and do what he does...

...right, and so it is difficult in thereason. This is what what I help do. How folks do isthere is so many times where you have that in natality right you insuccessful, you eat scales, person, you do get. You know your raise yourpromotion, but they never were done that they never taught that right andthey don't know how to train, how to coach right. What the look for, and sowhat I've done, and actually you helped me create that years ago, was a literalcheck list from your time in the coal centers. You know many many years agoof going let's go through, did they do x, Y Z and from the? If you look at that piece of paper, youcan think a look at it. It's a micro maging, it's not for the necessarilyfor the person, you're coaching, it's for a play book. If you will right whatare one coaching right, it gives them that structure gives them. Because,again it's like hey mark, I want to train. I believe you gland. I want todo this now. What right and that- and I agree- and that's sort of you know, asI say, a lot of times on the show, is that's the reason why I started this.was there are a lot of people who get promoted? Like you say, I'm a very goodsales person, I'm a very good exis, whatever my job is, and now all of asudden, I'm in charge of people, and everyone goes figure. It out reallyright understanding how to coach, how to develop what isthe boundary or that line of feeling that I'm micromanaging or defaulting towhat I was trained, which was a lot of times just telling people what to do oryelling at people to get performance versus coaching and developing. Youlike. I want to pit it because you mentioned something and I don't want itto slide by. Is that idea of complacency or notcomplacency success when all of a sudden you're starting to hit success?So you've put in this time and you're coaching your people and you'refollowing your coaching schedule, and you have your checklist and I know Ihave to talk the mark and I'm doing it and all of a sudden, the result startshowing up right. I've seen it and you probably have tois all of a sudden. We take that success for granted or we take the team's performance for grantedwhere we stopped doing the things that got us there and next thing you know it starts tocreep. You know performance creeps down a little bit. We can blame it on a lotof things. We've been bromid on the economy, we complained it on thecompetitors complaining on every everything, but all of a sudden youwake up and you go whoa what happened so talk about that? Come and againcomplacency is a bad word, but maybe it's just our focus shifts to somethingelse, because we think that's, okay, you know they're all right. They don'tneed me as much now right, yeah, it's like you know: they've got their wingsthere flying I'm like good, you know, and so what I like to say that term. Ilike these actually is process erosion, because this is what happens when youstart because it starts a roding. I we are doing great we're being successful.This is winning guess what we kind of get too big for a Britches, sometimesright Gwee. We think you know we got this. It's easy! You know it's like youknow everything we're doing we're hitting gold and you move away from the basics youknow and what happens? Is You find those winds? Absolutely it's like. Youknow whether to be good or lucky. Well, yeah you're going to be lucky like. Canwe last so long right and so as you're doing it and youlook up and go holy crap what's going on, and that is the key as a leader issome of the coaches and trains is that I don't care how good it is going to be.You've got to act and coach like it's going to end right. This is it this Iyou know is that to be successful. If I...

...want to be I'll put it this way, I'm aDallas conboy ran right. I am a GOS cohors friend, but you got to givecredit to credit. Do work with Tom Brady. He is older than me, he's fortythree years old right and operating at such a high level rightnow that he doesn't sit there and O in the off season ago. I'm good man rightmonth in month. Out I mean he looks at he's: Micro manding is nutrition nowgrant and he's got all the money in the world to find the coaches all right,but but but to your point like again that I think he just said it. Heinvests in coaches right and to what you had said if I wasn't getting thecoaching so for those of you listening. This is a very important point. WhatMark said earlier was I wasn't getting it for my leader. I had to seek it outif you want to be successful, if you're, in a situation where don't blame theleader who's above your team, that they're not helping you right, they maynot know so they have to go out and find ways or reach out to other peoplein your organization to say: Can you help me? Can You coach me mentor methere you know, there's this podcast there's a lot of other podcast. There'sa lot of books on how to do this, but to your point, is it's almost likeground hogs day were without it, getting boring that commitment of everyday saying I'm doing my best as if the resultsfrom yesterday they're done so what's in front of me, did I make those phonecalls? Did I greet that customer? Did I deliver excellence? Did I do my besttoday? I think that is a question that often we start saying it, but we wonit's okay, but we are on it doesn't matter, but it does in T- and this iswhere it comes back to discipline, because not every day not every play isa touchdown. Is a success not every day you're going to sell some, then atevery day is a win. You know, and I started selling literally when I wasnineteen years old, start selling appliances and vacuum cleaners at sears,and if I sold something that day I was you know we yeah if I did sell anythingthat day- and I remember my you know my girlfriend at time she goes you got tolike not let your sales affected your mood and it was a nineteen twenty yearsold I was like that's true is like, and this is the discipline. Am I movinggoing back to the football analogy? If I won't do the right things every day,you know not every day is going to be a quote, unquote, Wan, but in the sinewfrom a is that is that again because you've said it twice and then you hadsomeone help you pivot it. You were basing your worth your success on asale versus Orrer, the actions right. So yes, you may not so to your footballanalogy, I'm not going to try and score a touchdown every play. I just need toget ten yards and I get four more plays, and then, but eventually I run out ofreal estate and I score so is it that celebrating trying to find celebration or fulfilment in the factthat I did these small actions a that that that's how you create thesustainability, a hundred and ten percent, because you're not going tohave a sale every single day, you're not going to have whatever quoteunquote. The end result is happen every day, but you can move that ball forward.That's literally my analogy is: Are you moving your business for it? Are youdoing what you should be doing to get to that in goal whatever that may be,whether it's a project? Did I get closer to my project, right excellence and so other? So then, for your foryour leaders, then, is that that seems to be a mindset to because a lot ofleaders of teams only celebrate the winds versus the actions that get thereand there's a there's, a a balance of...

...that you don't want to get so happyabout. Oh, you just made a good phone call versus hey, we do have to sell orwe do have to retain our customers at the restaurant or we have to delivergreat experience at the hotel because we want people to come back, but ifit's only wins there can be frustration or not a belief in the actions any moreand then it's well. I can't do this job and now I have turnover right and Ithink that's what you do whatever your kapes are you're watching that I meantypically whether that is activity what's their activities for that day,if it sails. What leads up to that sales is in the people in the showfloor. Is that appointment is you know a connections and you celebrate thosewinds. I did commercial roasting for a couple of years and it was a long termplay, meaning that not calling people and they're buying or Solon. I gotabout their relationship, and so in order to not get burned out in order tonot you know say what am I doing every single day is you got to celebrate?Those small wins? No doubt those small winds, that's how you can get burn out going.What the heck am I doing every single day I didn't win, I didn't do acts andone of the things I trained my teams are. Is You do the right things overand over and over and over because when you do write things more right, thingswill happen, but I like that, I, like you, know yeah we're right. Things willhappen and what I'd also do I speak in probabilty and possibility? All I wantto do is increase. The probability of what I want to happen will happen againor do I make a possible, for example, if I call a cust for five times or callhim one time the probability I'm going to connect with the consumer, obviouslyfive times as much higher right everything I'm doing is increased. Thatprobability factor. I want to follow that process from the custer. I want tosmile right, but right I mean all the small things they don't do it a Alan.So we, let me ask you just one one thing on this and then we'll move to adifferent topic, but I've noticed and I'd love your opinion on this. Whenteams went, let's say a team at a good month right in our motives, good sales,a strong weekend at a retail store, whatever the win is it? Do you thinkthat leaders discuss or dive into what cause that asmuch as they would if they missed their mark, not at all, unfortunately, butthank good leaders, whip I'll pet phrase thatin the sense that there, because there's always typically something yeah,you can get lucky right? That's a blue moon! You're going. I don't know whatthe heck work, but it work right for the major. I don't believe in, like Ilike making my own luck to land right, and so I look at what did we do? WasOur marketing different? Did we make more phone calls at? Was Our team onpoint you know? Did we did we watch where they greeted properly? Did theygo through the steps? And so usually? What happens, though, is when we haveabout a weekend? We go what happened guys what's going on versus, we look ata good week and already know an automotive if we're goin have a goodweekend. If we've got a ton of appointments, a lot of confirmations,all the activity we've been doing the week before has been building up to so and you're.So what you're saying is if, if we have a great week- and we wanted not justhigh five- yes, we can hide five, but then we need to go back and pause andjust say: Okay, folks. What did we do? Even if it wasn't? What did we dodifferently? What did we do to generate this? To reinforce those actions, so wego okay, let's repeat those actions again versus: Let's go! Do it again andpeople go. I don't know what I did, but we did. We did okay, so so it's up tothe leader to really get back to what you are saying. What are the actionsthat are causing these results? Make sure everybody knows what they did sothat we can repeat those action or at...

...least attempt to repeat those actionsso that we can generate similar success and you, the exact word, isreinforcement right, you're, reinforcing the good right- and this isthis brought me up from our book. That's right behind you,the red cover back there, I tint coin, the term self, policing, recognitionand what I mean by that is post results right post up how everyone's doing? What do your keepyour eyes what's going on, and you don't have to go over it every singleday, but by allowing folks to see how they're doing in comparison to theirappears right, they're going to go you it's going to be self pleasing is whathappens is when you have a good culture right and not a you know. You know the dissension, but it's likeit's that friendly competition. It's like you,know glad I'm doing better than you or Yehol motivate each other. You canalmost stay out of the way a little bit absolutely and I've learned that youknow many years ago, but yeah like when youhave that culture they want to push each other right on the start, talkingtrash in a friendly way, yeah right or going. I got this one. I got this, Ohyou got it, you know and a crand, not what creates culture right, that thatyou're able to celebrate that and the folks are in the bottom right. It'sthat's how you're able to find and coach them right of how well they'redoing or what, how not well they're doing and you're going to you're goingto coach them on from there. But what I love about that too, is you're,focusing on again the KPIS, where the pieces to the result- you're not justsaying well, here's the end result and list that we're going backwards to sayhere's all the pieces, because then it helps you as a leader to be able totarget what each individual needs. You know you might be struggling with stepto I'm struggling would step forward instead of just making a blanketstatement. Itt allows you, as a leader, to really again be accountable for your actions, meaning my checklessmeans I have to go coach them to get them better, but diving in to be ableto see. Well. What do I need to work on with each individual? So so, on that point of personalaccountability and- and you were you know when we first were talking aboutcoming on personal accountability- meanseverything, meaning your whole life and you have always been very successful.You know with all the teams you're working with, and you know you postedsomething the other day on facebook and I knew about it, but a lot of people Idon't think did and you were very, in my opinion, very brave, to stand outthere and basically, you know shared your taking charge of your personal life interms of your drinking some of the personal things that were going on, andI remember the time when it was happening. You know you just got to apoint of saying: listen. This is a long, no longer acceptable and the reason whyI would love to discuss this is because I'm sure there's a lot of people whohave not just that issue, but other issues of behavior or be it just. Italk down to my people, I yell at my people. I don't think I'm you know.Someone was saying the other day when I was interviewing them. The leader I waswhen I started versus fifteen years into it because I wouldn't have workedfor me would have a right. I would have cut out exactly he said you know. I wasthat leader that everyone hated, because I just yelled until someonehelped me understand that- and I took account, took charge of that. I tookhambily so walk me through that, because I think there's a lot in it tohelp a lot of people who one may not understand it and number two is takecharge of a you know how you did take charge so that they can say well. Icould take charge of x in my life just as well absolutely, and so the postthat Glen you're referring to is you know back, and I was back in Augustthat I posted I'm four years over...

...and my heart behind it was for thelongest time I was ashamed of my alcoholism. I was ashamed of. This is who I am or what I've become,or all the negative connotations that picks off M and itsucked you know to. I wasn't proud. I don't want to. I was thirty, eightthirty, nine years old and I went to rea, and that was the hard that was I'malready getting an emotional now, but it Wube you. I don't look up andbecause from the House I looking in wonderful marriage, three kids, youknow successful working with UN bride. I mean everything from the outs I meanliterally from the world's perspective right. The world was, I wasn't going tothe bottle for liking, better term, because I was Oh, my gosh. I got a youknow pies the day you know it was. I started going to the bottle andlongstone one thing. I learned was that they saidring at was you know? Alcohol will do what it does every single time it gets you the results you want rightnow, hey I mean there's no black and I going. If I do this, what's going tohappen this time now it it's the most consistent thing in the world, becauseit's going to do what it's a it is designed to do, and so I was looking up. I was thirty. Thirty nine and Iremember gland looking in the mirror and- and it didn't happen overnightsame thing of how you kind of get out of whack from a perspective, you don'tjust turn an alcoholic of one drinker, one binge drinking of you know I was abench drinker. I wasn't in the end, I start drinking more every day, but it'syou started. Turning to that and you it was a slow progress, ramped up by many life events and whatnot, but I remember, looking in the mirror going, I'm I recognized Glam and even said tomyself. I don't know if I said it out loud at least set on my head. Is I'mliving a destructive life? I was aware of I'm on a wrong path. I was aware ofthat. You know and praise the Lord that I had an amazing support of wife thatwalked alongside with me through that, but the whole idea behind that post wasto let others know that they're not alone, because for thelongest time I did feel alone m. You know and that's why I support groups.Alcoholic Anon, anonymous in a any type of those events are so successfulbecause you can feel like you're on an island right of something's wrong withme. I'm broke right that you're ashamed of that and even go into a a right you stepping out. It's like you gotyour family of a a folks right where people share the same struggles. Theyspeak your language, but going outside of that. This stigma, at least in mymind, M, was not good and I'll, probably get choked uptelling the story, but I remember making that post and and I've beenthinking about it, a lot to post and I posted it on facebook. IGlad I within ten minutes I called amber my life balling. The MONTALIcomment, I'm proud of you you're amazing m. all this was so overwhelming that I was like holy crap. It's almost.Why haven't I shared this sooner? You know, in the same time that you wereready to share it. I wasn't ready, but what I was amazed through that was thatI had so many people...

...mark I'm struggling to message me yeah,I'm literally going to re happen. Four days someone I used to work with markI'm in Rehab Right now. I had a gentleman text me call me a buddy of mine frommany years ago. Mark it in see your post, but someone told me about it. Iwas in Rehab when you got it and I was able to walk alongside them. Similar lives going. I would have neverthought right. I couldn't believe it. You don't know what you're goingthrough and I think that's district do full circle of fullaccountability. Is I knew the path that was on. I was on thepath to literally lose everything in my life you know so to. Let me ask you this,because, again and and and not as I had shared with you, I was very proud ofyou and, as I said, I remember the whole time, but you know taking a step back fromalcohol, because that's one but right there's a lot of people who, as we weretalking earlier about that gentleman who was a manager who sees the toxicbehavior that they're exhibiting to other people, but they don't know howto get out of it. They don't know how to ask for help they're, seeing thatthere's turnover in their business they're, seeing that nobody wants towork for them. They see that they're afraid when they walk around it couldbe food and your diet. It could be extra, there's a million. You know justyour relationship, you know, with your wife or husband and you're out doingthings you shouldn't be doing and you're ashamed and it's so the question would be for that. Someonewho's feeling that right now, what was the you know? was there a trigger thatfinally said this? Is it? Was it someone else? What's the one where youfinally said, I can't go down because I'm from that listen I have threebrothers who are you know alcoholics had they gone through, it and they'vebeen sober and I'm so proud of them as well. So I've been around it and I'veseen the trigger where it was like you got to the edge. You didn't gocompletely, but you got there right. So if someone's listening to this andagain it might be, you can talk yourself out of it like it's, not thatbad. Oh absolutely so talk to me about that journey of talking yourself out ofit again. In your case it was alcohol. Other people may have other thingswhere youore convincing yourself. It's not that bad. But what is that pointfor you and then what gave you the strength tosay? I have to change I'll put it this wing, I googled. How do you know if you'redrinking too much swear if you're having to talk yourselfout of something if you're having to go? It's not that bad and- and if I becausethis is so- and I share that because I'm like oh my gosh mark, that was a clue for my even my own self. I mean,if you're having to talk yourself through it right of that toxic food alcohol relationships, your ability of coaching, you feel inthat blank, if you're having to actively mentally walk your throughsomething's broke, so you so what you're saying there, because there wassomeone who I had talked to, they were working in a toxic environment right.It wasn't good, they knew, but it was that you're, almost what it sounds like is you're askinghow bad does it have to be a or you're trying to convince yourself that it'snot that bad right by googling those things? Well, it's not really bad yeahor it's not bad or I'm okay, or look at all the good and and and you're tryingto either. I want to say distract yourself but talk yourself out, becausemaybe there's fear on the other side of...

...s the decision or you're, fearful ofthe unknown. On the other side of that decision, a hundred I mean that's. Thekey right is that it's that fear the I know what if I do, get help what'sgoing to happen. What if I make that decision to get outof that Tox or relationship? What's going to happen right, you know and youget stuck, and you accept good enough- you except bad enough, because that's what youknow right right and you are conditioned to it- people around your condition to it, butthis is the thing is I knew prior right, it wouldn't like it wasn't like I lookup and I got drunk one night. Oh my gosh got to go now. There was. It was aconstant look in my wife's eyes of hurt things. I said that I don't rememberliterally, and there are so many times where, if this is the most importantperson in the world, why am I continuing to hurt this personright? Why am I goin in lot terms thatyourself to it, maybe you're not hurting someone else, but I bet you are. I bet you are because, let's say you'rein that toxis job or you're, that toxic leader, you're hurting others you're,not making people their best cells or your your best self, and for me there was it I mean it really was therewas a lying in the sand became black out drunk on my wife'sbirthday. You know and you look up and it's going, there's gotto be a change and I know that it was a no brainer because I was broke. You know- and Ihope no one has to get to the point to where there's that chance, where I gotthat buddy that wasn't read that called me and he says my wife wants a divorce right and I think theLord. I wasn't there because I think he lad it go that long.I don't know you know a distant friend and I'll say this. Is that if you're feel like it's bad enough, well you'relistening to this podcast number one right, so you are seeking to better yourself if you're seeking,if you're having a look up and go, is this who you want to be a this? Is whoyou want to be whatever your agents? Is this therelationship, because I promise you it can be better right, fer years. On theother side, I I wish I would have got sober manymany years ago. So Berma is a much happier play we. We got drunk mark overhere in sober, that's what my wife and I call me I don't want to go back. I don't want toyeah. I do miss a good glass of wine right. That's really all a mess, but isit worth that hack to the now, because I'm in a much happier place I'm a muchbetter version of WHO I want to be at because I looked in that mirror andgoing am I the father? I don't want to be a no. My other husband am I just aplain man that I want to be a right. No, it's so now yeah! Oh my in Utopia,heck now my wife will tell you no no, but I'm much better version of WHO I amI'm sure the there's not something in my way. In that perspective, that'sgetting me preventing me from being it now. It's all me now, it's my habits.Now it's I'm in control of what I am you know, and so and Ithink that's a that's a really good point. I don't mean to interrupted. Ilike that. What you just said is that I'm in control, because there's a lotof people who are in these situations,...

...whatever the situation is, you know bad,I'm I'm creating a bed work environment at work in a bad work, environmentrelationship do whatever it is, there's the sense of well, I don't havea choice or this is all I know, and I think going back to that fear of you know the fear of the other sidewere. Actually you know it's the fear of confronting yourself. I thinkbecause I think when you have to go through this, I've talked to mybrothers. Even for me, you know going back to therapy to talk about. You knowthings. You know it's just that fear of holding the mirror up to yourself andsaying why. Why is this happening? Why am I doing this and taking in goingback to accountability and responsibility? That's really what thisis. This is true responsibility that I am the boss that yells at people,because that's all I know, will then a be fixedthat go out and get training and become the better person. Well, what if itdoesn't get to result well, you're losing people, you know and you'rewasting time, train retraining, people, because you're driving them out thedoor or be your weight or just you know, tired of not feeling good. You know,there's people who go on the diets and finally say I'm exercise, because I'msick and tired of feeling sick and tired right that type of mentality. Soso to that point to the people who are here listening, the one say I don't know how to changethat or I'm afraid to look inside. What do you say to that? I mean becauseagain they have to be ready to do it, but the same moment in time. That isthe secret that unlocks the other side. You know I mean that's the you can leada horse to water right like a drink, you know, and so this is the thing I'dsay to anyone. Whatever the situation is: Is Life can be richer? Life can be ifyou're struggle with those things right that it can be better M and is it you haveto be brave enough to take that first step. You have to be brave enough to gonow what I am tired of drop Mark Right, unhealthy, filling it back toxin. Youknow whatever that case is- and this is consumed me long enough, and that canjust have to be that long. It doesn't have to be a long road, but you've got to sit there and realize there's life on this other side.There's richness, there's fulfilment. There is happiness. There's I mean ourphrase that there's joy right right, because I think joy can can come insideyour life happiness is fleeting risoldo heart, a car high five, that's happyright at that. Won't Hi won't stay there, but that joy of life of richnessof fulfillments of you know, I guess just knowing who youare and being content with who you are as aperson. There's no other things. My perfect now,but I promise you this is that I'm much more content, I'm much more. You know much better place now than I was fouryears ago. Then I was three years right and complacency. People don't get itwrong. Complacency doesn't mean you're, not challenging yourself and pushingyourself what what that means is contentment means, I feel in control ofmovement, and I don't have to you know, there's nothing else to stop me from continuing on the path tofind a better version of myself and growing. You know that other pathwasn't that path was, you know, putting band a bad bandaidsand I wasn't looking- and it was just finding ways to distract myself fromthe reality that you know if it's in your head to your point where you'regoogling yeah this or how do I get out of this?You know I have seen it with my...

...brothers and I see the transformationfor you, the people on the other side who werethere to help? You will shell up absolutely and you makethat commitment to step in that direction. They're waiting for you overthere. They just they're not going to come and drag you because in a lot ofcases, they've already tried to or tell you and you're like right, a Lala, I'mnot lifting or not it, but once you do that the support will be there. I'veseen it countless times the person who is leaving a toxic work environment, the amount of people who are willing tohelp as soon as she said, yeah. I gotta go right like this, and so you have to open yourself up to thatpossibility to allow others to come in and help you that, to your point,that's what all of the you know Aa is, and some of these other there they'rethere to help you because they've been there they're a little further down theroad, possibly to help you. But you have to be willing and it's not easyand it's a constant commitment, but it's a far better path. It's a betterway to truly be accountable to yourself and you know to be present for otherpeople absolutely, and I think it's what you have to do: You're exactlyright. The support system that I you know when I shared that you know it was amazing, but even before that Istood on the shoulders, that of those that have gone before me. Youknow, and I was able to sit there and walk alongside folks in a right when I was in Maria the folksthat have mean most of people there right had addictions before right,because and that's their heart behind it and so you're able to walk alongsidethese folks and that's the scary part is making that final decision to make achange to be a better right, and I think that's the key. You have thosepre judgments. I remember one of my brothers was telling me because he went-and he said the judgment you had mentioned it earlier, especiallyregarding alcohol. You Think, Oh, if you have a problem with alcohol, you're,not strong, you're, a loser, your Xyz, but when all of a sudden you go tothese meetings, Aa or you go to these- and you see people who are- and yousaid it perfectly earlier from outside perspective- they're successful- theyhave everything there. You know they got the great job, they got the four.You know two houses and cars and their big title, but something inside of themis not right and they're using in this case alcohol to to dull that and all of a sudden that stigma goesaway, because you see all of these people that in passing from the outside,they look great, but they have something that they need help with, andso that allowed at least my brothers to step through to go. Oh, it's not aloser, condition yeah, you not to Po on the side of the road you coming outside of the road with the sign you know, with the bottle. I saw a literalgrandma and there's a there was the sweetest lady that was in rea, but Ithought she was to work in there now. This is like my grandma Ronan Reap. Youknow what it's just going wow. You know. I was amazed at at the type of people.There's no there's no discrimination, you know from there, but everyone did reach out and, and they had to makethat decision for themselves they had to go. I want to be better. I got a change because their family has tried. Youtried every cotton, picking away to fix, fix, m broke and it hasn't worked. Youknow, and you know I've had people ask me through that post. Have you notdrank...

...like into this person? That wasstruggle. I could tell that's like there were. I was at it's like I'm, notalcoholic, but I want to drink less like they weren't there, becausethey're like well. I just I need to drink less yeah they're negotiating if,if you're asking an alcoholic how to drink less you're googling, am I drinking too much you know? And sohow do I and one of the things that they were asking was like? Well, whatdo I do right? How are I stay busy and you know- and so I get that but reach out find others that have gonebefore you find the folks in jets come back toleadership right right, if you don't have those around you, you're, obviously listening to topodcast freed right. This is where I was going to go back toand full back because, what's going to happen, is we usually share successeson social, medium right? It's so so many times we can getstuck of going well. Look at Glen, look at Brian Look at him! Look at thisright, we're all happy and smily and they in all their crap together, and that's why I posted that yeah!That's really was because you'd go back and look at all my time, life for thelast. Since I've been social media, there's been very little failures right. You know it was and that's thething is that we get this perception that social media right distorts. Reality distorts what people have together,distorts everything a look at this success. Look at this look at that andyou're going literally is, can really mess with yourmind, oh no, their studies that we're talking about you know teams, excuse meespecially young girls. Suicide rates are because of instagram and the bodiesand I'll never be there or ye. You know it's because everyone's postingeverything great the social media can just reinforcethat will either I don't have it or I'm okayor you just don't want to put a negative thing out there and and but Iagree with you, I mean, if you're asking yourself the question aboutanything right across your whole life. If you're saying why are peoplequitting on me all the time? Why do I have turnover in my company there'ssomething that someone's doing? There are actions that are causing thatunrest and eventually someone has to hold the mirror up and takeaccountability for to say hey, it could be me and then you have to say: Wherecan I get help? And if it's not internal to your business, then thereare places that you can go and hire a coach or go ba. If you really want tochange, sometimes it takes you getting firedfor you to wake up it. Sometimes it's you know Tony Robins used to always saypeople don't change until they have to change right. People, don't lose weighttill the doctor says hey. If you don't, you know it's and to your point, is outside influences or yourself toldyourself. Okay, I this is it so that accountability has to come. If youwant to or else again it is, you are the master of your life, andyou know you can blame them point fingers all you want, but you're theone who got you here. All of your actions got to wear your day and allyour actions are going to get you to where you're going to be a year fromnow. So the question is: Do you want to be in a different place a year from nowabsolutely, and I think and that's what you do is for me that, yes, I was drunk on mywife's birthday. Black, I drank multiple ous before, but I had tofigure out what is about. Why m? Why is the person that I just disappointed onher birthday right? Why are those three kids my? Why is that period and a story,and I'm jeopardizing that with my...

...actions right and it finally got to thepoint to go on, and you know what I don't know what's about to happen, butI do know if that's my why I got to get help. I got to change. Yes, I got achance and before they change and you may not like the change, they make ahundred percent. You know- and I think that's the same- that could go to anytype of relationship Yep. I nip of addiction, any type of job I mean I know people getting divorcedafter thirty, eight years, they're, almost seventy years old and becausethey allowed stuff and to finally boiled up to that boy that in yeah me B,I took that long. I don't know, but they are and guess what life is richerfrom that toxic environment. You know, I'm not sing a divorce. In just sayingthere was such a toxic environment. No, I agree. I think toxicity can be masked for a long time. You can laugh it off slough it off,excuse it off, but eventually it catches up to yousomehow, because the the ball just keeps rolling more and more and morewithout you, even knowing it, and that's the few things that I learnedfrom my brothers is that it grows. It has a life of its own to your point,alcohol does what it's going to do and when you do more of it, it's going todo what it does and eventually your body's either going to give out- or youknow the people around you're going to give out and T and that's no not agreat place so again. So first off. I just want to thank you somuch for sharing this that this imet to share this. I do because I think thethe honesty and what you brought today was great. So, at the end of all of ourepisodes, we do a little thing called. You know just sort of fun. You knowquick questions behind the Mike get to know work like light in the mood beforewe leave. So quick questions, don't overthinkthem, we talk, so it's basically focused on. I call it the one so onefood, you cannot live without cheeseburger all an I am a hamburger,cheeseburger connoisseur cause she's, nothing on it or you solo. No, no! Igot a doctor at up. I mean bacon cheese, I'm a male guy, not a muster guy, the best Brugger I was so proud. I feltlike I was achieved the ultimate did moment. I was asking my daughter anyother day. I was like: What's your favorite cheeseburger, she goes yours S,favorite cheese. I make a darn good cheeseburger there, Rember, whateveryou prefer, but now just a good good old fashioned burger is not not a fastfood, but it needs to be no. No! No! No! You got to do all right. What's the oneplace you would like to visit that you haven't traveled to yet Greece. I think my amber and I'vetalked about Greece. I think it's one place that would love to go or eventotally completely different. Boston never been to Boston. Would love to gostina great great city, great to love to go there. I love to go to a SOx game,just to say you know been fin way. I mean just A. I can ogre it's a greatexperience as a Yankee Fan. Even I said it's a great experience. What's one movie that you stop andwatch when you run across it amber, can answer this. One is where,as where any of the born ultimatum series- oh yeah crile, that is kind oflike my go to or complete opposite Talladega, its so ricky bobby. I thinkthose are just taking bolicy bobby rekvire, two of my absolute favorites,absolutely what's something you're reading or listening to that isinspiring you that you would share with...

...other people. I would say that one of my favorite books that Icontinue. I honestly what made me think all this is. You are a bad ass. That's the name ofthe you know the your bad as making money she's a gin sincera thinks hername. No, no okay, yeah, it's a there's as two books, so there's a you're, abad ass and then you're a bad asset. Making money one is yellow ones green.I think the green ones, money she's, a comedian anyways. I listen toit. It's an audio buck, an I. She brings encouragement, empowerment and just account ability to have new leveland she's funny as all get out to she was living in a garage apartmentand kind of woke up what same thing we'll get on Dan go and this is got tochange sometimes, and so she changed and so you're about. As so, it's allencouragement and that really, honestly, I read it around the time we arecreating Megran, consulting and really empowered me going. I can do this yeah.I was a very empowering book and I think that's I will literally go backand listen to it and just to be encouraged from her we'll link it up inthe show notes there too. Okay, two more. If I got all your close friends, familytogether asked them to describe you with one word. What would it be? Iwould say: that's a great one. The first word is come on. Mouth isgenuine. HMM, you know, I think, I'm a very genuine caring, individual. You know I shouldreally hear about others. I care about making other people feel importantloved as stupid as it is. If I'm at it, it'snot stupid. I want to make sure people that there they have value they haveworth as small as when I'm checking out at agrocery store or anywhere I'm not on my phone. If I'm on the phone, I willliterally get off, because I want to connect with that person right justacknowledgment. We dismiss people so much, HMM that it's like they're, justchecking me out. I'm like I literall get off. I I just can't do it becauseit's I'm not to on Horn, but it's I think we get used to just going. It'sjust someone checking me out right. I agree. I was just traveling at aconference and- and I always do that too, but there was someone there whotook it a step further by thanking them by name yeah. I looking at their nametag and saying thank you mark right. Thank you very much like your waiterwaitress. What's your name and thanking them by name, I think that againconnects even a step further. I love that. Okay, auto all what we talked about. Wetalked about a lot today if you were saying, what's the one thing that youwould like the people listening to this to take away with them, what's the onelesson, what would you say it would be? I would say: Life is better with personal accountability that youdo something about is that it can be scared. This can go back to changing things atthe work and go back to alcoholism, two big extremes, but both can make bigchanges in your life and, if you make that decision to be better right, decide and do something so manypeople get stuck in decision of going well, I don't know what to do dosomething. One thing I train is action is better than inaction. Do somethingmove forward. I promise you keep moving forward. You might not have the answerof how to coach try to train I'm. I am that yeller. I am that person keep seeking right and making thatdecision to be better than you are...

...yesterday. Making that decision I can'tdrink any more, I'm living a destructive life life's better, and Iso I think that comes back to holding up thatmirror and going do I want to be better. Do I want to be a better version of WHO?I am right now at thirty two thenten two, forty eight sixty eight years oldis this the life that I want to be at right or well live, and if it's not make that decision to day to be different and then do it dosomething. I think that's because peel get stuck in that I don't know what todo do something we got to. I had so many people react to me from my postansmark. I don't know what to do literally. So many people- and I was like- dosomething go a but not, but do something I promise you do somethingnow to Tony Robins way back when I listen to his tapes, you know years andyears, yeah, that's what he would say. He said: Don't plan, what are you goingto do? What's the one thing you're going to do today, even if it's justwriting down the list, even if it's getting up and going for a walk, it'ssomething to start the action, and I love what you said about action versusinaction. There's someone who is on the podcast, who said you know a working. Ahundred percent committed to a bad process is better than twenty fivepercent committed to a perfect process, and I just love that so again, somemore! Thank you so much. This has been a phenomenal conversation. So where canpeople connect with you if they're interested in in your consultingcompany, or even just connecting with you online, absolutely so you'll postit up America, it's harder to spell the migrant consul tincomb. I try to cameup with a fucking name, but end of the day is I'm super creative withmacrannul incom there you go my the biggest thing that people must spell.You can start finding online, it's mark and MERC. My grand just google methere's only one of me in the world. There is a mark for the K, but hedoesn't put up that much so right linked in facebook instagram. So I'mreally not instagram anymore, so you can find out o love to connect. If youwant to talk more in any way, shape, form or fashion feel free to reach outto me, I'd be more happy to share, because I do truly care about helpingothers. I'm I- and I would, when you said the word genuine. I was going yeah,that's a good one. I was going to reel like you offer. You are there's no, youknow, there's no mask, there's no alter ego there. So again, so everyone again,thank you. So much again, don't forget to subscribe. You can subscribe andlisten to this podcast wherever you listen to the an apple spotify whereveryou can also pop over to the Youtube Channel. Don't forget to subscribeshare this out, especially this episode. There's a lot in here. I'm sure thereare people who could benefit from what mark had to say. Also leave a reviewleave a comment. It helps spread the the podcast out, but I also want tohear what you're liking as well. I know there's a lot of places that you couldspend time in the fact that you spend time today with mark and myself meansthe world to make, as I say at the end of every episode, you're in charge, butnow mark's giving you a few more tools to help you become better, bothprofessionally and personally, so that you can be the better version of whoyou really want to be. So thanks. So much for your tension. Mark Again, Iappreciate your time, love you my friend be well. I will see you guys onthe next episode a.

In-Stream Audio Search

NEW

Search across all episodes within this podcast

Episodes (100)